Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

[subspace]

@stubborn I'd it were me I'd give the benefit of the doubt on that one, he could be joking as a way of making sure you're comfortable with his blindness?

Annoyed with myself for just sending another pleasant text to mr sporadic texts, because of course he hasn't replied and now I feel worse about myself

In lighter news, a man who is the spitting image of Jesus has shown up in my matches in hometown. Turns out, jesus is a stoner, with a massive spliff having from his lip! made me laugh before I unmatched him for being a general weirdo

[stubbornstains]

Hmmm...subspace, I have just looked through more of his FB timeline, and worked out that he does have a filthy and fairly hilarious sense of humour, with no apparent misogyny, and loads of female friends. So maybe I'll give him another chance. Based on what he replies to my message about not liking his joke, also.

I'm loving the Jesus one. Can't think of anybody I've seen equally amusing without being apparently mentally ill online.....apart from someone who seems to love slightly alarming, long pink socks to go walking in....but I'm chatting to that one, so what do I know!

[lannister]

Oh my days there's a new thread. Was looking for this. Now onto reading the 103 messages already posted

[BendyLikeBeckham]

Hey y'all! I haven't been on the thread for a few months. It's great to see some fantastic dating going on, and that the ongoing support is still here for everyone.

user1466783975 thanks for asking about me and Kin (end of thread 143). We've been together nearly 6 months now and it's going amazingly well. We are compatible in every way, and have so much in common. We spend every spare minute together, have met some of each other's DC, and I think we are both totally smitten!

I hope everyone here has a fabulous Christmas, whoever you spend it with, or whatever form it takes.

[TooOldForThis67]

@BendyLikeBeckham - great update!

[WarIsPeace]

I have already cancelled date no 2 as it turns out he has very specific preferences which I do not share
So that's freed up an afternoon 😁

Definitely glad I'm happy to bail out at any point, I was concerned I wasn't ruthless enough but now I think perhaps I am!

[gettingstherehopefully]

Ruthless is good, WarIsPeace.

[WotcherHarry]

@stubbornstains do you mind me asking me if you’re in the SW? Dated someone very similar and could tell you some stories if so

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Great update Bendy. Good to hear it's still going well.

I've got quite a lot of matches on Tinder at the moment but I'm visiting family for Christmas and really can't be bothered to try and keep up the messages. I could do with a general 'I'm offline for a bit' status. Oh well, if they can't wait a few days then it's their loss.

[WotcherHarry]

I haven’t posted on these threads for a while, though I’ve been lurking!

Went on a first date recently with a very intelligent, well read, funny guy. I’ll call him Mr Gent. We have planned in a date to see each other early in the new year as I went on holiday with the kids a few days after our date and he went back home for Christmas the day that we got back. He’s told me some fairly personal things in the interest of candour, which were appropriate for him to tell me and aren’t deal breakers at all. We’ve kept in touch, just a brief few texts each day, so I’ll see how about that goes...

I also went on a bit of a spontaneous first date yesterday. We’d only been chatting since the day before, normally I’d chat for a couple of days to get a bit of a feel for someone, not too long though! He seemed lovely - funny, kind etc. We spent several hours just chatting over coffee. However, he sort of delved into some personal stuff quickly, which was not really appropriate unlike Mr Gent, and also told me that he has been diagnosed with BPD in the last few years. He’s been very open and candid which I appreciate, but in all honesty I just don’t think that it’s a goer. He seems like a lovely bloke and I’m more than happy to potentially be friends with him, but a relationship isn’t where I’m pitching things.

[Koko12]

Just a quick update to say second date last night went really well.trying to cram in seeing each other where we can with family commitments over next few days.

[BendyLikeBeckham]

Thanks @TooOldForThis67 and @MyOldBrainStoppedWorking. He really is a decent man and I'm so happy

[Kin2]

We are compatible in every way, and have so much in common. We spend every spare minute together, have met some of each other's DC, and I think we are both totally smitten!

Yes. Yes, we are

[thelaststraw123]

Well date 6 was still great!

Both of us totally smitten, holding hands, general touching.


And then possibly had sex in his car oops!!! Xxx

[user1494066152]

I read this thread loads but don't often post as don't date much...

