Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I love the idea of squishing several irons together to make the perfect man 🤣

At the moment I don’t have any irons, no one is tickling my fancy on POF or Tinder, maybe I’m being fussy?

I think being fussy is fair enough really. Photos from this summer are pretty recent. OLD is full of people using decade old photos 😆

I agree that assembling the perfect man would be the best way to go for most people.

Meeting someone from your actual life is good @midcenturylegs, even if many miles away. Not being messed around has a great deal to recommend it.

@TwiceMagic if I could assemble the perfect man he wouldn't be that much different to the guy I'm dating.
Apart from his slightly dubious taste in music that is

shitwithsugar and Sidge - hark at you two! Lol. Enjoy it while you can

Went to docs this morning and am being referred to gynaecological cancer dept! Should get appt within 2 weeks. I don't think my Mum could face having another one in the family with cancer (Bro had it & Dad died), so I wont be telling her anything yet! Shame I kicked MrPara into touch, he might have been useful! Lol.
I guess there is no point in worrying until I have to.

Got a date lined up for tomz. Don't know whether to canx but don't want to explain why. Also got another couple of iron's. On the one hand, dating is the last thing I feel like doing but on the other, it could be a welcome distraction?

@TwiceMagic isn't he just. I followed it up this morning with a message saying I didn't think we were suited and wished him best of luck.
He came back with a tirade saying he couldn't be with somebody who was so touchy after he only asked a simple question!

Neexxtt...

@TooOldForThis67 sorry to hear about your referral. I’m hoping it’s mainly caution, as most postmenopausal bleeding is classed as potentially cancerous but IME it usually isn’t. But at least that way you get seen much more quickly than a regular Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding clinic.

Regarding your dates, I guess it’s what you feel comfortable with? Might take your mind off your pending appointment, but if you don’t feel like you’re in the right place headwise then maybe park them?

TooOld I will be keeping everything crossed for you. Everyone is different, but I think in your shoes I would want to carry on with the dating as a welcome distraction.

Re squishing multiple guys into one perfect guy - I had exactly this dilemma with Mr Cat and Mr Mad. I gave it time and came to realise that even though Mr Mad is far from perfect, there is at least a possibility of something deeper with him. Things with Mr Cat were never going to get any better, in fact they started reversing a bit - so at that point I knew and could effectively cut my losses with him without further agonising. It's an unsettling situation to be in, brought on by this multiple dating malarkey which I won't be trying again, but in the end it was a question of giving it time to allow the mists to clear and make a decision.

too old sending you lots of love and hugs at this tricky time x

Oh TooOld hugs to you. That's what happened to my friend - so it is probably as Sidge says. Dating might keep your mind occupied?

Can I join please?

I'm early 40s with junior school age kids and been single for nearly 2 years coming out of +20 year relationship/marriage.

I joined bumble and tinder beginning Nov. Have chatted to a few people but only had dates with 4 so far. I had a few dates with one of them but it didn't work out. I'm currently chatting with Mr sales and we've arranged to meet Thursday night. He's been quieter today though on WhatsApp than usual, which wouldn't normally bother me but this follows our first telephone conversation last night so now thinking that despite his messages after saying he enjoyed speaking with me he may have had second thoughts today. Time will tell I suppose. If he has had cold feet though I hope he tells me and doesn't just stand me up

Well I've just answered my own question. Looked on WhatsApp and his photo has disappeared so assume blocked and he's unmatched on tinder. How rude. He seemed so keen. Oh well. I have a night free now

Welcome Neverexpected and sorry you had your question answered in that way - at least you're not going to be stood up! It stings but Rule 6, and therefore Rule 2, in the OP apply. Next!

@never Such pathetic behavior on his part. Fancy not having the guts to say I've changed my mind. Total Wuss. Neither use nor ornament.

The blocking is just super pathetic. Like you'd hunt him down. Pratt from Prattville.

Thanks for the welcome

I'm a little disappointed in him. If he changed his mind he could have said. He even sent morning messages this morning with "x's" at end. Oh well

@Neverexpected2 it never fails to amaze me. You can waste loads of time trying to figure out why he might have done it but, its not worth it. You'll never know. Try to see it as a lucky escape because he's clearly not a nice chap.

Yeah I know you're right. Back to the drawing board

@tooold hugs to you, hopefully it's all just precautionary and as for the dating I would keep it going as a distraction.

@never what a coward. But onwards and upwards.

I'm having another shit day OLD wise today. Mr Wine on Tinder who disappeared mid conversation on Saturday evening sent me a "Hi " message this morning. Messaged back about an hour later...you guessed it no feckin response! ! Also, Mr Italy sent me a WA this evening. ...I'm hiding my phone and grabbing a book and I'm off to bed! !! Not tonight Satan!!

@shit how did it go with Mr Indie???

Thanks for your messages everyone. xx

It doesn't help that I had a really bad bleach job done on my hair , want to hide away! Defo not seeing anyone looking like this, lol. Will give it a couple of days and try going 'dirty blonde' - it's quite the thing apparently..
shitwithsugar - will you still see the other guy?

Advice please ladies -

What are your thoughts on the optimal amount of bio on a man's dating profile? Am I right in thinking there's a fine line between providing enough info to spark a conversation, and putting too much that something in it will put people off? What are the essentials to put in there, and what should I be keeping to myself until a rapport has been established?

A paragraph is fine. I hate lists of books/films/bands men are 'into' - I'm not a teenager, that we like exactly the same stuff is not a requirement!

I used to like a positive upbeat profile that gave me the sense of someone.

Yy remember that you are hoping to start a connection and appeal to a woman. I've seen a lot of profiles that might be good for finding a mate for the pub but nothing that appeals to me as a potential partner.

And no fishing pictures