Dating thread 142: love will tear us apart...again

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

At least 3/4 of men on dating sites don't want to date I'm pretty sure! They match you, swipe you, message you - then nothing! ...

I have took one of my irons out of the fire today with. Thanks big no thanks text. I was online lukewarm on meeting him then he let slip he doesn't drive and I'm pretty sure he still lives at home (he's early 30's) meh! I've done that before!
I'm a little ashamed to say I blocked him after I said thanks and goodbye

I am hoping to meet with Mr J. On Saturday, he's either a good match for me or I think I'll be disappointed... He is quite reserved but says it's because he doesn't want to over-invest too early... We'll see.

Mr E. Is still around with the possiblity of date 3... Still not made my mind up yet

sigh sounds like the old have you cake and eat it - you gonna do what's best for you

My old first dates can be full of nerves... Is it worth a 2nd date

WaitingforMrHardy I don't think nerves was the problem. It was supposed to be a quick coffee that turned into a long lunch.
I guess it just felt like I was meeting a friend. No kiss or anything at the end.
We've arranged a second date, so I'll go and hopefully that will ignite some spark!

@IndieTara, on Badoo if you click on the world icon at the bottom of your screen, then at the top right hand corner is an icon that looks like lines with circles on them, you will be able to put in your location, then the profiles that appear on that page will be close to you (the further down the profiles on the page you go, the further away they get though)

HTH

that's not fair on you sighhhh. But maybe his definition of serious is not the same as yours? As tbh if someone was calling me that much and wanting to come round, then I would class that as fairly serious anyway! Some men (and women I guess) don't like having definitions sprung on them - maybe just going with the flow would work for you both without actually calling it anything?

mulie indie it is definitely all about them. And the bottom line is we never know what is going on in their lives. For all we know they are married, or chancers or hairy handed truckers using someone else's photos. I always think of it as a lucky escape rather than a sadness. More fool them!

Mr Comedy has disappeared on tinder. I suspect he is pissed off that I didn't come back to him quickly. A lot of men hate the fact that in the beginning it can take me a bit of time to respond to messages (I do have a full time job!). Am chatting to 2 other people who super swiped me who both seem lovely.

Mr Disappearing is continuing to talk to me every day. He says the right things, then again, he always has. So the proof will be if we can manage these dates.

Honestly @DaffoDeffo I don't care what's going on in their lives. I just wish they'd stop cocking up mine!

@Mulie you are both so calm about this. I turn into a raging volcano every time this happens to me!

@scotgal2017 thanks for the advice I'll try it

Just caught up on the last few days - so much going on!!

Still seeing MrAbs, but after a bit of a heart to heart, we are going to slow things right down. Acting like a couple of lovesick teenagers is doing neither of us any good, even if the sex amazing. We've cut back on the WA messaging - it was literally turning into a running commentary of our day from the minute we woke up to when we fell asleep. When we do message now it's actually meangingful, rather than him tell me what he's having for lunch and me telling him I'm stopping at the supermarket on the way home for bread .

Next date is on Thursday - I think I'm going to floor him and say I'm not staying over, even if that means driving home at 2am. As much as I love all night cuddles and waking up together, I've been too available for him - he needs to do some chasing and miss me (according to Matthew Hussey). Not game playing, but I want him to come to the decision on his own that I am worth having in his life and if I'm too available he's never going to realise that. It could go horribly wrong, but if it does he's not the one for me.

@jesuisprest - your plan sounds great! Happy to hear you're having good fun and old is going well for you.

Mine isn't so good. The guy I was/am seeing I think has me around but at the same time looking for something better! Not a nice feeling. So I've back off and seeing what happens!

I'm having probs with tinder at the mo! Anyone else struggling to log in?

Hello peeps, I think those who have mentioned a lack of initial spark should give it another go. I heard from my friendzoned buddy that his lady said the same, he got a second date, then they dtd on the 3rd and are now seeing each other! Maybe mention it to the bloke and see whether he thinks worth a second date too?

shit my date felt like I was catching up with a friend I hadn't seen for ages. I feel weird that I could spend so long with someone I'd only just met but have no 'spark'.

Eesha I plan to give it another go. He's already been suggesting ideas for our next date. But not in a pushy way. I think is just me, not him.

I'm wondering whether to just go in for a snog next time and hope that brings on the spark.

Can i ask a question do you ladies message first on Tinder? Or wait for the guy to message you?

shmack I mostly message first. TBH it hasn't made a huge difference on my Tinder as most do not reply to my messages anyway (I'm not a troll promise )

Indie I'm with you I get so annoyed with ghosting etc! First time it happened I was unmatched on Tinder and ignored on WhatsApp, despite seeing that hes online! So I sent him a message saying he'd probably have better chances if he didn't blantantly ignore women! - then blocked him.

I don't make excuses either, the majority of people in my age range (early 30s) have smartphones. I really cannot believe in a 24 hour period they cannot find time to send a quick text.

I mean why would you even be dating with so little free time

I like to see it as they showed their true colours up front. Saves getting attached then finding out!

So mr ego just left....I am shocked he told me he wants to give us a proper go he really likes me and hasn’t been able to handle his feelings for me but he can’t stop thinking about me and doesn’t want me not in his life. Deleted his tinder and bumble accounts in front of me so we are officially seeing each other exclusively

Oooo sigghhh that's exciting!! How are you feeling about it?

Sighhh Exciting !!'

@Sighhhhh85 and how are you feeling about that?!

When the guy you've been seeing 6 weeks is ready to be exclusive you call it a day!

I can't help but feel rejected even though I've called an end to it!

Anyone else feel the same?

Hypothetically if you had a minor health issue if the cosmetic sense.
Be it a scar, skin issue, ache, rash, scalp.
Or anything else how soon into dating someone would you tell them?
I have a a private issue that affects my life and confidence most days but in general manage to get away with not telling strangers about it.
But it would be impossible to hide if I kept seeing the same person.

Also I know some people would run a mile. As dating is shallow.
Same could be said if you had a minor health issue or disability.

That meant to say isn't ready to be exclusive!!!

@Whoknows11 why did you call an end to it?