My husband is fat

[wingingatlife]

Ok, not morbidly. He's 5'10 and 14 stone with a huge gut, moobs and love handles and frankly I don't fancy him. He's 38.

I've tried saying things jokingly, putting us both on a diet, I bought scales to have a challenge of who can lose the most. He sits down with this giant gut and it's gross. He's got a hugely sweet tooth so tried not buying treats but that's unfair on the kids. Very occasionally he'll run or play golf but never weights or abs stuff.

Bottom line - I don't fancy him at all.

I think the OP's DH would look fat at that weight, especially as men do tend to get flabby round the waist. I said earlier that my DH is about the same weight at 6'5 in height, and he's still a 36 inch waist, so not all that slim. (He's got nothing on his legs at all, though.)

So I'm not surprised the OP's DH looks overweight.

OP didn't mention her DH's drinking habits as far as I could see. If you're still reading this, OP, and he drinks at all, him stopping drinking is the first step to losing weight, not just because of the calories in alcohol, but the poor choices of food when "relaxed".

I see all these posts suggesting ways OP can get her husband to change, so she fancies him again. Maybe she might be better asking him how he feels about himself. Because you know what, he might actually be happy with how he looks. I think the way she has spoken about him on here is quite frankly disgusting. And I suggest he might be better off losing the 8 stone that is her.
And we all know that is the advice everyone here would be giving if the OP was a man talking this way about his wife. In fact there is a thread going on right now proving my point.

That thread has been deleted due to its goady nature. Says a lot about the double standards exhibited by some on these boards. Not all, not by a long chalk, but enough to see a marked difference in average attitudes to male and female posters.

I think that's due to the fact that there are far more female posters than male posters, and there is a very strong bias towards the female point of view.

OP was understandably repelled by her husband's greediness as well as his appearance.

Yup, that thread, even if it wasn't real, was a fantastic display of good old MN double standards.

Woman, Husband is fat and I don't fancy him anymore - poor you, he needs to get off his fat arse and exercise.

Man, Wife is fat and I don't fancy her anymore, You evil bastard, you deserve to be lynched. One poster even called him a pervert because he liked her being slim.

As you were

As a person earlier said, sexual attraction and love are intrinsically linked for some people. They are for me. If I stopped fancying someone it would be the first step in the road to falling out of love.

YY at the MN double standards. If this was a man posting about his wife he would get asked if there was an OW on the horizon.

And yet and yet................nine pages in ive only seen this question asked once.

So to counteract these awful double standards obviously no one will object if i ask the OP if there is an OM on the horizon.

So is there?

Do I have to fancy fat people?

Is it obligatory?

It's not double standards. Many people don't find fatters

Fatters

Jeysus.

Do you intrinsically find fat people dead sexy?

@ILikeYourHairyHands. If a man had posted he would be getting asked if he had had his head turned. If we cant ask the same question of this OP then its double standards.

Oh and im perfectly aware of how people feel as i used to be ten stone heavier. After i lost the weight i was asked out by someone who had made nasty comments about my weight in the past.

Saying no to him was better than an orgasm!

i had the best sex of my life with an overweight man.

Send him to me

I'm 5' 10 and weigh over 15 stone I'm not fat in fact quite the opposite.

im not turned on by people who smell like old ashtrays Each to their own i guess

That thread has been deleted due to its goady nature

It was deleted because the OP was a barely literate troll, not because of double standards. It’s a shame, because it IS an interesting conversation to have.

Maybe someone with a better grasp of subtlety and nuance (and English) could start another thread.

My DH is morbidly obese. I am crazy in love with him in all ways.

That's so sweet @EcruTable

Be careful what you wish for. Dh got serious about his sport and healthy eating and has a body like the cover of men’s health. My lovely but bonkers neighbour after a few drinks was saying how she oggles him daily. I am normal 40 ish size 12 in a good day and a friend said recently how good it was that I was so relaxed and didn’t feel the need to be super fit myself to keep up! Need to up my game!

What vile comments by @ILikeyourHairyHands why would you be that rude about anyone? And why would you mock other people's preferences? They're allowed to find 'fatters' attractive, just as you're allowed not to. But there's no need at all to be so rude.

And you can't even insult properly. The word is 'fatty' not 'fatter', which is a comparative adjective.

HTH