Dating Thread 143 Can Anybody Find Meeeee Somebody to Love!

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Haven't posted for a while. Spent the last two weeks looking through pof and feeling a bit low with it all. Seeing lots of people viewing your profile and not sending a message is shit! Or messaging and them vanishing after we get some sort of raport going. So sent out some random one liners and one guy messaged back,we arranged a date for today but he cancelled this morning. I said fine and left it but he seems keen and asked for a meet tomorrow. I decided to raise my standards and asked him to call me tonight which has just done! Seems really sweet. I said would he mind if we met for an hour tomorrow which he didn't really understand as I said I have a free eve,but i'm so used to meeting and there being no spark, it terrifies me. I don't think i'm a challenge enough for the attractive ones. one date last year told me he likes to be kept on his toes and another said he didn't think I was 'naughty enough'. I'm 47 and like my thermals and bed socks ffs.

rich hope you're ok. Once you start getting doubts it's sometimes hard to keep it going

Usually I don't fancy many of my dates,but the few ones I do,seem to be the players. This one tomorrow seems to love the gym and has suspiciously white teeth! I haven't been to a gym in 20yrs and cut my own hair !!!

user I do wonder if we women being attracted to the players is because they are naturally charismatic and perhaps part of their skill in being players is that they’re able to ‘fabricate’ a spark with almost any woman?🤔

Hey all, first off thanks for all the replies and apologies if I make no sense, I've just got back from my work Xmas party and I've had far too many :) but I wanted to reply especially as you've all made the effort to mention me and believe it or not it does mean something to me.

I just wanted to say that the last thing I would ever want to so is lead anyone on and I hope/think you all know that - I'm going to tell her tomorrow as I've read all your responses and I know that being the guy who keeps it going for longer than necessary is not a good thing for anyone.

Also I'm going to be honest, I know some of you are familiar with my story and crap that I've posted here, I'm not over my ex. I don't know how I'm going to get over her but I am trying. I loved her and seeing her with someone else like I saw yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks :( if I'm completely honest, I just wish I could be normal but I just can't seem to get past it. I know I will eventually but even now, 5-6 months on I'm not :( I just hope sooner or later I will.

Also I just want to apologise as I know that my crap and what I went through is nothing really in grand scheme of things... I know it was just a 4-5 month fling and many of you have been through far worse than that. I don't want you all to think bad of me and I was just looking for advice really with my situation.

Hey Rich.
It sounded like you had an amazing first 3/4 dates.
What happened on the last couple of dates?

rich 5-6 months on is nothing for a relationship that really was important to you. I still think of some of my relationships I had from a long time ago. And it really took me 2 years to get over my marriage/divorce. I saw people in that time but I wasn't myself until that point. Don't be hard on yourself. These things take time and you are making progress. It may feel slow but it is progress. You know a lot more about yourself than you did months ago. And you always miss the exes when you're pissed ;). That's life.

stubborn I think it's fine but I think we have to be aware of what we are doing. Sometimes we talk to people because it stops us feeling bored or alone even if we know they are not the right people for us. But I think we should try and tell them that - that we're happy being friends but don't want anything else. Otherwise, they could be thinking that we are interested when we aren't etc. But some people are slow burners and talk a lot before getting interested so maybe that works for you?

like just be honest. Say thanks very much but I don't think I'm feeling it, really sorry or something like that. Or say nothing and let it drift. It's so early on it isn't like ghosting.

Hey rich be kind to yourself break ups are hard no matter how long the relationship was for.

You might want to think about stepping back from dating? Although it's a great distraction you could find yourself again enjoying a woman's company but not feeling you can go ahead with it

Maybe a FWB would fill that gap so to speak

You sound like a lovely man and you'll make a great boyfriend. But you have to look after yourself first before that can happen

Yes Rich it takes as long as it takes. I'm still not over a two date thing and ghosting. It really does haunt me. This was back in September too!! I'm just going with the flow and being honest. Either take a break or increase your options. Love to see such honesty in a man (not meant to be sexist - it is reassuring). 😊

user - are you still going on your quick date and how will you play it if you like him, still leave early?
rich - sorry you're going thro that with your ex.

Just my luck. Child free tonight and no date! I blew out MrHard for MrPara but he's now told me he has a cold and a coldsore and I'm like, no thanks. I was nice about it. So he's tried to call me and sent msgs saying hopes to re-schedule soon, not to give up on him and can I call him back. He works shifts so defo wont see him til after xmas, hardly seems any point.
Hey ho, serves me right for being a player!
Anyone up for Scrabble tonight? Lol.

Date night for me tonight

TooOld I think I just need to chill. And go with the flow. Maybe let down my wall abit and if I like him (and he me) carry on through the eve?

