Dating thread 142: love will tear us apart...again

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@coolcahuna it's do hard isn't it. I truly want to beileve him. I'm trying not to be overly invested but I had the spark.... Such a good feeling from the beginning. Did yours ever call it off or just fade away 😔

coolcahuna I agree it's all about the actions. I had about 30 OLD over the last few years but the two relationships I've had during that time were when these two men pursued me. I had been messed about by so many other men,waiting for txts,being let down before a date and basically me chasing. These two men,although it didn't work out,were dependable,solid and reliable,it was such a relief!

rich,I like a man to pay for the first drink on a first date. extra points for him if he offers another round,however I will offer. I always go dutch in a relationship but it's quite nice to be wooed. But yes,i can see it can get get costly for you guys if you're on lots of first dates!

@removalizer I'm not offended, takes a lot to offend me. I just find you confusing and some of the stuff you say is more cringey and creepy than offensive.

Every woman is different but I think most would agree we'd just rather you be yourself and not play games. Be open and upfront about what you're looking for with people.

@removalizer, you just need to remember that this is a safe space for (mainly) women to share their experiences and ask for advice regarding dating.

Many women have had some shall we say questionable interactions with men online, and some of the things that you said made some of us feel equally uncomfortable.

That said, I understand from reading back that you're an older gentleman, and so would have thought you'd be more respectful than that.

I wish you luck with the dating, but recommend that you contact Mumsnet to remove your photos/videos as they identify you.

removalizer ok I am a bit offended and you do come across - in some of your messages - as a bit of a raving nutter. But clearly you don't mean any offence, so I guess that's ok then.

Maybe just calm down, stop referring to 'girls' and 'ladies' (personal pet peeves of mine, and of others I suspect), forget being a sex pest in pubs (you're 57 aren't you?) and start thinking of women - here and when OLD, which we all do/have done - as just people to be respected?

Just got a text from guy I am meeting for the first time on Saturday. He's at a gig and sent me a text saying he wished I was there (we are both old rockets from way back ).

Lovely how a simple text can make you like someone more.

Here's hoping I'm not on here Sunday stuffing myself with chocolate orange

Rockers*

Removalist, you don't need to be here to find out how women think. Surely by now you have worked that all women think differently but are essentially looking for someone that is respectful, thoughtful and honest.

I agree re the video link. You can be traced back to this thread so maybe worth removing it.

push, I made a bit of a dick of myself over him to be honest. Our time was really intense and I thought he was the one for me. And the whole thing made me go a bit doolally. We both brought alot of drama to it which was ridiculous.

We ended in the spring , kept talking which for a while which did me no good as lots of false hope for me and we deleted each other eventually. He's come back now and I am trying to see it as a fresh start with no expectations. My advice would be to try and play it as cool as you can but maybe set a deadline in your head for moving on xx

Oh @coolcahuna you're giving it a second go? Good luck... I'm sure you'll be fine as you know the signs from before!

push, we chatted today about seeing how it goes. I've been honest that I'm dating. I'm not chasing this time. He can suggest a date..if we go on one..but Not holding my breath.

push the waiting for them to confirm a date is the absolute worst thing. Mr Disappearing has this perfected to a fine art.

Was it cool that said (sorry on phone so can't scroll down) that the 2 relationships were where the men pursued her? Because that's exactly my experience

What I've found with the ones who don't set up dates easily is they are either a) not in the right place for a relationship or b) not that keen

It's very hard and I still fall for people like this all the time. Am I the only one who is now desperate for a chocolate orange

@coolcahuna that's the best way to be... I'll try my best to do the same. Mr Red just said he was having a quiet evening.... Ho hum, not enough boredom to engage in convo with me obviously 😏

Chocolate Oranges are usually on offer before Christmas 🙄 😁

Chocolate orange were £1 in Tesco yesterday.
I may have bought a few.

Think I need to pop into Tesco and find those chocolate oranges!

@removalizer, I think if you read back what you wrote you will maybe recognise why some people thought your post was offensive/out of order. Like wishy, I'm not easily offended and I'm not always the most diplomatic/tactful of people in real life sometimes but I try and make sure I think about what i'm posting. All I'm saying is maybe think about it but think we should recognise that no-one is perfect and we all make mistakes?

@shit, what a bummer about your date, onwards and upwards!!!

Well, my aim of staying off of dating apps worked about 95% today, I went on as there are a couple of guys I'm having brief conversations with and I felt it would be impolite not to respond to them today as I wasn't having a day off the apps due to them lol.

Been chatting to WA Guy again this evening, we have similar sense of humours and bounce off each other, it's great fun. Should I overlook the fact that he is a cyclist?????

And what do you know, Mr 4amguy sent me a Kik invitation early evening.....now do i respond this evening or wait til tomorrow morning??

scotgal a cyclist! Send him my way
Leave Mr 4am. He asked you to go on Kik then left you hanging around. He can wait

Cyclists usually have nice bums. That’s all I really have to say. 😁

TwiceMagic my date next week is a cyclist. I might make him walk in front of me to test that out.

lol @TwiceMagic and @Myoldbrain if we make a coffee date i'll be sure to inform you of the result - for research purposes of course lol

I will look forward to hearing the results of your research. 😆

That stupid black advert block is fucking up the page again for me. Anyone else?

lol @ Twicemagic

no @Azzizam

Okay, i buckled and am now speaking to Mr 4amguy on kik lol. Whoever said they are an ex people-pleaser, yes i am one too but I am working on it (trying to make sure i please me first lol)