Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

crappy You'll probably still do better than the bloke who's profile I've just read. Potential partners need to have no children living at home because he doesn't need the hassle, be happy to have sexy twice a day ever day, enjoy physical contact in public and must not complain about him being unemployed. BUT ladies never fear, he is an unselfish lover.

Sex not sexy, he's definitely not sexy 🤣

lol @crappy

@likeriding, get in there, what are you waiting for??? What a catch!!!

Hi everyone, I'm new to this thread. I recently started online dating again a few weeks ago. I've met three guys so far on first dates, one said he thought we were too similar so said it wasn't going to work out, fair enough. The other two guys asked for a second date.

One of the guys, I'll call him Mr Runner, I'm meeting tomorrow for the second date. All seems to be going well so far with him. I fancy him quite a bit and I think he likes me too. Have to see how it goes tomorrow!

The other guy who wants a second date I met today for the first date. I'll call him Mr Money (he's an accountant). The date today was good, we met up for a coffee, it seemed to be going well and it was lunchtime so he asked if I wanted to go for lunch so we did and it was nice. We got on quite well I suppose, the date was about 2.5 hours in the end and I didn't feel there was any awkwardness. He's what I'm looking for on paper, I'm not sure if there is enough physical attraction there for me at the moment. I think I could grow to really like him though. The only thing is when he messaged asking for another date he suggested spending the day together in the Lakes. Well, from where I live the Lakes are about 1hr 30 by car. I don't have a car at the moment, he knows this and that I got the bus to where we met. The journey to where we met took me an hour, for him a 30 min car journey. It's not even like he would be picking me up on the way to the Lakes because he lives an hour closer to the lakes than I do! Then I messaged him saying it was too far for a second date when we don't know each other. He then agreed it probably was too far to go to the Lakes but then suggested another two places, both of which would take me 2 hours to get to on public transport. He says I'm the first girl he's met online so far. Normally my second dates have just been a meal or drink somewhere, not spending the whole day together. I can't help thinking that he's not considering me in the places he's suggesting. I don't know how to reply to him, he's asked what I think about going to one of the other 2 places. I don't really get why he's picked them when I told him my issue with the first place was that it was too far.

I have another couple of guys I've been chatting to but not met up with them yet.

@flowers32 he's clearly just not thinking! Its a bit inconsiderate though. I would just be straight up with him and remind him you don't drive so it needs to be somewhere closer to you - maybe you should just suggest somewhere?

Thanks, do you think spending the whole day together on a second date is a bit much?

Personally yes I do. You don't have to say that, you could be diplomatic and just say you can't manage a whole day (due to other commitments) but how about *suggestion here

@scotgal2017 I like it but that's probably because it sounds just like my profile!

Considering most guys admit to not reading profiles anyway I'd keep it as is

@likeridingabike LOL I can't actually believe that someone wrote that as their profile.
@Flower32 honestly him suggesting 2 locations that are very far after you've already explained to him would just put me off him, because it shows he is just not paying attention or needs geography lessons

Lannister I know I've seen some shockers but he gets the prize for the worst, he lives very close to me 🤭

scotgal it does read like a lot of men’s profiles - a bit angry, bitter and sad ie written in a bad mood! And a bit long. Shorter, more positive but still completely honest perhaps?

I recently read a profile for a guy who looked nice. He was 36. It said in capital letters at the bottom NO-ONE OVER 36 PLEASE.
I mean, really?

@crappyday2018 I read one where he sounded perfectly normal and looked quite average but at the bottom of his profile it said 'please don't be a lardass'

@Eesha WOW, I have no words haha

@scotgal2017 - you sound like me but I agree with others, drop the first paragraph, otherwise great!
@Flower32 - I'd msg him back suggesting a couple of places near to you. Maybe he's thinking it's a long way for you to travel so to make it worth your while, factoring in a whole day?

Mr Para and I are still on but I'm msg another guy who I'll call MrBike and we've been WhatsApping all day!! I like a guy who can chat from serious to silly. Problem is he's an hour's drive away but doesn't mind doing all the travelling. If it does get off the ground, I'd get bored ending every date here.

Another new joiner please 😊
Have been reading a bit but too scared to write as I don’t think I’m as confident as you lot..

December seemed to go mad on Tinder. Loads of matches, a few didn’t message, a few dropped off after a couple of messages, then finally had 3 dates this week.
Mr Young somehow slipped through my radar at 10 years younger but we got chatting and he seemed so nice that I ignored his age (not looking for a life partner anyway)
First date he told me he has a deep fantasy for me to put him over my knee naked and spank his bottom til he was begging for mercy.... I’m no prude - but is this really first date stuff these days?
Second date admits he still lives with his wife but assured me they have separate rooms... I’m really not going there and starting anything based on lies
Third, today, gorgeous. MrSuperfit. Lots of flirting by text first, really great date, messages after if I’d like to meet again, read my reply of yes then ignored me.
God this is tough!!

@Backtothelist congrats on getting 3 dates in 1 week. You're doing way better than me! Your first date is hilarious, he's not shy is he? I take it you didn't fancy giving him a spanking?
You are right to avoid the second one. That sounds like way too much trouble. Why on earth is he still living with his wife??
Its also typical that the one out of the 3 you really liked has gone quiet. Hopefully he will reply soon. Remember he's possibly talking to other women too.

Yep I’m sure he is talking to more people. As am I...
It’s just learning to develop that thick skin.
As for first - hmm not really. Maybe further down the line but not over a first drink.... maybe I’m more of a prude than I thought I was!!
Give me a few months of this and I may change my mind though

Has this happened to anyone on Bumble!
On Bumble earlier this evening I matched with a guy, I messaged him and he replied immediately. We were chatting for 3 hours straight when all of a sudden a message popped up on screen saying the match had expired. Anybody ever seen this or know why?
I've screenshotted below and contacted Bumble also

How weird @Indie. Never seen that before. If he had unmatched you I think the conversation would have just disappeared.
Hope Bumble can help you if you liked him

IndieTara I had that happen recently. I wasn't that bothered about the match so I just left it.
It will be interesting to see what Bumble say.

My experience of Bumble has been mixed. Some nice blokes on it but the notifications are rubbish. It randomly decide if it would tell me if I had matches or messages. I'm sure some matches disappeared because they thought I wasn't interested.

Morning folks, looking for advice. the guy that in my post yesterday i said had vanished after initial conversation on Tinder 2 days ago (will call him Mr Wine) messaged me last night. He had (quite rightly) been spending day with his daughter. we had a conversation for around an hour which ended with me just making a normal statement, expecting him to reply.Like the first conversation the first night, he went quiet....so our conversations are not ending with "good night, I have to go, speak later etc", they are just ending like someone disappeared mid conversation!

I like the look of this guy, when we have talked it flows, is it normal to just disappear?? (I have done it myself but only once or twice, normally I /the other person end the conversation). Also he lives about an hour away and life is about to get busy again but would like to make the time to meet him in person for coffee. I wonder how to word it? Should I say fancy a coffee next week (which gives him a chance to say no lol) or should I say we SHOULD meet for coffee next week lol.

scotgal that style of communication drives me mad. He’s done it twice now, it’s how he is. Sure it’s worth continuing?

scot that also drives me nuts, I have had a few irons like that, just vanish mid conversation, it’s not hard to say “I’m off to bed now, talk tomorrow” ?

After Mr Italy who wouldn't communicate for up to 5 days, it is an improvement lol. I thinkI'll just leave it and see if he gets in touch, if not, he's obviously not that interested!!!!

Next!! lol