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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Support for Spook 3

413 replies

ponygirl · 28/08/2004 21:33

Here it is!

OP posts:
moomina · 13/09/2004 13:40

Spook - it's exactly what I would have done, for good or for bad. Words seem a bit useless now - just hang on in there, one day at a time, all the other platitudes that I bet you are sick of hearing sometimes! Thinking of you on this tough day.

Blu · 13/09/2004 13:40

Anoraks message is lovely - and right.

sobernow · 13/09/2004 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spook · 13/09/2004 14:23

Thanks everyone. Well I tried. He is not even big enough to respond. As usual-just hopes it will all go away if he ignores it. Is there nothing this man can do to surprise me now. Today has been a BAD day. Soon I will go and collect my babies and try and forget. Shit shit and double shit. I need a new life and I need it pronto.

Blu · 13/09/2004 15:00

Sorry, Spook.

He probably will respond in some way or another - probably to say 'well you served divorce papers' 'you locked me out' blah blah. Take no notice. You know exactly what he put into the destruction of your marriage.

A horrible day, but one that won't have to happen again.

Take care.

spook · 13/09/2004 16:12

Here we have it.

Sorry, Gems, I cant respond by packing my bags and coming home just
like that. Let's talk about the house/move etc. but move where?
On a lighter note, how comical does Finn look in his uniform?-Looks like he should have a catapult in his pocket, not cute at all, straight out of
the Beano!

Oh well. Got my babies now and Beccarollover on her way over with her babies. It can only get better. Thanks for all being there on this shite of all shitiest days.

anorak · 13/09/2004 16:16

Arrogant pig.

He thinks he can tell you what your new life is going to be...don't you dare let him!

Have a glass of wine with becca for me. I'm with you in spirit girl. xxx

soapbox · 13/09/2004 16:45

Spook - what a T**T

I actually think it would have been better if he had not reponded rather than respond like that!

And How dare he say your DS2 did not look cute All boys look cute on their first day at school!

anorak · 13/09/2004 16:49

'on a lighter note'...

Blu · 13/09/2004 16:51

Hold tight, Spook. Sorry it's been like this. You tried, you tried for you and you tried for the boys, and it is to your great credit and strength, generosity and love, that you would have tried, despite everything.

'but move where?' your answer, wherever that may be, is nearer to that rainbow, which has happiness waiting for you. However long it takes, it will wait, and you will get there.

XXXXX

JuniperDewdrop · 13/09/2004 17:39

Grrrr at his lightheartedness on this awful day
(((hugs))) to you and the boys spook xx

spook · 13/09/2004 18:54

Oh girls. I didn't think it was so bad. Never say never...am I living on Planet Spook again???

Beccarollover · 14/09/2004 10:02

How you doing today hunny - back at work today and bored.....you about?

Hope you had a peaceful sleep last night to put an end to a horrible day

Blu · 14/09/2004 10:28

How do you mean, Spook? I think most of us took the 'lets talk about the house/move - but move where' to mean that he wanted to talk about selling up - and proceeding with the divorce, presumably - but 'where' to mean discuss whether you would go ahead and take the boys to london.

I agree that it is good that he didn't go into 'stuff', and was making an attempt at being freindly in reference to the boys.

But that was yesterday. How are you today?

spook · 14/09/2004 10:46

Hi Becca and Blu. I'm not too bad today thanks. Trying really hard to keep busy-which isn't difficult in this house. I thought it was yet another of his famous "open-ended" statements. The "just like that" meant he wasn't completely writing the idea off. Am I just putting my usual straw clutching slant on it???? Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

Beccarollover · 14/09/2004 10:58

I know what you mean spook - as i said to you yesterday when i read it the "just like that" implies that its possible but not right now

Blu · 14/09/2004 11:05

re weebles!
tbh, yes, the 'just like that' does add a smattering of ambiguity - but he goes on to say not 'lets talk' but 'lets talk about the house/move' - which didn't sound ambiguous at all to me.
But you have told him how you feel, without guise or guile, he didn't respond with an attack, and he is attempting to be freindly. Friendly is good - but he must be very aware that his position has been extra shaky since recent revelations and that he has to tread carefully - so personally I would not stray too far from Sea of Cynicism on Planet Spook!

Keep busy, keep as strong as you can XXXXX

spook · 14/09/2004 11:06

YES YES YES!!! If theres a straw to be clutched I'll find it. Becca-he's not responded to my last mail of yesterday. This one...
FJ looks as adorable as it's possible to look. He is my little baby. Little
fat knees between his socks and shorts are what get me every time.
I am going to move to London. I have tried to explain to you why. I'm not
sure if your revelations of last week were to try and stop that but I can't
quite take on board what happened between you and Fi so long ago. There's
not enough room in my head. And my friendshoip with her will overcome it. I
just can't lose someone else that I love dearly.
My life in Newcastle was great but it's not anymore. Too many memories and
people looking at me feeling sorry for me. And you and Katherine too close.
For the sake of the boys and yes-myself I need to find myself again and a
new start and a new life is the only way I can see that happening.
I know you don't want this and I don't either but I really have no choice. I
can't expect you to understand because you're not in my head space. Lucky
for you!
XXXX

Shall I just leave it for now or shall I mail him this morning asking if he's slept on it and got any thoughts because things really need to start moving for me???

Blu · 14/09/2004 11:09

It may be a good tactic to calmly proceed (as far as he is concerned, anyway) with your plans to move to london, start a business etc - tell him you realise that finances will be v different and you need a careeer and an income, and that London is the way for you to do it, and will also help you put your marriage behind you by moving away, as the reality of losing the boys really does seem to get to him.

But you would need to do that in full calm, strong mode and not yell at him.....

Blu · 14/09/2004 11:11

Posts crossed.

Good e mail, Spook - I would leave him to stew and not follow him up on it - that makes you look desparate. Hang on in there....

spook · 14/09/2004 11:15

Thanks Blu. I do think you're right. You know me. Rush rush rush. I would like him home by supper time .Promise I'll sit tight.

Beccarollover · 14/09/2004 11:30

Your DS still makes me chuckle - he is the goddam cutest thing Ive ever known - I still cant get over his face when he fell over the bannister last night and just got up again and on to the next adventure...........ahhhhhhhh I really could take him home

Blu · 14/09/2004 11:33

Fell over the bannister????
Call soscial services - that Spook hasn't got enough to worry about, after all!

spook · 14/09/2004 11:34

He is a funny little bunny.He makes me smile too (and scream sometimes-usually when we're sat in casualty) You're not doing too badly yourself you know. The boys had definate twinkles in their eyes when they were talking about your DD last night and I am still finding bits of spaghetti in unusual places from Jnr Rollover!!

spook · 14/09/2004 11:35

He had his policemans helmet on Blu-luckily that broke his fall and saved us from yet ANOTHER trip to A&R.

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