Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I mean, is it likely he's sent it to everyone in his list and therefore to me almost by accident.

Yes, i know i'm pathetic!!

@NorthernFlowerHouse I think he's sent it to all in the hope someone will reply. As hard as it is I'd ignore. You are definitely not pathetic I remember getting a few similar messages last year and was so tempted to answer but glad I didn't as I feel they aren't being honest just lonely at Christmas

I feel sad that I haven't got any of these happy Christmas texts.

and guy I'm talking to hasnt texted today

Totally ditto Niki no Xmas texts and no texts from the guy I’ve been speaking to for weeks.

So I hit bumble and am texting someone completely inappropriate and clearly looking for a bunk up 😂

Nothing wrong with Mr Wrong until Mr Right comes along yes?

Haha just scrolled back a page. Seems half the world is sending out these kinds of messages at the mo!

Chocolate you're absolutely right. I might send a polite 'Merry Christmas' back at a more reasonable hour but certainly not expecting him to have had any great change of heart re slow fading me.

Sorry they've not been in touch Niki and Leather. I'd wish them Merry Christmas in the morning but then concentrate on enjoying your day with or without any texts. They could be busy/ offline or it could just be part of the numbers game that is OLD- people flaking before you meet. keep at it either way.

Thanks Northern, to be honest he asked to be exclusive speaking and yet failed to make the time when he was in the country to meet me. Which I get as he has a daughter, but I’m not willing to hold out any longer because I can’t be 100% sure it’s not all bullshit before you actually meet (as the rules go), or that theirs a spark. And it would be February before he’s back again.

So I’m now messaging someone on Bumble who is definitely Mr Wrong but pleasantly distracting me from thinking about MrSY tonight, which weirdly feels like cheating. That should be a red flag in itself!

Just catching up with the thread and wanted to pick up on something from a couple of pages back.

I do actually think it matters if you earn much more and you like to do nice things, because eventually you’re left with two choices: either 1) you pay for the other person; or 2) you stop doing said nice things. Option 2 is what eventually happened with my ex because I realised I was paying for all our treats for both of us (admittedly he was also crap at managing the money he did earn, which didn’t help).

Quite a few male friends have also admitted to me that they would feel emasculated if their partner earnt more. Obviously, lots of people wouldn’t feel this way but I can see how it’s a legitimate concern for women with good jobs.

I very rarely meet a man my age who earns more than I do. It has been a big problem when dating because the men tend to resent it and/or feel intimidated, and I sometimes slip too easily into a very unsexy “provider” kind of role.

@SonataDentata likewise with my ex. Earnt more and he started to get used to me paying for most things. He stopped offering to pay and made promises to pay back. Never did.

It's difficult though because I keep finding negative traits my ex had in dates, therefore I might not be giving a good one a chance!

I'd definitely wouldn't say I earn alot anymore but I am careful with what I have, so it doesn't run out. Definitely have a more intellectual job and I hope that doesn't become an issue.
Yesterday, he asked me if we should go to the theatre (so keen to arrange our 2nd date)! That was a shock but promising because I love theatre and that ain't cheap. So maybe he's just being modest!
I've decided to hang around and see how he manages his finances. I will run the moment he asks me to pay for something for him. That will be my reality check.
I'm hoping he's stashing away 30% of his income each month and that is what's causing the cash flow issues. He's 32 with a heart of gold and a calming nature. Opposite to my self absorbed, social media obsessed ex.

Thanks @Northern

He deleted his tinder profile not long after matching with me after giving me his number.

He has told me he's looking for a relationship and that he is fussy who he dates. But he likes me and how open we are with each other.

Who isn't fussy who they date?

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you all have a good day, whether you're with family or on your own.

North don't text back. I haven't even considered it with my text from Mr Kayak, just because it's Christmas it doesn't make it right for them not texting at any other time. The only thin o was tempted to text back with was 'you snooze you lose' 🤣

Happy Christmas to everyone, hope you all get what and who you want for Christmas xxx

Happy Christmas to everybody!Hope you all have a lovely day x

Merry christmas

Merry Christmas. Did it. Sent him a Christmas message about half hour ago. Now I'm leaving it.

Merry Christmas everyone.

nicki I think you've done the right thing. Hopefully it's just that he's busy with family and will be back in touch very soon! I still find the not knowing and wondering hard though!

After the guy I was "seeing" dropped the bombshell last weekend about not wanting a relationship with anyone at the moment and proposed an open relationship, I've taken a step back to try and avoid getting too hurt. He's still been in touch this week, but less, and we haven't spoken on the phone like we normally do. I'm due to go and spend a couple of days with him the day after tomorrow so I think we'll chat more about things but I'm not holding out much hope that things will get back on track.
As a bit of a diversion, I also went back on the site just being curious. A lot of the same faces were there but I did unexpectedly start chatting to a couple of people. One.. .I'll call mrbike ....I actually ended up meeting for a coffee yesterday morning and we've actually arranged to go for a drink tomorrow evening. The other, mrteacher , seems really nice too so I'm just enjoying chatting at the moment and, although i still would ultimately like a relationship with the right person, am feeling quite relaxed about seeing how it all pans out.

Merry Christmas All x

Can I get an opinion please, I'm still chatting to MrPB, since early October, but only as friends, still haven't met again 🙄 anyway we've messaged this morning and he says he's had no presents, he lives with his elderly parents, and does a lot to help around the house etc. from what he says, I'm struggling to believe he didn't even get socks. He's also got two sisters. Does this ring true? Not even money in his card to get something? He's apparently been Christmas shopping twice this weekend so had gifts to give?

like it’s probably true, a lot of people don’t get gifts, a lot of people only buy for the children in their family. The guy I’m chatting too doesn’t really have any family so I don’t think he would have got many gifts either, he’s spending part of today with his step daughter (from previous marriage) so hopefully he will get a gift. I don’t get many gifts so I buy myself something 🤣

My exH turned out to be such a liar I'm constantly looking for lies unfortunately. Still seems harsh when your child (although an adult) lives with you and has no partner or children.

Merry Christmas

I've had a couple of 'merry Christmas' messages from randoms I was chatting to/men who ghosted/who knows who the hell they are because I deleted them - Matthew Hussey calls them MPI guys. I haven't been OLD for a year and a half Matthew's video on this is excellent!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

@like I think it is possible, if my DF hadn't bought me some new tyres and kids had not been with STBXH for 24 hours the other day and returned with a few gifts for me I would have had zero gifts for Xmas.

Having a good day, well was until an hour ago, when out of the blue Mr Italy sends a Merry Xmas Scotgal Whatsapp....would be so much easier id he had just ghosted me like I planned lol. I know I should ignore but might just say Merry Xmas back and leave it at that.....an if I come on here saying i've messaged to meet up with him give me a big slap round the head please!!! I'm just back from long walk in the woods with my fur babies, now putting pizza in the oven and popped the bottle of Prosecco.....phone is in my bedroom waaaayyy away from me so i don't drunk message anyone

@batshit, perfect timing for me for you to post that lol, thanks!! P.S. anyone know when they are going to clone Matthew Hussey??

He replied as soon as he saw it and wished me merry Christmas.

He has been unwell too with flu over the last week. He's just come out the other side.

love I totally remember Mr Kayak! How funny that he's reappeared then again I think I have earned the wooden spoon of men disappearing and reappearing

midcentury I'm so pleased for you! I cannot believe I finally found a single friend who it sounds like is about not to be single!

Lovely message rich. I also hope everyone had a lovely Christmas :)

I have managed to stay off all the apps which I'm pleased about and loving spending time with the dcs.

January I will start again with a vengeance!