Had a first date last night... he's kind and gentle, nice looking and I think I def fancy him. He's shorter than I thought (bit of a shame but not really an issue) but we seem a little mismatched in jobs/career etc... I have a good career and still study to continue to progress, he's worked in retail forever and isn't a high earner (his words). He's not ambitious...

I earn enough to keep myself and don't want anyone for what they can give me, I'm not materialistic... but I do want someone who can afford to go out and have fun and have good in depth conversation etc (he may be able to) I dunno 🤷‍♀️

Am I over thinking? I think I am... he likes me and I will see him again... he's got great teeth!!!

Am I being silly?? 😬

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Just had a text from Mr Intense asking if I'm not speaking to him. He knows I'm away visiting family. And he can see my last seen so he can see I'm not online much.
His text arrived just as I was messaging my cousin, which made me wonder if he was stalking me a bit.
I replied that I was busy with family. Think I might have to ditch him soon.

[user1466783975]

kin and bendy that's lovely news.
user I would just go with the flow. I have the same sort of issues with men wanting to move in with me as I own (nothing big,just a small terrace) but it really has put me on my guard.
I have no career though and sometimes wonder if me working part time self employed puts career men off. I also have a son with asd. Neither seems to have so far :) so I would say just enjoy. As long as he can pay for the odd date and isn't wanting you to pay for everything!

[1stdatejiggyness]

@user1494066152 I have similar reservations with someone I'm dating too. Although not retail, he does talk about his job not paying well. Did yours offer to pay for a meal/ drinks? I think that's a good sign. Mine did but he asked me to wait for our first date to be on payday.
I'm more concerned that he lives with his parents and his barely managing his income. So I'm not sure how it would work if we were to get serious and consider moving in. He seems ambitious and is actively applying for higher paid jobs. Has a nice car. I've suggested waiting as he's been with his current employer less than a year.
Apart from that, we have this connection I haven't had with anyone in a long time. I said that connection/ great conversation was more important than anything but I'm not so sure now.
Lol re great teeth! I'm attracted to a good set too!

[lannister]

Just catching up with the thread. Yay for all those dates that are going smoothly. Can someone kindly point me to the 'celebrating christmas alone' thread

[user1494066152]

Thanks for the replies... he paid for our drinks, we were going to wait till after Xmas to meet but wanted to see each other sooner so was just a couple of drinks out.

I will def go with it for now... he has a mortgage etc so not destitute lol.

I'm just used to being around ambitious, driven men I think through work so it's just a different I think...

Will just see... it's all we can do isn't it 🤷‍♀️

[user1494066152]

Also if you flip it around plenty of guys take on women working part time or not working.. they also take on the cost of kids etc I wonder if they deliberate over it or just crack on and enjoy it...

[coolcahuna]

user, I've had better experiences with people with more low key jobs, they are around more as not travelling with work etc. As long as someone is independent then that's fine with me. And intelligence comes in lots of forms, i like quick wit and bantsr. One guy I dated who was a high flyer was hard work, found him competing with me and who can be arsed with that. that could just be him though, who knows.

I totally get the having another man in your bed to break the spell of the last ! I remember my fwb staying over 9 months after my break up and it felt amazing to break the spell!

[coldlocation]

Hello all. Lots of 'going well' stories. Can I have a tiny 'hooray'. Have had 7 dates with Mr PhD since we met for coffee on 7/12, he's slept over 3 times. He invited me to a night out he was dj ing at where I met some of his friends (and ran into school mums who knew his ex wife and kids) and we went to carols with another mate of his yesterday. He's just gone home and is off to see his kid for Xmas and I'm not now kid free until next weekend but seems like it's going well, he's cuddly and affectionate and talking about me meeting more of his friends etc. So very diff from my experience wth Mr BTO who kept me hidden. Lovely.

[midcenturylegs]

Just had a brunch date with someone I've been set up with. Proper chemistry.. he went in for a kiss which didn't really work - I don't think I read the signals properly!
But we've been messaging and have agreed that erm.. we both like each other. He's finishing a charity shift later tonight and then coming over. (DD with her Dad until lunch). Yikes - really scared - haven't DTD with anyone except my ex in 7 years (and the ex was absolutely shit in bed!).