Dating thread 142: love will tear us apart...again

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@IndieTara sorry, it's the man I saw before and who just wanted to be friends. We're still talking because I'm an idiot.

Anyway I did reinstall bumble and messaged a few guys. So we'll see. Not feeling enthusiastic about any of them.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh just unmatch with the one causing you a problem.

Hi all
Just checking in to say I am having the weekend with Mr Weekend.Think I’m really falling for him...

That’s exciting @Koko12. 😁

Thank you twicemagic despite having a 13 year marriage and another LTR never have felt this way about anyone before.and it would seem the feeling is mutual!feel so lucky.and for all of those asking about coffee dates earlier-we has a 1 1/2hr coffee date for our first date so coffee dates can work!good luck to everyone with upcoming dates over the weekend.

Hmmmm. 7.30am and MrAbs and I are off to the gym. How romantic .

@Leighhalfpennysthigh Just unmatch. You are doing this for you, not anyone else. Be kind always, but you are not obliged to continue talking to anyone.

Good luck for any dates happening today.

I’m really pleased to hear that @Koko12. It’s really lovely to feel that and have it reciprocated.

Sound super romantic @JeSuisPrest. Although I’d say that enjoyable for both of you is actually preferable to standard romantic. 😁

Morning chaps, question, how do I know if I've been blocked on Whatsapp? i was chatting to the guy on it since wednesday or Thursday and w eseemed to be getting on great, having a laugh and the converdation flowing. Last messaged him at 8pm yestaerday and no reply (fine maybe out/busy etc). This morning his profile picture is gone....i sent a good morning message to test it and one gray tick only.....so thinking I'm blocked. I also checked POF and his profile is gone (did a search) as are all the messages we had between us on POF??? I'm guessing he wasn't as single as he was making out, he sudenly found me/the world of dating repulsive, or he finally met the lady of his dreams last night!

If it's one tick and no picture you are probably blocked, also if you cannot see his POF it could mean you're blocked from too, sorry Scot

@scotgal2017 sounds like he's blocked you. I used to find guys in relationships done this all chat during the week but weekend was family time. It's crap but at least you can move in quickly without too much time investment. Don't be surprised if he comes back on Monday with a story

@scotgal2017 Trust your instincts and don't give him any more headspace. Do yourself a favour and delete him number/block him now in case he tries to rekindle. If getting ghosted once hurts, getting ghosted twice by the same person really knocks your self esteem.

Thanks guys, already blocked and deleted him. NEXT!!

So I have a date tomorrow with Mr C (who was meant to be Mr Spoon but did the swap). Texting still going nice, feels very natural, we have both talked about not getting ahead of ourselves in case there is no spark which I think is sensible but I am struggling not to. However, learnt my lesson from Mr Snapped and Blocked who I felt similar to who then basically blocked me :(

So I am feeling a bit anxious about tomorrow as I have gained quite a bit of weight since having DC. I put in my status curvy which I think I am but now am worrying that I am not curvy and in fact fat and that I do not look like my pictures even though pics are recent.

Anyone else here on the slightly curvier side ever feel like this? I know it shouldn't matter but I also know I have to face facts that people judge on appearance. I am steadily loosing the weight and exercising but I am realistically now an 18 (but very tall) whereas before DC I was a 14. Have no idea what to wear tomorrow either.

giggle Whatever you do don't put anything other than curvy, admit to being more than curvy (which it doesn't sound like you are) and you will get messages from a whole different set of men.

The man I'm talking to is on WhatsApp and was from another dating website. We had one date, got on fantastic and then he did the I just want to be friends line. So that was a bit of a headfuck. I'm now chatting to him on WhatsApp still and it's ok. It's actually just like it was before we met.

However, I have reinstalled bumble and talking to two men on there .

God I am starting to hate old. Was having a good time with Manchester Maths guy, really romantic and made each other laugh loads. Then the calls start to drop off, the texts etc. I got so fed up with being the only one making the effort I ended it. I just...why do they go all in and then suddenly all out? Where are the normal ones who just say what they mean and don't put on an act? Meh. Am now talking to a grizzly Lone Wolf who is lovely and macho but also arty but ugh about finding the stamina to get enthusiastic all over again. 🙄

Sorry Scot. - that was a block on WA. And such a shitty cowardly thing to do. At least have the decency to say why it isn't working out.......

So the other thing you need to remember here you have had a very lucky escape! It sounds like this man was being less than truthful about this life and was most likely married/in a relationship.

I agree with all the advice here to make sure you block him too so he can't find any way to weedle is way back into your life.

Move on with your head held high and be thankful you dodged a bullet!

X

@giggleshizz just wear something you feel comfortable in. Something you'd wear on a casual night out with friends maybe
All you can offer him is you, as you are. Whether you're a size 8,18 or 28 there's always that self doubt that creeps in as to whether you're 'good enough' for someone, especially when you've built it up beforehand via the messaging
You are who you are and he either likes that or he doesn't.
He is probably feeling equally apprehensive.
Be confident in who you are, don't make excuses for it, relax and have a good time ☺️

@Carouselfish I also hate when they go all in then disappear. Unfortunately my experience is they have found a 'better' or more available option because there are so many women out there. Ive seen it close up with friendzoned Mr12Step who does this all the time with his girls as so excited about all this attention that he has loads on the go.

You just have to think that doesn't define you, you should know your value and if someone doesn't see that, then not worth worrying about.

@giggleshizz im with Wishy on this, just wear something comfy and that you feel sexy in. TBH I am never wowed by men's looks when out, I believe that women are always the fairer sex! Just have faith. I'm a size 14/16 and i know when I pull the stops out, I look sexy as hell so I try and keep that in mind if the doubt sets in....

Hello all! I'm joining in 😄

giggle please don't worry about your figure. You sound perfect as you are. Dress to accentuate your best physical features by all means (invest in a first date outfit today?) but the best features of all are warmth and confidence. I'm an 18 (was a 14 like 30 years ago, pre-DC) and it has not been an issue with any guy I've met in person or DTD with. They're normally just as nervous and hung up as you are, and when it comes down to DTD they're so bloody amazed to have got to that stage it's not an issue. And if it is an issue at any stage - well, that's not the guy for you, move on.

Thank you all for your kind words. I'm going to see if I can nip to shops later and maybe buy a new top.

I think I do scrub up well if I say so myself