Dating thread 142: love will tear us apart...again

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Just general feedback, anything I can improve on and perhaps hitting the like button, every little helps as they say

@StrippedOfDeposit Thanks for that much appreciated 😍

removalizer well yes, you look good for 57, you're enthusiastic and lively. I guess make sure your profile conveys your good qualities and your pics are varied - men tend to have pics of them just in their work environment, complete with seatbelt on/high vis jackets etc, on lads' nights out and doing weird things with bikes/boats/fish etc. Think about what your average female might like instead - smiles and a nicely ironed shirt do it for me!

Using this one on dating sites Athens moment

Oops not that one, what is wrong with this phone 😩

Well asked my iron playfully when was I going to see him again.... He changed the avoided answering last night and no mention today. I'm not going to ask him again. If he wants to see me he knows where I am. Still stings though 😔

@pushreset he should be lucky you're asking him out, sounds like he's lost interest, plenty more guys out there, why do you call him an iron BTW ?

Hmm, I didn't specifically ask him out just prodded for convo to move in that way.... But lucky I want to spend my time with him yes! Call him my iron because he's the only one I've got in the fire 😂 I have high hopes for this one to go places but I'm not going to push

@Pushreset so do you tend to initiate the convo then ?

@removalizer no not about seeing him. I have continued to chat as normal. I assume he's still not 100% recovered from being ill last week and is currently a bit stressed. I don't want to push him away and I don't want to ask more than once so now that but is down to him. I want him to want to see me as much as I want to see him...

Met a lady on Bumble last night we hit it off and agreed to meet for dinner halfway in Leyland on Friday night, I messaged her on what's app this morning saying good morning, nothing, here we go again 😔

@Pushreset personally I thing you're on a hiding for nothing with him, if I felt the same way as you do wild horses wouldn't stop me Progressing things, one of my ex's was in a similar situation with another guy, in the end he ran with someone else

Ah that's different @removalizer I'd wait at least 12 hrs for a reply for first contact as you don't know what her working day and text habits are... Don't write that one off yet you never know! Unless she's read it or been online on WhatsApp and not replied??

Massively procrastinating and now online dating before picking DD up. Saw a lovely profile yesterday but his age range (he was 46) was 20-45. Massively put me off, didn't even bother.

Now someone whose age range was up to 38 has just winked at me, told him I was too old but he is persevering....however spelling mistake in his message...I do struggle with this.

@Pushreset yes I can tell she's read it blur ticks are lit up, but yes you're right 12 hours then she's history

Onward and upward excuse the pun 🙄

Am now chatting to a 32 year old - I know I am on a hiding to nothing here but gosh he is fit!

@midcenturylegs I think you should keep an open mind with regard to potential compatability over interests/intelligence. I realised after a lot of navel gazing that I'm looking for someone who complements me (and compliments me!), not someone who is a male version of me if that makes sense? They'd be pretty dull if they were like me .

I'm very happy within my comfort zone of work, home, DD and never really push myself to do anything a bit "out there", but I now I'm in danger of retreating further into my little hole and letting life pass me - what a waste that would be.

MrAbs has 2 kids (one the same age as mine), who he has 4/14 nights. I have my DD 10/14 nights. He gets it, thats important to me. If he asked if I wanted to go surfing one weekend, rather than sit in and watch another box set, I'd do it now whereas previously I would say "that's not my thing" and move on (even if that's just sitting on the beach watching him with a flask of coffee).

@giggleshizz spelling mistakes tend to be the norm now with autocorrect especially when you get excited 😁

Has anyone used a site like Photofeeler to get their pictures rated?

It was a real eye opener for me. I'd rate myself as a solid 7.5/10 out of 10 on a good day with a following wind, but my photo got rated at 5/10. The feedback was really useful, not harsh, but constructive and it was really easy to see where I could make improvements.

@removalizer I wouldn't read too much into reply times/ who's read what and when at this stage.
I'm forever busy running a business, house, 2 kids, 2 horses, a dog plus a fairly busy social life away from dating. I pick up my phone and then get broken off, it's life and I accept that other people have busy lives too.
I reply when I can and I hate feeling bombarded or pressured.
Give her time to reply in her own time, if she does then great, if not then don't dwell on it maybe she just wasn't feeling the same as you.
Remember these people online owe you nothing as harsh as that sounds!

From my experience on there as a woman I got around 30-50 messages a day from different men. No way did I have time to reply to every stranger on the internet so yes many got ignored.
I sometimes got accused of being rude or ignorant but then again if I replied and said I wasn't interested I also got a lot of "so why are you replying then? Playing hard to get?" responses 🙄 so really sometimes it's easier to just stay quiet

I think it's important when in the early stages of messaging on OLD to accept that, in the nicest possible way, you mean nothing to the people you're messaging. They most likely have friends/ kids/ family who are priority and rightly so.
I found so many men ready to sweep me off my feet (one guy even claimed to be in love with me😳) after only a few messages which I found really off putting
Let things happen naturally and don't try to force things, let them know you're interested but then give them space.
That's how I liked it anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

I gave photofeeler a go @JeSuisPrest like you said good feedback. Those people are mostly unbiased and don't owe you anything also be prepared for a few nasty comments but give you a good general idea. I like looking through other people's photos too... Made me feel better some of them!

@wishywashy6 30 messages plus a day OMG I'd be in heaven if I got that, I get one a month 😁

@wishywashy6 I have 6 ladies that I've got to what's app stage, I message them once a week, always banter and get them laughing but when I ask them out I get the usual washing hair excuses

@wishywashy6 the best excuse I had was at the weekend "filling in my tax return" 😂

@removalizer quality over quantity
Once I'd sifted through the yawn inducing attempts at sex chat/dick pics and generic 'hey's there wasn't always much to get excited about
Tax returns are fairly time consuming tbf 🤷🏼‍♀️😂