Dating Thread 143 Can Anybody Find Meeeee Somebody to Love!

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Hi anyone give some advice.

Been on 3 dates with a lovely guy but what puts me off is he's rather short and skinny too. I like a big strong male!

He's sweet, kind, makes me laugh and obviously likes me but I'm sooo

Trying to see if he grows on me...

@dontsay once I was asked for a full length picture a few hours before the agreed date. I'd arranged a babysitter and everything. I sent one. Minutes later, he sent me a message saying that I wasn't his type but he wishes me well...
OUCH!!! OLD is brutal! So if you're gonna ask, ask early on (if it's that important to you) or swipe left and don't waste my time!

@Dontsayyouloveme London/SE I'm afraid

Yep you hit the nail on the head with the let's chat at least thing, I mean it isn't hard to have a conversation without asking for more photos to see if there's anymore chemistry there.

eesha no I don’t have a full length pic up no. I just don’t like full length pics, or any pics if I’m honest. When I’ve met guys they’ve said I have a great figure, I’m a slim, petite, size 12 just not massively confident. I think I just expect men to want skirts, dresses and high heels, but I’m a jeans and converse girl most of the time! But maybe I’ll take a token one to humour the superficial ones out there! Thanks x

Asking for selfies I think is ok; a lot of people will want to see if your other pics are up to date. So many men and women use old photos.

A full length I would say would be to gauge height and weight.

It is all a bit cattle market, but sadly I think alot people lie on OLD.

When my profiles were active; I had several photos ranging from a week old to 2 years old and a full length

In the old days prior to OLD, and I'm old enough to remember the old days, one would approach somebody in person having already checked them out. So that was all done before talking to them. OLD is different because we get to exchange info to various degrees before meeting.
If somebody asks you for a full length pic I think that's up to you. You could always ask for one of them in return. If they decide not to meet on that basis then you've saved yourself time and hassle.
Personally , I've never asked for a full length pic as I tend to go on personality and gut feel. Each to their own I guess.

1stdate that’s harsh! Think I’d have given them a piece if my mind after all the hassle you had gone to be go out. But, you wouldn’t want to date someone like that anyway so best they show their hand early on I suppose.

Waitingformrhardy yes you’re right, people do lie on OLD. But I can’t help thinking is still shallow. Like you, I go by their pics and then by their chat or lack of hahaha.

Richdanerio Shame, but we’ve great train service from Manchester to London! Only joking! 😂😂

Thanks for all of the replies... it’s given me some food for thought x

Good luck also in this mad crazy world of OLD.

pink - If his height and weight really matter then maybe he's not the one for you. We can't help our personal preferences. My MrPara is only a couple of inches taller than me but he's so lovely and good looking that it doesn't matter. I'd rather he was like he is and not the other way round iyswim!

I quite like seeing a full length pic but I would never ask for one. I guess that is a bit shallow but if you prefer a certain body type, best to know upfront . I've got a full length one on mine just to avoid that request and they know what to expect then.

I told the ranty guy I was going to leave things here after our odd chat and he sent a nice message back saying he has mixed wine with his medication hence the odd texts and he understood . So feel ok about that and for being upfront and honest rather than fading away.

I've had the full length pic request too. Honestly find it a bit insulting and gives me the impression that you're very superficial and only looking for a hookup. My biggest bug bear though is a blank profile! Why oh just why do men do this. What am I supposed to go on to decide whether to swipe. One guy told me because he couldn't be bothered! How lazy and arrogant in my opinion.

Wotcha everybody! I'm wondering if anybody has had any positive experiences with guys who are a bit rubbish at texting? I'm not looking for essays but we can be exchanging texts and he goes quiet for a few days, then picks up again. He's suggested and arranged 5 dates, I have to presume he's actually interested...

@subspace the problem with us guys is that we have a short attention span. But on a serious note, it depends on where your thing is at. I've been accused of being non-attentive because I haven't messaged for a few days . And this is from someone I haven't even met yet. Others have been totally fine. Depends what you're own motives are I guess.

Gosh no I couldn't be doing with accusations abut non-attentiveness, especially if you haven't met yet! We're 5 dates in, it's always been like this and I guess in the back of my mind is a worry that I'm an unwitting OW but in fairness it's christmas and he's got kids and it sounds hectic. And I was the worst for it at the beginning anyway guess I'm just trying to work out if it means anything, but am probably just being a stereotypical overthinking woman!

I'm not sure what the acronyms all mean but I think I know what OW means. If you are 5 dates in over a reasonably short space of time and he's always been like this then he's either travelling a lot, busy, or absent minded (like me), then I think you are right to have at least an amber flashing light

cool the date was with Mr Scouse. I had a nice time and we had a cheeky snog in the car park 🤣

I'm away atm and a guy I was chatting too on and off for a while has asked me to take a selfie with nice views in the background.
Erm no. I hate selfies plus it's so hard to take them.
Massive red flag for me.
I just lol d at his request.

Crashed and burned here. Had a thing set up with a match I know IRL, he bottled it. Except I know he's quite keen

Oh well, onwards and upwards
Chatting to a couple of options but neither are for me

Pink, hoping he grows on you? I’m laughing a little bit. I don’t mind height, I’m short, my new iron is 6ft 6 and I and 5ft 2

I think I’ve got a talker! Arranged to meet last week and he cancelled, has said this week and mentioned Sunday but no more details on if it’s happening or not. I’m thinking of arranging to go out with my mate Saturday instead, can’t do both and don’t want to stay in all weekend for something that might not happen. Thing is if I do he isn’t back for another 6 weeks and we’ve already been texting every day a lot for 3 weeks.

Would you lot have expected a commitment to the date considering it’s now Wednesday or am I being too organised/straight, which I have a tendency to be. I don’t want to ask again!

He wanted to come off OLD and just focus on one person which I’m ok with but not going to hold off forever.

@Leatherandsilk
Ask him tell him you are planning your weekend and need to know

I had a coffee date yesterday with a potential FWB. There was immediate chemistry and spark. But afterwards he sent a message saying that he's deleting his Tinder profile as he doesn't believe in multi-dating.

Neither do I (mainly because I don't get many offers of dates), but I've only spent an hour with him, so that seems a little over the top. And this morning I'm getting 'heart' emojis and kisses.

Now I'm not sure what to do. I did fancy him, a lot. And it was clear he felt the same. But I'm not used to someone being so up front about how they feel after such a short time. And it's making me nervous.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking - a bit full on after a coffee date! Does he know you were looking for a fwb?

@shitwithsugaron that's awful - hope you blocking him gets a message across to his tiny brain...

midcentury yes knows I just want FWB. He's still living with his ex and can't move out any time soon. I know why but can't post on here but he was up-front about it and we discussed it more yesterday.

So he can only do FWB at present. I suspect this is just lust talking and he will be one of those 'shag and disappear' type blokes.
The whole FWB thing is new to me, so I'm just confused by his motives at the mo.