Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I accidentally swiped right on someone yesterday, should have left the apps alone, of course he matched with me, no photo and a smoker, I felt a bit bad unmatching on Christmas Day but couldn't face chatting pointlessly, might be growing that thick skin.

@scotgal I wish they would clone the lovely Matthew!

Ok so mr bullshit inappropriate from last night who I was using to distract me from chasing MR SY who has now gone AWOL after messaging every day for weeks and weeks and setting a date, turns out to be legit, has sent me his FB profile for stalking (I never friend), and asked me out. A bit in shock .

I’m doing something a little crazy. Mr Hippie is alone at Christmas so he’s coming over, my house is pretty much ‘open house’ Christmas Day, people come and go so I said he could come over, now I’m thinking “shit, what have I done?” But it’s too late, he’s on his way over. I think I need a stiff drink or 5. This could either go well or really badly.

Hope everyone is having a lovely,relaxed Christmas.

Next year we may all have new boyfriends/ girlfriends! so lets make the most of having the sofa to ourselves, scoffing all the chocs and not having to shave. No blending of families and things that can often be tricky.

Lets embrace singledom as we know it won't be for long :)

love.I love your style! Hope it goes fine

Happy belated Christmas all. @Lovemusic33 How did the last minute impromptu date go? Hope it's the start of something good for you.

@shitwithsugaron I wouldn't cancel the date, perhaps drop it into conversation before, just so he has a heads up.

Had a lovely morning with MrAbs yesterday whilst DD was at her dad's. Exchanged some small thoughtful gifts (we've obviously both been paying a lot of attention to what the other one has been saying these last few weeks).

He's asked me to meet some close friends of his in January (will mean a night away staying at their house), so I'm looking forward to that.

shitwithsugar cold sore patches are your friend. I get cold sores now and then and the patches just make you feel loads more comfortable in situations like that.

lovemusic, that sounds just lovely and the but about being invited to friends too.

I've had a little Christmas swipe which has yielded some different chats. Some nostalgic, some very flirty. Been quite good fun. Let's see if any of these chats go beyond December 🤣. I'm feeling optimistic about it all, there's stuff I fancy doing this year so already on the case with that. I'm seeing fwb this weekend who sent me a lovely Christmas message and Mr ex supposedly this weekend too but let's see. Previous form says we won't!

shit don’t cancel, but I do wonder if you, if any of you tell them you get cold sores before you kiss or are intimate? Because they can be passed on even if you have no symptoms. The rising cause of genital herpes is from oral sex from someone who gets cold sores.

Sorry shit subject.

Anyway I fucked up last night, MrStone has been texting consistently from Xmas eve and seems to be offering what I’m looking for but I panicked after he said something very specific out of the blue that he may be someone else I used to know “pretending” I called him on it and he was obviously a bit perturbed. Made myself look insane 🤦‍♀️ Think I may be too wary for this OLD malarkey. Suspect he will ghost today, I would

I matched with a lovely chap last night
Who was visiting family vaguely near me but lives at the other end of the country, how annoying.
Chatted to another who unmatched me when I said no thanks to a 'pic'
Festive swiping is crap

Mr Hippie has only just left, he stayed the night 😐 we had a few drinks and things um... went really well. I’m kind of overwhelmed and petrified but also excited. He seems lovely, felt like we had known each other a while and felt really relaxed. There were bad parts, I had a bad stomach after eating too much and ended up running back and forth to the loo for a couple of hours, very embarrassing but he just laughted it off and looked after me, I think the alchol I had drank probably didn’t help. We talked all night, DTD and spent a few hours together this morning.

He seems very keen, a bit over keen which is freaking me out a little. Only a few tiny amber flags, he is 6ft 7 (I am 5”2), he makes me feel very tiny and I can’t reach him to kiss him. He snores, and I got no sleep at all and am now really tired. I am seeing him again at the weekend but I think I will have to suggest slowing things down a little as I’m don’t feel ready having someone in my bed (I love my space), I would like to get to know him first.

It’s ok shit it’s just there was a thread on here the other day and it was unanimous that if you get them on the lips no one needs to know but if you get them down south you HAVE to tell. Seems a bit hypocritical when it’s the people with them on the lips (mainly men to women to be fair) that are the ones spreading it the most.

I just think it’s a skin virus, most people have it so why the judgement on those who carry it elsewhere than the lips?

Anyway that’s not this thread

MrStone has texted this morning so clearly my insanity last night hasn’t put him off and even if he does know MrSY as I a paranoid about I shouldn’t be feeling that I can’t talk to others when we haven’t actually even met and he’s gone radio silence!

Still no chatting with my guy. Been talking loads for 2 weeks. Hopefully just Christmas

Great news that a few of you have had fantastic dates

I'm out shopping for bits and bobs for cabin tomorrow. I said merry Xmas to Mr Italy yesterday and thought great now he will leave me alone bUT surprisingly I've got a how are you WA today.....why can't he just F off completely and save me stress lol

Niki I just heard from MrSY (and now feel guilty for going back on site ) so hold the faith a little it could be Christmas!

Scot stop replying and block the man is an ass!

Can I ask a question to some of you more experienced Bumble users please?
I don’t match with that many men as I think I am quite fussy but then of ones I do match with and message, i’ve only had two people respond and that has fizzled into nothing.
What am I doing wrong? I’m not the most confident with messaging first but have been keeping it to a short and polite “hi, how are you/happy Christmas/blah blah.

Does anyone have any tried and tested opening messages?!

Only just started on Bumble but of 6 messages sent have had 4 back, I always try to pick something from their profile, for example “Hello had to message mainly for the whisky” (he’d written that he liked it).

3 of those messaged Xmas eve within the time limit not to lose the conversation but nothing since and I think that’s because the is Christmas and everyone is busy!

I'm finding Bumble is rubbish in terms of flagging up replies etc. And there is hardly anyone actually local.
Plus I really hate having to message first, I'm old, on one hand I'm a feminist but OTOH I'm used to men doing the chasing

*It’s ok shit it’s just there was a thread on here the other day and it was unanimous that if you get them on the lips no one needs to know but if you get them down south you HAVE to tell. Seems a bit hypocritical when it’s the people with them on the lips (mainly men to women to be fair) that are the ones spreading it the most.

I just think it’s a skin virus, most people have it so why the judgement on those who carry it elsewhere than the lips?

Anyway that’s not this thread*

Oh my flipping heck ..... you are not telling people you have cold sores ? Suggest you do some googling !

Sunshine Bumble is rubbish at sending notifications that you have a message.
I've had chats that I've thought have stopped but then opened the app and discovered new matches and messages.

If there's nothing in their profile then I'll ask a 'this or that's question. For example "Christmas jumpers or not?" " Wine or beer". Anything that opens up a potential for a chat.