Dating Thread 143 Can Anybody Find Meeeee Somebody to Love!

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I've exchanged a few messages with this bloke, not my type physical but seems nice and he's local. I sent him a message, basically, why don't we meet for a drink sometime and exchange notes on dating. I got a reply "I'm sure we can exchange numbers and chat about it lol" why can't they meet for a casual drink without loads of messaging?

war is peace glad to hear OLD is going well for you!

The hardest thing is trying to find out a mans intentions with they do something twatish! Or the dreaded ghosting!

My advice would be to (try!) Not to overthink it leads to madness! A good rule of thumb is if you're enjoying yourself stay and if not then leave.

I'm quite happy so far

Definitely don't need a bloke it'd be a nice added extra so not feeling any pressure

It's been a nice ego boost after a marriage disaster tbh

However I might feel differently in 6 months!

So I had my 5th date, which turned into a sleepover

We had dinner at my house and he brought a overnight bag with him?.. I wasn't really sure what to think

But I have stayed at his and brought a bag, so it's kinda of the same I think!

Queue me googling ''what does it mean when a man wants to stay over" 😂

He spoke about exclusivity and I think called me his girlfriend might have been a slip!

But like a think I said on a previous post, he lacks that passion

argh!.... Clearly I'm not on the smitten bench quite yet

Well that's my one finished he msged yesterday to say sorry he forgot to reply to me the day before so I sent one stating he seems to be very preoccupied lately and I get the feeling your not interested anymore.

He then later replied saying he was sorry and that he is all over the place at the moment, doesn't know what he wants in life etc. But that he thinks I'm lovely and has enjoyed spending time with me.

Just makes me sad, he's the first one I thought that could have potential and now I feel like I'm just not good enough.

it's not you apparently, you have to keep saying that to yourself though I know it is really really hard. Just be thankful you're not months down the line and finding that out. Better to find it out now and just move on. I know it's tough.

@Apparentlyacatch it is hard but at least you know earlier than later. I felt a bit like this with MrDreamy, that we had this click and seemed like potential but i do try and think if meant to be, it wont go past you.
You hear these horror stories of dating for months then it happens so be thankful it's earlier than later. Just indulge yourself a bit and dust yourself off and you'll be fine.

apparently that's really hard but you did the right thing to ask the direct question and find out where he is at ! How long were you seeing each other for?

daffo sounds like you have come to a decision on Mr D

Had another date with MrMechanic last night! 3 dates in a week I think is pretty good going!

Still no more than snogging, though I'm starting to feel like I want more than that

Trying to behave and hold out for a bit as I'm not good at seperating sex and feelings so want to make sure there's something there before jumping into bed with him (though omg I want to!!)

We shall see x

coolcahuna it was only a month, 4 dates in total so I wasn't in love or anything. Just a shame as when together we got on really well and I felt comfortable with him.

It’s definitely not you @Apparentlyacatch. It’s him that can’t get his act together. And that makes him not right for you, so it’s best to know now.

Lots of snogging sounds good @thelaststraw123. As does wanting more. 😁 I remember the utter joy of snogging (like bloody teenagers) in early dates with my BF. I’m not sure I’ve ever kissed anyone so much in my life (there is still a great deal of snogging involved). It’s a marked change from my ex, who was an utterly dreadful kisser (and then became sexually abusive) so I actively avoided kissing him. I felt genuinely repulsed by it. So it’s lovely to rediscover the joy of snogging.

Do the kids still call it snogging? Or am I are we all showing my our age? 😂

Agree on snogging as far as once you kiss someone properly its a good way of telling if you'd like it to go further in future.
I've fancied a couple of ex bf s but ended up disliking kissing them.
One was a smoker so that put me off and was too wet the other was just me going along with the snogs but no passion.
I'm quite reluctant to kiss anyone knew these days as I assume the kiss will be crap or awkward.
Oh and people who you do think are hot can be a massive let down once you snog.

koko my utterly lovely FWB revealed himself after 5 months to be interested in being a sub. I said I would give it a go and I find I like it. It suits me to try new stuff and take a degree of risk after way too many years of total 'respectability'. However, I know this guy and like /trust him as a person. Embarking on any sort of relationship with someone where being a Domme is top of the agenda is a different kettle of fish I think. I have turned down plenty of guys on Tinder who wanted this sort of caper from the beginning

my feeling about any type of dom sub play is that I could do it as playing with a FWB but I have never managed it in a relationship. It has to be a side line rather than the main attraction for me. But each to their own!

went out with someone last year who was hugely into it but only revealed it properly after a few months and we ended our relationship because I just couldn't do it as a permanent thing

I've decided to try for a proper relationship in the new year so I signed up for a paid site last week. It was completely useless, as they all are, so I did some digging and found out something that I didn't know and thought I would share: you have the right to cancel and get a full refund within 14 days of signing up (statutory cooling off period in UK). It was not particularly easy to find this on the site (Elite Singles) and unbelievably difficult to communicate with what is laughably called 'customer service', but it can be done.

You probably all already knew this of course. I am so old

you're not old Movember

just ask us all though because between us all, we've probably tried every site there is

So is there a paid site that is worth trying? I've had horrible experiences with Match and Guardian Soulmates, and now Elite Singles, and I'm addicted to Tinder (although I'm not on it at the moment). Is there any hope for me??

If you want my honest opinion I would say pay for the sites that work for you.

So pay for tinder gold and pay the extra for bumble. When you pay for those you can see the lists of people who like you, and all sorts of other extras and tbh I think if you are serious about dating, those are the most popular sites and by paying you are giving yourself an advantage.

When I go back on I will go on both of those and pay

I don't think any of the other sites are worth paying for. Guardian, match, eharmony etc. I found all useless and they were all on bumble or tinder anyway! The only other one where I saw different people was Happn but a lot of people don't like that

Daffo you are a star, I shall definitely do that. Doh, why didn't I think of it??? Maybe I'm not old (thank you ) but I'm beginning to think I'm a bit stoopid .

Good luck shit and yes please do give us a loo update if you get a chance x

So Mr X, after 2 months has totally cooled off, still messaging me, but not the same and making no effort to arrange a date.
Should I just do the same and back right off?

advice needed
so during my date Mr E. Stated that he 'had come off of Match' I didn't ask or approach this

Soooooo... I checked and guess what still there! WTF?

Also he said the week before he hadn't been on in weeks... I looked then (incognito ) and he was logged in 24 hours before.

Is this like a cheaters fantasy... Go exclusive (his idea) then look for options...

I sent him a passive aggressive message with the link to suspending is account!

*It's bin time right?"