I watched the millionaire matchmaker today! One woman was told to let down her guard and stop being so in control of everything...was asked are you the pilot or the co pilot? As there can not be two pilots! Really she wanted a man to take control. To anyone else
she looked like she had her shit together. Could be me lol. I think I need to just stop being so assertive,looking for red flags before even meeting the poor guy and just go with it. Be sweeter and warm like I used to be!

mollysgirl - hope your date goes well.
user - yes, go with the flow. Remember, loo update is mandatory!

I've decided not to look on OLD btw now and Xmas. I will give MrPara a call lateras I've nothing else to do.

Well the bloke I was thinking about letting down gently this morning turned out to be a twat, so I'm ironless, still got MrPB for a pen pal. I'm not sure I'll bother until new year now (I've said that several times already and can't resist a swipe).

Think this is gonna be the dtd date 😬🤭
Currently wearing a bra that you’d need a degree in structural engineering to get into

Here goes nuthin!

riding - lets see who gives in first, lol.
molly - so not a first date then. Perhaps an update in the morning then!

mr white teeth just called to say his car wouldn't start and he's been out in the rain and dark for an hour! But the football crowds are coming out and someone lent him jump leads and its ok now. I thought he was calling to cancel,but phew,he was just filling me in. Still on for 6.30.
No loo update though as i'm still nokia woman!

user - he must be keen, to let you know what's happening, even if he isn't going to be late!

Had a brief call with MrPara. He genuinely has a cold, could hear it in his voice. He's asked for a 2nd chance even tho I was the one that said no thanks to seeing him tonight. Date set for Wednesday.
I msg MrWow to see how he's getting on, no reply yet. I blocked and deleted MrSolid. On my 2nd glass of vino now.

Hello, I hope you don't mind me joining this thread. I have been reading the threads for a little while now.
I am just dipping my toe into the world of OLD. I'm finding matches slightly more difficult to get as I'm seeking women only. Having had two relationships with men since the age of 17, I've had enough of them and would like to seek a relationship with a woman (I am bi and have not hidden that from anyone).
The trouble with the matches I am making is that most don't mention anything on their bio yet when chatting it turns out that are already partnered up and looking for a threesome. I don't fancy that right now!
I currently have one iron that I'm chatting to but due to the Xmas period, pinning down a date is quite difficult. Such a shame as I'd love to meet her.

Can anyone recommend any sites that are aimed mainly at women? I've had a look at pink Cupid but it seems like it caters more for those in the US.

Date number 4 with mrMechanic tonight. Going out for Mexican.

He gives me butterflies and I feel so excited before meeting him.

His texts make me feel warm and fuzzy 🤢 sorry I know it's vomit inducing!

I walk around with a massive smile on my face when I think of him.

I haven't even dtd with him yet! What's wrong with me?

The good thing is, is that the feeling appears to be mutual 🤞🏻

thelaststaw - Oh you lucky girl! Have a great evening.
jelly - no advice really but like anyone looking for someone, you come across alsorts on OLD.

Thanks all for the replies. I do feel that I am ready to date and the time off I took from it a couple of months ago did help me move on a fair bit. I guess what hit me a bit was seeing the photo of my ex with someone new.

I guess it did confirm in a way that she probably was seeing someone else in the final month that we were together as I suspected. I guess what hurts now is not the fact that I am not with her but the speed in which she was able to move on from me and seemingly get into a new and serious relationship with such ease and that is the likely reason she hasn't reached out to me at all since ending it. Of course I want her and her kids to be happy but I guess it hurts also that I meant so little to her and that our relationship was just a fling to her. I know it's only Facebook but it kind of stung seeing her on holiday with him as she has obviously moved this relationship on very quickly for him to not only have met her kids but going abroad with them too - one of the reasons she cooled things with me was that she told me her eldest daughter was having a hard time with the divorce and to introduce them to a new man after only a few months may mean she lied to me about that and used it as an excuse. I know I'm overthinking and over analysing it all though, it's just my nature I guess.

Hopefully though seeing this will give me some sort of closure.

@unique I guess the first few dates went so well because I was just amazed it got to a second date which rarely happens for me so I was over excited by it all.

@waiting A fwb would be ideal at the moment . Hard to find that though especially being a guy I guess.

Hi rich. I'm stalking the thread tonight! I think your ex's new man has probably got a bit of cash and that has influenced the speed of everything? Seriously tho, I think you seeing that pic is a good thing. Closure. You know she's moved on. You are too, although slower. I remember viewing your profile (when you asked for advice) and you seemed quite a catch!
Have you told your current girl it's not working yet?