Dating Thread 143 Can Anybody Find Meeeee Somebody to Love!

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@wishywashy6

I was on POF but met too many unhinged ladies (wanting to move in together after 2 dates. Telling their kids I was their new dad before we'd even met...). At 33 I think I'm too old for Tinder.

Yes, I own a yacht... She's a fantastic vessel, fits in the bath no trouble

anondad if you are too old for Twitter we are all fucked :)

A lot of us are 45+ and have been on there at some stage!

Tinder :) not twitter!

@DaffoDeffo

I must be in a youth sinkhole then. I only ever saw profiles of women young enough to be my daughter (if I'd started very early)

Well well, that was a lovely lunchtime coffee, he was really nice and had a twinkle in his eye. Our actual first dates was planned for next weekend so hopefully that is still on the cards, we've been messaging away since the date.

daffo and tooold I couldn't believe I was that spontaneous either but I coloured my hair last night and have a nice dress and jacket today so just thought SOD IT. Glad I did, second date will be way more chilled now :-). He looks alot better than his pics.

daffo I'm not sure I could cope with the slow fade like you are! Do whatever's best for you, I wouldn't be able to cope and would be calling it!

@DaffoDeffo yep, you're right - it only updates the location (at the bottom) if you open the app.
My spidey senses correct though as I got this from my latest iron today. Just as I was about to present a paper to the Board
"I'm really sorry to do this, but I went on a date last night (fairly hastily arranged) and I'd like to see her again. I'm not inclined to date multiple people, never mind not having the energy. So I'm going to wish you the best of luck. I hate this dating thing, it seems a bit cruel and random, but I just have to go with what I feel. You are lovely, and maybe in another universe..."
Am not really that bothered - I couldn't see him fitting in with any of my friends even though he was lovely. But the message restored my faith in the potential for men to treat women decently.

anondad - most of us ladies of a certain age are not looking for marriage or replacement Dads for our kids as we are more settled ourselves. Not waiting for some guy to rescue us! Maybe try a different site than Tinder, where you can be more specific about what your have to offer and what you're looking for.
cool - sounds promising!

I'm not sure when I'll hear from MrPara if he'll be able to make it tonight. By appearing to be cool, I've set myself up to wait for him to contact me! Doh.

midcentury - It was nice of him to be honest but it probably still stings a bit. Sending ((hugs)).

Midcentury nice to see a man acting decently! Gives us all hope

cool it is testing me for sure lol. But ultimately I've walked away now. Nothing and I mean nothing would persuade me to go back there. He had his chance and he didn't take it. He is going through a hard time so I'll leave him to his own devices but it's over. It's just annoying that I need to wait to go on dating sites till after Xmas because it would really help now with getting over him but there is no point. I'm not around so I can't see anyone and I might as well wait now.

@anondad85
I think that's the last thing most of us want!
Tinder isn't necessarily just for the younger generation, I'm 36 and met some half decent blokes on there and as I've mentioned before, my exh met his new partner on there and they've just got engaged so it's not all full of horror stories!
What are you looking for?

Haha just had the funniest tinder message with a guy just looking for hookups!he asked what I was in to and he responded with rough hair pulling spanking to which I replied no thanks not for me but good luck with his quest and he unmatched me-never has a man that forward before!😆

anondad maybe you need to look at your settings? You can set the age range so you shouldn’t be seeing women half your age unless that’s what you have specified.

I tried Tindwr for 2 days and deleted it again! I ‘matched’ with about 5 men, only one messaged, I replied and got nothing back (it was just a reply to a “hi, what are you up to” kind of post so I didn’t say anything controversial!).
I’ve come off all OLD sites though as it was all taking too much brain space and knocking my self esteem.

You must have your tinder set to jailbait @anondad85. 😂

I met my BF on tinder. I was 37 and he was 38. There were lots of men aged between 35 and 45 (my settings) on there. I assume the situation for women was the same.

I would cancel @shitwithsugaron. You can just say that you’ll rearrange for when he’s better.

@shitwithsugaron Park that date and arrange another. He is being flaky at best and sounds like he could be holding out on something else..... Let him contact you to rearrange.

@anondad - I'm 35 and until this week I had been using Tinder & been on a few dates. 😊

Erm well I have a date arranged with someone I knew 26 years ago, via tinder. How bizarre is that.

warls wow that is random!

warls that sounds promising.I’m now speaking to a guy on bumble who’s looking for a Dom-they’re all coming out of the woodwork tonight!I’m a bit skeptical-anyone have any advice on this field!

I had a would-be dom chatting on Sunday I just said oooh good luck with that and stopped chatting. Not what I'm after.

I'm also still chatting to the colleague and another decent option who I am keeping as a backup, he's looking for a proper relationship but I'm only dipping my toe in the water so don't think it'll come to anything

But I've been on OLD for 8/9 days so I think it's gone remarkably well actually. Nowhere near as awful as I expected, and I've only been sent one 'picture' tbf it was very pleasant but I don't want the sort of chap who'll send them iykwim

It's very bizarre though isn't it. I've seen a few faces I vaguely recognise, including a teacher from DS's school and some others

I joined tinder and bumble, but I hate the woman messaging first thing on bumble maybe it's my age (40 something) , but I just can't make the first move.

@Koko12 I think go meet him if you think you click! I met one bloke like this and just met him out of curiosity as I'd never dabbled in that sort of thing. Actually he was very nice but I didn't feel any spark so left it at that. He was probably the most upfront and non game playing of anyone I'd met!