Dating thread 142: love will tear us apart...again

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Good luck with Mr Ukelele @shitwithsugaron. 😁

I think everyone will have different attitudes to sex in dating. That’s inevitable. People need to do it the way that’s right for them. So long as no one is lying about what they’re doing or trying to deceive people.

Your exes sound just wonderful @WaitingforMrHardy. I’ve had 3 major relationships previously but cheating wasn’t the issue in any of them.

The ex I split up with nearly 19 years ago (the horror at typing that) and I are still friends. We were just too young.

University boyfriend ex was an insecure wanker who couldn’t cope that I was cleverer than him and who ghosted me, after dating for 3 years. I shit you not. He was never good enough for me anyway.

Recent ex was a decade long mistake. He was emotionally, financially and sexually abusive. And an arse. And (separate to those issues) has MH problems he refuses to accept or acknowledge (in fact, he would accuse me of being abusive for suggesting that his behaviour was a symptom of seriously poor MH). I think that he actually did cheat on me right at the end, but by that time I was hoping that he’d decide we were splitting uk because (a) he refused to believe or accept it if I suggested it, and (b) he would be less awful about it if he decided it was his idea. So I could only be thankful to the poor sod he’d set his sights on there.

Date with ms property went well just a drink in the local pub, she has a bf who doesn't care about her, I told her I had just started seeing some else which didn't bother her, we had a kiss and a cuddle and agreed to go out to the Lakes with the dogs on Saturday, one step at a time, Happy days

@removalizer

I may be wrong but in my eyes if ms property has a boyfriend (regardless of whether he cares about her or not) then what she is doing is cheating on him by kissing you.
No matter whether he is an arse or not she should end it before she starts something else

And as for you saying happy days you make me sick - how can it be happy days when someone is cheating to be there?

If seeing someone in a relationship makes you happy then you really need to sort your head out

I know this thread should be supportive but I cannot condone this.

I'm beginning to think your posts are deliberately worded to wind us (mainly) women up

I think Removalizer is in need of an ego boost, even if it is from an attached woman. You must have low self esteem to accept that.

@removalizer I agree when I seen this last night I was speechless as I didn't n is what to say. So many good people here opening up about how crap OLD is and he's boasting about it she's a bf and it's ok and you've started seeing someone???

removalizer I think I must have missed where you said you were seeing someone, exclusively?? So you're both cheating?

I think he said he was seeing someone to make himself more attractive to ms property. If he'd met someone, he'd have announced it here

If you are happy being sloppy seconds, go for it. What if the bf finds out..... Doubt it will be happy days then

Here 😧 ewwww

We are just friends for now, to be honest I don't think she will leave him there's still an emotional attachment, I've only met teacher lady once so a long way from exclusivity yet

@removalizer friends or not, if she's actively seeking to date others while remaining in a relationship with her 'uncaring boyfriend' she's not exactly a catch is she?! So many red flags I'd be saying thanks but no thanks

However, I do take most things you say now with a pinch of salt as I'm never quite sure what's fantasy and what's reality with you 🤷🏼‍♀️

@removalizer
However, I do take most things you say now with a pinch of salt as I'm never quite sure what's fantasy and what's reality with you

^^
This

That 👇👇

To be honest I'm not sure myself, but you're right with property lady too many red flags and she's emotionally broken, and teacher lady doesn't set me on fire either, as I said before it's better than being alone

removalizer I would suggest that you're not ready to be dating. You need to be comfortable with yourself and your own company before you can start a relationship. Otherwise you're expecting that person to fill in the spaces. A partner isn't there to make you feel better about yourself.

(I'm sure someone else can word that better!)

Exactly, a partner should add to your life. A partner should not be expected to 'make' your life.

@likeridingabike I keep hearing that and perhaps you're right I have tried it but it depresses me, I have always had women in my life, maybe I should just keep searching for the right one ? I ain't getting any younger

I'm not getting any younger. I was married for 20+ years and thought I couldn't survive being on my own.
It took a while but I'm more than happy not having a man around all the time. It gets lonely sometimes but I know that feeling doesn't last long.
What helped me? Friends, finding new activities to try, going out on my own to places, a good book to read or just going for a walk to clear my head.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I do all those things in fact I went to Malta on my own for a week and all I did was chase women, I have a yacht but it's too cold to take her out at the moment, and I play golf plus I like walking I'm beginning to sound like a dating profile again.

But yes you're absolutely right, I'm going to cool things down with ms teacher and ms property, stay friends and see how it goes I think

You sound absolutely choice removalizer.

It's better than being alone Nice attitude. That poor lady 😡

Chasing women doesn't mean he caught any, shit

Oh here we go , Tin Hat on again 😄

@shitwithsugaron yep got it in one, didn't catch any