Dating thread 142: love will tear us apart...again

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@removalizer sounds like you're a woman addict which in itself is a big turn off to most women so I guess you're in a catch 22 situation
Perhaps seek some professional help for your problem

I'd much rather be alone than someone's seconds anyday

@wishywashy6 Woman addict ? Hmm yeah maybe I am, doing alright at the moment though, Professional help ? too old for that shit 🙄

I think it's more desperate to not be alone do focusing all attention on getting a partner at all costs. It's a pity you feel too old for therapy because you would clearly benefit from getting to the root of why you can't be alone

@removalizer I suppose that depends on your definition of 'doing alright'
An emotionally broken woman in a relationship and a teacher who doesn't set you on fire sounds pretty crap to me though 🤷🏼‍♀️

@wishywashy6 yep it's not brilliant, but it's all part of searching for the right one, don't forget the ultimate goal is to find my shipmate for my sailing adventure and property lady is up for that although I don't think she could cope, not many women want to do this adventure so that's why I keep at it

@HereIgoagainxx I think you're reading too much in to it

Not really. You are 52 and clearly not happy in yourself. It's a common reason people go to therapy.

@HereIgoagainxx I'm 57, No I am happy in myself but not on my own I know it sounds weird I just like the company of women

How long are you single?

you know I know you all seem appalled but I honestly know so many men like removaliser even if it is a wind up, it's freakishly accurate

so many men cannot bear to be on their own. At least, I suppose, he's honest about it. Most aren't.

you look around, most of our exhs shacked up with other women pretty fast - I know mine really couldn't bear to be on his own and took the first vaguely suitable woman that would have him!

@HereIgoagainxx I broke off a 7 year Relationship in June this year

@removalizer the problem is while you keep acting so desperate and settling for whatever comes your way, you're only ever going to get women with zero self respect and who are emotionally not ready to date, much like yourself.
That's not a recipe for a healthy relationship, on or off a yacht

I'm sure many women would be ready for such an adventure, with the right person

@DaffoDeffo Thanks Deffo

It's your life, removalizer, but you are coming across as desperate to fill a void. Why not relax, learn to be happy on your own instead of chasing women?

People can smell desperation. No one wants to feel they were chased by a man because he couldn't be on his own.

@wishywashy6 I wouldn't say I was desperate, both these women have shown an interest which I have acted upon as one Lady said before " Try before you buy"

removaliser I find it difficult to picture a woman - well anyone really - who would be prepared to be alone on a yacht for months on end with you! That said, your windup merchant, push the boundaries, tin hat persona is very like my DB (same age) who has managed to land 'a woman' with minimal effort and a great deal of smugness on his part after being widowed in July. At our age, there are some desperate ladies out there, so good luck - but do you really have to share your creepy progress with the world on this forum???

@removalizer so a woman who has a bf and shows an interest is something to be proud of? I know many guys do this but have some respect for yourself and others.

I've said this before you ladies have it easy always a man chasing you, as for us we have to work our butts off

@removalizer - why are you here?
I've thought this from the start (maybe before anyone else dared to comment) but I think you are the sort of man I would block immediately, you come across as a complete misogynist.
Or, you're just trying to wind us all up (but not, tbh, that cleverly).

@midcenturylegs I'm not trying to wind anyone up Im just saying how it is, I get some good advice between all the flak which is like water off a ducks back BTW

What is up with some men being incapable of handling rejection nicely?

I just made an effort and sent a "thanks but no thanks" text to a man I had been on one date with. Zero spark on my end. The next day he texts me on the app asking for my phone number because he'd like to keep in touch.

I reply saying "nice to meet you but I am not sure there was a spark there for me. I think it is best to be honest. Good luck and have a good day!".

His reply: "I am not interested at all either, I just wanted to stay in touch on a friendly level. You should get over yourself, you are not that hot."

I mean

@removalizer nobody's saying that the whole dating process isn't very much 'try before you buy'
I get that. The difference is you seem to think absolutely any form of female attention is a positive, no matter the circumstances.
You come across as though finding the 'right' person isn't important at all, as long as she's female. To any woman with an ounce of self respect that's highly unattractive. So while you may not think you're desperate, you certainly come across that way.

"Us ladies" may have a bigger pool to choose from but believe me, after sifting through the desperate Dans and utter weirdos it's not as easy as you seem to think it is..... if it was this wouldn't be the 142nd dating thread 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sinking his ego is bruised that's all. Some people take rejection badly. In his eyes you were rejecting him so he had to get the dig in about you not being that hot. It's lame but not uncommon

@wishywashy6 sorry wishy that's not the case at all there's no way I would date anyone I didn't fancy, I like both these ladies and there is a bit of a spark whether that grows only time will tell