Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

funkcorn it isn’t actually me that said I had one?

funkcorn and actually if you read up Is was me ASKING if people said they had them as they can be passed even when you don’t actually have one. I’m fully educated thank you. But like I said this is the dating thread not that one!

Thanks Shit, 70% of people in the UK have it and 25% get it genitally so to be honest I don’t think anyone knows or tells, and it’s a spot at the end of the day, but herpes argh

ANYWAY I hope your date is awesome

You can't pass on cold sores unless you actually have symptoms. www.nhs.uk/conditions/cold-sores/ I get oral cold sores and always let people know if I'm having a flare up, but there's no need to tell people in advance if you're not actually sporting one (or feeling the tingle).

Charlee hang on the NHS advice is totally different for genital and oral HSV, it is the polar opposite of every other medical site and journal, it’s the same virus and both can shed asymptomatically! It’s wrong. No wonder there is stigma for one and not the other.

Sorry it’s me that’s totally derailed this, move on nothing to see here. Not a subject for the dating thread that is already challenging enough

Argh my Friday date is now tonight instead
I haven't been on a first date for ?17 years

Still nothing. Beginning to worry.

@shitwithsugaron Sorry! Moving swiftly on. ☺️ When I've got one, I go well gothic with the eyeliner and hope it distracts from my lips. 🖤

I get cold sores on my lips about twice a year, the way I handle it is to not be intimate with anyone about that time and I tell my fwb and we don't meet up (he gets them too). I wear the patches so I don't infect my kids etc as well. I don't see any need to tell anyone else and when I have a flare up I keep totally clear of that situation.

Mr ex hasn't replied to my message today so will be the first day with no contact in a month, feels a bit strange so I'm thinking busy with family. I've been asked out on a date by one of the random swipes I did on Xmas day. He seems funny and he's tall, that's two of the things in my list!

He replied and said he'd had a really busy Christmas and been a slave to the kitchen with family. He loves cooking.

Shall I just take it at face value.

He hasn't been in whatsapp much but replied as soon as he got my message.

Out of the time we've spoken he has initiated contact 80% of the time.

Am feeling all confused about my situation....

Been on 7 dates with Mr phd, he's taken me to things he's doing, introduced me to some of his friends and told them about me, and he's slept over 4 times and was here til 1pm Xmas eve. He's cuddly and affectionate in person, takes my hand in public etc and was attentive at messaging (not much but a couple of times a day before Xmas).

Xmas itself seems to have thrown a major spanner the works. He is in process of selling former matrimonial home - he moved out Nov 2017 - and lodges locally to me (fmh 15 miles out of the city) or stays at the fmh in his caravan on the drive if he's needed for a.m school run etc. He spent Xmas morning at fmh with exW and her visiting family as 4yo son lives with exW. 4yo is rejecting him in favour of exW and doesn't want anything to do with Daddy at the mo, won't leave exW to spend day just with Daddy etc. He visited his own family in afternoon. We had chats on messenger last night and today, he tends to end them with "t'ara chuck" +kisses and kisses emoji and isn't being flirty like he was before Xmas.

It is tricky for us to catch up this week as I have my kids too. He did say "I'd suggest coming over but my lodgings aren't nice" this eve and once I said I couldn't anyway due to own kids but that I did wish he was present for a hug he replied saying it wld be really good to meet up soon and then : "thing is I think that having kids is good for self regulating new passion" and "in the good old days, maybe burned a little too bright and short at first"... I'm hopefully just being a stereotypical woman and overthinking but can't decide if this is a good or bad thing!

He just seems a bit glum and distant - appreciate the emotional load of x mas but it is stringing b me out a bit.

Niki it’s good he replied is take that at face value.

Cold those last two statements are a bit off but it could be the pain of Christmas

Morning swipers. My date went very well, he was far more nervous than me and it was a very nice evening. We are seeing each other again.
I now have to cancel my provisional date elsewhere as I don't really want to date more than one person, its not for me.
We laughed a lot and I'm pretty sure he fancied me. So all in all, not bad.

cold sounds like to me he's just being honest. Xmas must be v hard if your child is rejecting you and you're stuck in a caravan in the drive. He's probably embarrassed about his living conditions. I also don't think it's a bad sign about taking things slowly. Sometimes things do go too fast and burn out so the fact that he is consciously wanting to make things last longer sounds good to me :) xx

warls that sounds like a great start.

deffo thank you. I'm hoping it's a positive thing, just struggling with how lovely and attentive he was last weekend and 23rd/24th and now he feels a million miles away. I think the fact that my kid situation of being run ragged by solo parenting 3 adolescent boys for a week is such a contrast to his is tricky too. I'm not going to contact him today , just give him some space. He's at his lodgings on his own at the mo. as his landlord (a friend) is away but has the contrast of exW having the fmh packed with all her family visiting.

collocation, I thinl Christmas is a really odd time for people and perhaps he doesn't want to burden you with how he's feeling . Being rejected by his son must be really tough. Mr Ex has been quiet and a bit grumpy but he's been on his own alot this Christmas and that's tough. Things should settle back down again now I hope !

I've been asked out for a date on Saturday. I'm trying to reign him in a bit as he's super flirty on text and I just can't do it until I've met someone. Find it really awkward if you meet and there's nothing there. I've changed the conversation a few times but he keeps bringing it back to that. Should I just say something? Feels a bit mean as I think he's harmless. Or keep diverting and hope he gets the hint. Oh man they can't win can they. He's done the hard bit and asked me out.

Warls sounds very promising, glad you had a good time and there’s going to be a 2nd date.

I have Mr Hippie coming over at the weekend, he wanted to spend the whole weekend with me but told him it was too much as I spend Saturdays doing stuff with my dd’s (They go to their dads Sunday), he wants to stay sat night and spend Sunday together, he also wants to spend New Year’s Eve night with me. He’s a bit like a overexcited puppy, I’m not sure if I am as into him as he is me, I like him but I want to slow it right down or it will be too much for me (I have been single for a long time and like my space).

@shitwithsugaron Good luck and have fun!