Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

25 mile round trip, and she's not there. Very mature
XH is waiting for a bit and I have attempted to text her...

@crappyday2018 no he looked like his pics so all good there. He seemed much more confident when texted online so maybe it was nerves. But he told me lots of dating tales of things men he knew had done to women which really put me off him. Running out in them in restaurants and leaving them with bill, driving off and leaving them places that kind of thing. He thought it was hilarious, I clearly didn't

indietara what is with these men? How awful for those women!

So I have a date tonight, with someone who I met through work. We've been whatsapping for a while now - at first I wasn't too keen, he was very forward but he is growing on me! Will see how I feel after tonight.

I've gotta say being off the apps has made me so much happier! No pressure to be finding someone etc feel like I can breathe!

£70 to replace those bloody boots

IndieTara - that’s a shame and his tales definitely sound off putting!

I also had a date today. I was really looking forward to it but didn’t particularly feel a spark ...it was just a bit meh... we had lots to talk about and although he seemed nervous he was pleasant enough. He said about meeting up again soon for something ‘less vanilla’ , he suggested food out one evening. Being polite I just agreed , not committed to when though. I didn’t feel that I fancied him that much but people I usually really fancy straight away tend to be bad for me...so what do I do? Should I bother meeting him again and see if he grows on me a bit or just sack it off?

@Nellyphantastic123 less vanilla would intrigue me so I'd say go for it.

Well my 2nd date for today has just finished, not sure what to make of it. He was nice and easy enough to talk to but it all felt a bit formal.
He did say he'd text me later so we will see.

Beginning to think the wording on my profile for POF/Tinder might need re-worked as i think it comes ove quite agressive lol. Anybody mind if I paste it here for feedback??

Do it @scotgal2017

Yes I''d like to read it too as we have the same sense of humour!

Has anyone done the sexting thing? I mean literally just a 'sexting' thing with someone on OLD with no intention of meeting.
I did it once before and I actually really liked it. I have another potential but I do sometimes wonder 'what am I doing at my age'??

@crappy, yes I've done it, guy on Tinder had the pleasure of my inner sexual goddess one night after I'd had a bottle of wine lol.

here is my profile wording on POF, i wrote it when i was still pissed off with Mr Cheekybanter/Mr Italy and sicl of dick pics etc lol.

on POF: "Not looking for ONS, hook ups, casual sex, swapping photos, sex chat etc. Also please do not send me certain parts of your anatomy!! if you do not live locally, it won't work for me so please do not message me!

Mother of 2 loves walking and travelling when she gets the chance. Circumstances mean that my social life is sporadic but I will make time for the right person. Quite independent but looking for a relationship for fun times and adult conversation/company.

New to dating but have had my eye opened to what is out there the last few months and so you need to be able to impress! Looking for someone down-to-earth, respectful, caring, kind with a good sense of humour."

On Tinder, which I only rejoined yesterday/day before, I have taken out first paragraph, but it's basically the same (I added in a sentence saying extra brownie points if you like dogs, and added at the end of the last paragraph not interested in hookups/NSA etc)

Please be brutally honest lol

Scot i wouldn't kick off the profile with all the things you don't want as it comes across a bit pissed off and angry. I would start off with what you do want from them. And maybe not say you'd make time for the right person. If you find someone you gel with you can have that conversation early on - I.e I can be quite busy but I'll make time to meet me you as I like you. More positive

I also get why you started it the way you did as there are so many depressingly horrible arseholes out there but whatever you write those men will still find you, they don't bother to read profiles anyway. They just look at your photos

shit at some point you will have to chose 🤣, I think it’s ok to multi date but once I have dtd with someone it just feels wrong to date others (unless we have decided to just be FWB).

crappyday I have sext a few people, several I had no intention of meeting, meeting someone after sexting is just a bit awkward. I had a great sexting session with Mr Hippie, I think this is why I was so disappointed when I met him (the sexting was better than the real thing).

No dates for me this weekend so I have taken on a shift at work tomorrow as I am child free (might as well earn some extra money). At the moment I don’t feel that comfortable arranging a date, I feel like I have put on weight over Christmas and would like to get back into shape a bit before meeting anyone so back to the gym next week.

@scotgal2017 I actually think its good. Why beat around the bush? You could change the sentence about living locally to just say 'I'd prefer guys local to me only' or something a bit softer.
Also, its fairly long and I very much doubt most men even read it. For a start, mine says 'please do not message if you have no profile pic' and what do you think I get loads of? haha

@shit yeah I know where you are coming from, that's why I said i think it's coming across as quite aggressive lol. I had War & Peace on POF last time which was softer and very open and I ended up with twats......I think when I wrote it this time the walls were up. Will see what others say and will reword tomorrow, thanks for the input

as for the multiple dating, just go with it. They do it, so why shouldn't we? If it's early days and you are not exclusive it's fine to do it IMO.

Pissed off today as Mr Z had messaged last night to say we would arrange date for this late afternoon/evening as he was in another city. I said no problem, he said he would confirm time at lunchtime-ish today. Not heard a peep about anything from him all day and i can see he has been online. he seemed nice as well but that's just taking the piss.

Started chatting to a guy on Tinder last night, he's disappeared as well, and one that I matched with this morning disappeared 10 minutes later from matches so assume unmatched. Consoling myself with pizza, beer and a box of After 8s. Screw men lol. P.S. won;t be re-writing my profile this evening woth this state of mind lol.

scotgal my profile is similar, I think it’s honest and kind of states that I’m won’t take any shit, sadly most people that message me don’t even read my profile so it’s often a waste of time, occasionally I will get someone who has read it.

Well I'm ill so it's not happening, but new iron wanted to meet up tonight!

@daniel, thanks for the input, it was definitely written in the wrong frame of mind

@crappy that's actually a lot shorter than the one I had on the first time round lol. Yeah, just shows they aren;t very good at reading comprehension doesn;t it?

shit Yes creepy, anyone who asks about my child age, sex etc. early on gets an immediate amber flag.

@love, yes it's a sad fact it's pretty pointless writing anything as 99% of them don't read it. I could write Im a psychotic axe murderer or anything on there and most of them wouldn't even know lol.

I think the concesus is my message is still valid in what I write it just needs to be worded in a softer, more positive way lol.

I have a iron who I have been in contact with for a while but have not met due to not having spare time when he has spare time, he’s hardly ever online so messaging is really slow, I really like him, mainly because he looks like a singer from a certain band that I like. I need to try and arrange meeting him, I’m not sure why it’s proving so tricky as he lives very close by. I know I will probably be disappointed when I meet him and he’s nothing like the band member.

@scotgal2017 for a laugh I might change my profile to read 'Utter drama queen psycho who expects you to pay for everything'
See what responses I get haha