Me and the man I am dating for the last few months both work in a similar industry, with slightly different jobs and completely different disciplines within that industry. He is paid better as he had been doing in a few years longer and he came from money. Let's call him John. That's the background.
This issue is not all job based, but it is the job thing that frustrates me most, so I will start with that. Obviously in real life I wouldn't say this (!!) but I am an intelligent woman and I have done well for myself. I love a good debate and learning new things and will always say if I don't know or understand something - I know I'm not stupid so I am comfortable doing this. John however thinks he knows everything about everything, including my job. Even when it is completely and utterly wrong. Last night he made a comment about how general people believe x and it is just crazy because it is so wrong. This is my 'area' of specialism and so I said actually it is like that, but the exception is y - not what he had said at all. He laughed at me in a sort of mocking way and just said "sweetheart it really isn't." He usually calls me sweetheart so that's normal but it felt hugely patronising.
I was furious! Luckily the food came that moment and I chose to not go into it as we have had real friction in the past over this sort of thing.
This happens regularly. I got into my job without any contacts, he got in through his Dad. This means he has essentially had all doors open to him from day 1 and (dare I say it!) he is intelligent but I often feel he doesn't always think about things with an open mind and often misses the point. I came from a privileged background too, but my (ridiculous) views from my early twenties are long gone - for instance he still thinks all homeless people are to blame for being homeless (you cant even discuss the wider possibilities here) and he blames my closest friend for never having a better paid job (she could work harder in fairness but equally she has not had anywhere near the opportunity me and him have had). These were views I had when I just left school - very narrow minded. They are not views I hold now and I can listen to another's point of view and properly consider it.
He thinks he knows everything. The drive between my house and his (I had done it nearly 50 times before he did - and he told me i was going the wrong way as his sat nav didn't go that route...obviously I am not an idiot and after so many times I had worked out the quickest route...)
Other times we will be chatting about something and I will mention a fact of interest about the topic where appropriate and he will exclaim "that's right! Well done sweetheart!" I honestly don't think he means to be rude here but I find it insulting.
The feminist point...he's made comments about men being better in his area than the women, it is "just a fact" because "women are too emotional." I think this may have stemmed from a chat we had once where I had said i think women can be emotional at work more than men (at least i can be!). However, saying women are not as good at their job as a general rule is rather different I think? (He's never criticised me and my ability).
What do you think? Am I being total idiot? Happy to hear that if that's the view...thanks for reading :)