Dating thread 142: love will tear us apart...again

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I really agree with you all on the weekday coffee dates and quick cups of tea. Nothing has ever come from those for me. Everyone is a bit awkward and an hour can be too short sometimes.

The men who can't take rejection are hilarious. I had a date arranged, he cancelled because he was tired. I could be arsed to rearrange it...he kept chasing...And then when I declined, he said it was a massive relief as he was dreading the date. 🤣. He had chased me THREE times.

leigh get yourself on bumble woman!

And I have NEVER done a date as a tea or coffee! Are you all mad ;)? I definitely need a drink to unwind as I'm sure men do too!

daffo I've just been thinking back and not one coffee date has gone anywhere !

So no coffee dates I love you guys Im learning all the time 😀

I prefer coffee dates but that's because it's easier for me to meet someone during the day. For an evening date I'd have to drive anyway, so a drink is out of the question.
However, I've only had one second date (and beyond) in 2 years, so I think it's my choice of men, rather than venue that's the problem.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking
So how many first dates have you been on in 2 years ?

Is it a full moon today bacuase it feels like it arrggghhhh!!!

Guy who wanted to send pic sent one this morning of his face and chest. He wasn't bad looking, so i replied he had a warm smile and kind face. We had been chatting normally before that and I also had mentioned to him about receiving pics (not of face), propositions for phone sex etc etc. he asked me if i used Kik i said no due to bad experience with it. This evening chatting away and he asked me if i wanted a pic. i said you already sent me one. He pushed and I said okay if you want, which was followed by the question what do you want? My reply was to block him, think that message will have been received loud and clear....you were winning up to that point!!

Mr 4amGuy has me in a tizz.....i am emotionally invested and find myself sad when I go on POF and wonder if he has read my message and not replied or it is showing him as online and he doesn't message me. It got me so wound up earlier that I paid for a month for POF so I can see if he has read my messages and is just ignoring me lol (it also helped me clear the 285 peple who had done the Metme, it was driving me mad). his conversation has been very gentlemanly, a bit of flirting but mainly normal conversation. This evening we have been talking and he asks if I have Snapchat or Kik. Now in panic mode, I told him I uninstalled Kik, have never used Snapchat but fid have whatsapp. I'm so keen on him I have reinstalled Kik (coming to another point on this in a second) and sent him my username. Now worried it's about to go downhill as i'm an old fuddyduddy and don;t know if Snapchat is used for sex stuff like Kik can be?? I'll see what happens but want to meet him as up til now he seems normal. He said he can't get into his whatsapp.....why do i have a sinking feeling?

As an aside when I reinstalled Kik, Mr Cheekybanter had sent me a message yesterday saying he couldn;t believe i binned him for nothing and it was uncool.....the message was promptly followed by a video of him and his aherm wares. i have messaged him to say i didn't bin him for nothing as I sort of feel bad for ending it by message (which i only did because it would have been ages before we saw each other in person again).

on happy note have a new iron started talking yesterday, we have moved to whatsapp. on a frustrating note I'm getting nowhere with tinder or bumble, match is like the desert and I never imagined that dating would be so stressful and exhausting!!!!

So just spent the evening chatting to someone, date lined up, he's just confessed to stalking me i.e. just through my first name and my work he's found me and now reading things I've written through my work.

I'm right to be a bit weirded out by this right? I mean we all stalk but not that early on surely? I'm now even paranoid that he's lurking on here

I've called him out jokingly calling him a stalker....I'll still meet up with him but feel a bit uncomfortable now.

giggleshizz Well you might stalk early on but you don't tell them 😁

Exactly!! He was like "so I was reading your blog". I'm like what the fuck! I edit a blog for work.

No one admits to that surely. Maybe I should be flattered. I think (and saying this as a mental health professional) he may be on the spectrum. Just the way he words certain things and also said he struggles socially. We shall see!

@scotgal2017 Snapchat is used for whatever you want it to be used for. I use it a lot but mainly just between friends and not for anything dodgy.
Pics last 10 seconds maximum then disappear and chats disappear once you open and read them so I suppose it's an app of choice for people who don't want a record of their convo.
I hate chatting on there because I can never remember what I've said 😂

@removalizer it's so shit isn't it. Have had another couple of messages this evening. It's just like it was before we met and so it's difficult. He even left the door open by saying he didn't want to be in a relationship with me at the moment. Now this. It's a headfuck and my own fault for contacting him.

@wishywashy6 thanks for the headsup on Snapchat, I'm doomed if he wants to use that then because I have the same problem as you lol.

He is online now and hs read messages and nothing, why am i getting myself so invested???? I've managed to play it cool with others and with him up to now, there's just something about him that has me wondering what it would be like to date him.....very frustrating....

@Leighhalfpennysthigh Another lady used to play those games with me I was head over heels and she used that to screw me around, still in contact with her but the tables have turned now as I leave her alone for weeks and it really winds her up

@scotgal2017 it's also worth adding that I added a few guys from OLD on there at their request and most either wanted to send the usual dick pic (oh joy, another penis 🙄) or constantly bombarded me with "send me a pic" messages .... either one got the same response of jog on you bore

Morning guys, I've decided I'm not going on any of the dating apps today as it is stressing me out and taking up my life. Time to get back to me...Mr 4amguy has been online again early this morning and still not message or even an invitation to kik from him now he has my username....time to put my big girl pants on and step back, if he wants me Hess going to have to chase a bit.

@scotgal2017 definitely worth taking a step back for your own sanity. I'm feeling disillusioned with it all so just trying to keep my head up coming up to Christmas and not get bogged down wishing and hoping I get that connection! x

I don't know why but I've always had an uneasy feeling about using kik. Can't explain it!

Now now ladies that's not the attitude it's nearly Christmas party time get out there and enjoy yourself, life's too short, loads of guys out there waiting for you just go ask

Good call Scotsgirl. Step back and regroup.

I have my date this Saturday. Going to his city as Christmas lights are turned on that night so will be a lovely buzz and fireworks.

Been talking a few weeks and although physically he isn't my type (never dated a bald man) he is funny, thoughtful, tall, lovely accent and hard-working (all things I like).

We've already said we will either end up lovers or friends. I am just going to enjoy myself. If nothing else, I've a new friend. :)

scotgal when it's not fun, it's time to stop. Find something else to occupy your time. It's hard, I know, but put your phone out of reach and don't be tempted to look at it.

removalizer I've had 18 first dates this year. Probably a similar number last year. I started off meeting anyone who asked but quickly realised that most weren't right and it was taking too much of my time. So now I only agree to a date if I think they'll be compatible. And I still get it wrong!

@scotgal2017 if he wants me he's going to have to chase a bit. Keep that thought, you are the prize.

Have got my second date sleepover with Mr Abs tonight. He's admitted he's completely smitten so that makes 2 of us. We're not even bothered about playing it cool anymore . There's no game playing, no angst, just a really lovely connection. He's just a lovely normal guy who seems to think I'm a lovely normal girl, but I know I need to keep my sensible head on, it's early days.

myoldbrain your advice that it it's not fun stop. After a day wallowing about my 'dumped' status I have reflected and realize that apart from when I was with the bloke I was mainly waiting/hoping for his very intermittent text messages....pathetic, it wasn't fun and I've really enjoyed 24 hours not hoping for a text!

@JeSuisPrest that sounds brilliant ☺️
Keep your sensible head on for definite, but enjoy it for what it is!
That's exactly what I was meaning when I said yesterday about clicking with someone and it suddenly feels easy, it's a lovely feeling