My partner is packing his bags because I said I was going out.

[kt1009]

Just that really.

Asked him what he wanted to do tonight, he said nothing. He's been at work all day. Fair enough.

Said I might go and meet my friends for a bit, he's told me I take the "piss out of him". And he's currently packing his bags.

I don't want to split up but surely I haven't done anything wrong here????!!!!

How long has this ‘sitting in separate rooms’ been going on?

Are you going to stay at your friends tonight or will one of them go home with you & stay at yours? I’d be worried he’d up later hammering on the door.

Whose name is on the tenancy/deeds?

All my name and I can afford to stay alone, not easily but I'll manage!

Behaviour has only gotten like this since I conceived! Although, I wonder if I was being naive before that?

I'll be ok. I have good people around me and when he calms down I know he will realise he's being an idiot and will apologise. What I don't know is what I want to do with that. But I guess I will cross that bridge tomorrow!

Well done, OP.
You are incredibly strong!

Behaviour has only gotten like this since I conceived! Although, I wonder if I was being naive before that?

This is actually classic abusive behaviour, a real red flag.

Ah. It looks like he now feels he can show his true colours

He wants you at home, at his beck and call, pregnant and being an obedient little woman

Glad you’ve gone out

Huge well done for calling him on it, just from th information you’ve posted he is a grade A wanker. He really wants you in your place before the baby comes, so it’s even more important that you get rid of him now.

Behaviour has only gotten like this since I conceived! Although, I wonder if I was being naive before that?

Two quotes from the NHS website on domestic abuse:

Pregnancy can be a trigger for domestic abuse, and existing abuse may get worse during pregnancy or after giving birth.

(Signs of emotional abuse)
Emotional abuse:
Does your partner ever:
blame you for the abuse or arguments?
isolate you from your family and friends?
make unreasonable demands for your attention?
tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?

I'm glad you've gone out with your friends. Talk to them. Let them be there for you. It's what friends are for.

Just caught up on your thread. Have a lovely night out OP xx

Did he actually leave the house, OP? I would get someone to go in with you when you get back because I think he will be there having gone nowhere!

You sound amazing and strong OP. Have a good night with your friends.

Sounds like you could do far better than him.

Good for you for going out.

Hope you're ok. You're probably home at this point(?) and I hope you got no trouble from him.

If he raises a hand to you, call police. Do not second guess yourself.

Pregnancy is often the occasion for abusive behaviour to come right out in the open. It never goes back in again.

Well done OP, I’m pleased you’ve stood your ground.

As pp said abuse gets worse in pregnancy so be careful. Especially if an apology comes with the ‘being nice’ part of abuse.

Enjoy your night.

Please don’t marry him, this is exactly what my ex did to me. Stupidly I married him anyway and it escalated ten times over. I had 23 yrs of a marriage that felt like a prison. You could spend the rest of your life modifying your behaviour just to keep the peace.

Even if he apologises and promises never to do it again, I wouldn’t trust him. Go out again next week and see what happens.

Well done for standing firm. I’d have a think about what you want from a relationship before inviting him back.

Definitely a nutter. Good riddance to bad rubbish

Well done for being strong and not backing down. He's showing you his true colours and you've done well to show him that you won't be the obedient little wife he expects. Have a good time with your friends and try to put him out of your mind for a few hours xx

Kook at this, and do get the book. It will be an eye opener I suspect.
freedomprogramme.co.uk/

Well done! And don't blame yourself too much for not having spotted he was a shit before you got PG: men like this only really ramp it up once you are pregnant or otherwise vulnerable. But I bet, if you think about it a bit, there will have been quite a lot of times in the past where it was 'easier' to let him have his own way over... pretty much everything. Because if he didn't get his own way he would sulk, or cry, or shout, or tell you that you 'didn't know how to be in a relationship' or some other bullshit that would make you give in.

Now that you are carrying 'His' Child, He can revet back to who he really is. I fear this will get worse.

He thinks you are now Traped.
I hope I am wrong

((((((Madd Hugs))) OP

Hope he really has gone and that it's a wake up call for him.

I hope you’re having a well deserved brilliant night out. His behaviour is a massive red flag. If you don’t stomp on it now then your life is going to be hell when the baby arrives. You won’t ever get to go out and you’ll have no life until the baby is grown up. You’re best to get rid of him and let him have access to the baby so you can have your me time and get to go out when he is looking after your child. There’s no way you are taking the piss. How often have you been out in the last year? I’ve got two little kids and I go out with friends at least once a month.

So glad you didn't back down. He seemed intent on spoiling your evening, expecting you to say 'oh no baby don't leave me, I will stay in'
His plan didn't work.
Try and enjoy tonight! Have a good relax and do NOT call him tomorrow! He will be back soon locking his wounds.

In the meantime, have a think about things/reasons he might have for being an utter idiot and decide if this is something you can move forward from. If not, then be straight with him...but do not over stress yourself out. 

Call his bluff and let him do it, go out, and let him calm down.

My DH has once or twice had some bizarre overreactions to minor things - not packing his bags, but one 'funny turn' where he declared I had lost his trust forever over something so trivial it was nonsensical (and we have never, before or since then, had any trust issues), but got over it and apologised 24 hours later. Never got to the bottom of the reason for that particular outburst, but still together.

I wonder if this could be partner expressing some kind of existential panic about having a child?

It will be interesting to see what his excuse is when he contacts you again. Is it possible he is overwhelmed by baby and not knowing how to express himself?