Gosh, I've just been catching up on the last few days; I think we all deserve a medal!
So, after my month-long WhatsApp-ing and phoning man came over from Paris for the weekend and I gently told him after 24 hours together that I needed to be alone (I wasn't feeling it although we did get on pretty well) I felt very calm and glad I'd handled it as well as possible. (BTW LoveMusic, he was a smoker too and, now I'm fifty and having just lost a cousin to lung cancer aged 55, I'm not as relaxed about dating a smoker as I was a couple of decades ago).
I went out with one of my closest friends last night; he's gay and he wanted to introduce me to his new boyfriend. We were having a fab night and suddenly one of his friends came and introduced himself to me; I assumed foolishly he was gay too. We all had a drink together and then my friends left simply because they could see that not-gay-at-all friend wanted to spend some alone time with me. He's 45, African, and a philosophy professor. He was a funny mixture of coming on strong and peaceful. We ended up talking, walking and kissing and he asked me for my phone number. He suggested coming over to my house the following evening to cook dinner with me which I politely declined. Today we've exchanged quite a few messages. He's definitely coming on pretty strong!
TBH I can see myself being friends with this man although he is bloody amazing physically. But, it was so wonderful meeting someone 'in real life' without expecting it. I think that's what we nearly all want, isn't it?
I'd appreciate a little advice. I met OLD a man in August. He's great. Every time we saw each other we got on really well. He'd admitted that he was afraid of getting into a serious relationship again as he is worried about becoming insecure again. I was grateful for his honesty but backed off because I don't want to be someone's hook-up.
However, over the past few weeks I've been impressed by how kind and patient he's been with me. I pushed him away a bit at the beginning and cancelled a lunch and cinema date he'd suggested before Christmas because I was ill and every time he's been understanding and downright sweet about it. He's initiated contact every time and has invited me out and got in touch to confirm place and time. We went out January 1st and it was really lovely. We see eye to eye on a lot of stuff, he invited me to the restaurant, let me choose the film and cuddled me at the cinema. We kissed each other a lot too.
I've been honest I don't want casual sex, he's been honest he wants to sleep with me but has respected the fact I haven't yet. We're both very attracted to each other but he's not pressurising me.
His parting words after our date were 'see you soon and I'm waiting for you to suggest the next date next time round'.
Do you think I should carry on with this (it's a case of slowly and surely, I think) or just not bother because he'd admitted to being scared of getting into a serious relationship again?
Thank you so much and sorry this is SO long!