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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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I KNOW SOMETHING I DONT WANT TO KNOW.

173 replies

WOMANTALK · 28/10/2018 18:39

I know a close person to me is having an affair on their husband (it's my partner's aunt and uncle) the uncle is my partner's mums brother.. so the auntie is by marriage. We will call them Susan and John Well.... I know that Susan is having an affair on her husband who is my partner's uncle by blood. We are both close to them , nearly more so me than my partner even is. There has been several things to suggest for CERTAIN she is.. several people have also heard of it even some of their neighbours. I don't agree with this sort of behaviour atall clearly, they have a family oldest son is 19, he could even hear this out and about.
I don't want this to happen and I don't want news to travel back in an even more hurtful way. So ... I asked Susan to my home when I was by myself, and I confronted her about it. I told her that several people have been talking about it and she denied it? I told her that maybe she should still say to her husband that there are rumours so he doesn't hear it from someone else and maybe get the wrong end of the stick. She was looking me right in the face and really didn't seem put out by what I told her.. at the beginning I thought maybe everything is blown out of proportion maybe all the details are wrong.... But nah... She was TOOOOOO calm. There deff can't be any other explanation for the goings on. So I'm gutted she lied to my face. I said im just giving her the opportunity to beable to tell her husband before someone else did and she said oh absolutely and hugged me and then said "I will go straight up to the house now and tell him". .. well she never went straight to the house? She never came bk until several hours later... She didn't tell him!! So now.... Do you think the information should be passed on to John? It's really going to devastate him, but then... She should've thought about that before she done this.

OP posts:
YelenaSabra · 29/10/2018 14:22

I wouldn't say anything.

WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 14:23

Thank you @ILoveHumanity , I really appreciate your support under this post. I agree also, they ask me have I nothing else to do with my life, even though it's my post and I asked for advice but they're stuck underneath it waiting for the next comments that go against what they say. That's a sad life if you ask me. I don't have to justify myself to complete Randomers I don't even know and are pathetic bullies that say all behind the internet. 😭😐. And infact everyone's advice to say not to tell John was crap advice because he is upset now that I never told him as Susan has said I told her about there was rumours...

OP posts:
wrongendofthisdick · 29/10/2018 14:24

everyone's advice to say not to tell John was crap advice because he is upset now that I never told him as Susan has said I told her about there was rumours...

Sounds like material for another thread...does John now think you are a shite friend? I do hope not! Shock

WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 14:24

Let's face it Susan wasn't going to tell me that she was having an affair especially when my husband is blood and I'm equally as close to him. She never told anyone!!!!

OP posts:
wrongendofthisdick · 29/10/2018 14:25

Sounds like Susan keeps her cards close to her chest. The quiet ones are always the worst Grin

ILoveHumanity · 29/10/2018 14:31

Op about hour question, I can understand how you are torn between feeling some form of loyalty to John and the family and wanting to protect his hurt feelings, and some for disappointment at Susan and wanting to help her see things without things turning bad for her either.

Sounds like the topic of affairs is very important for you. It is for me too. I wouldn’t know what to do in this situation if I’m honest. Would be panicking a bit too.

However, now that he knows, don’t worry about them being upset from u. Like a PP said, let him know that you wanted him to hear it from susan and give her a chance to explain it her way and that you spoke to her the previous day. I’m sure he will be able to see it.

But for now, he has to deal with all his complex feelings so I guess pray for them.

Stay supportive to the family. You sound like a very caring friend.

The type of friend many pp on this thread don’t seem to have , and so the dynamic is a mystery.

ILoveHumanity · 29/10/2018 14:33

*your question

Sorry for the typos ;),

But let’s face it, me and you are real people and we are worried more about the message than nitpicking flaws, so it might not have bothered you as much. ;)

wrongendofthisdick · 29/10/2018 14:33

Let them know that anytime one of them feel like a bit of extra-marital in the future, they MUST tell you so you can help and support them as all caring friends would like to do.

BlancheM · 29/10/2018 14:46

John is now upset that I never told him as Susan said that I said that they said that she said ect

This is why you should have kept out of their business.

Orchardgreen · 29/10/2018 14:52

I’m only commenting here because I love the idea of being a Randomer
Grin

DBN1 · 29/10/2018 15:18

wrongendofthisdick you're like a dog with a bone aren't you? A complete GF! Leave the OP alone, for fucks sake. What a nasty piece of work you are Angry

gamerchick · 29/10/2018 15:24

And infact everyone's advice to say not to tell John was crap advice because he is upset now that I never told him as Susan has said I told her about there was rumours

And if you had kept out of it in the first place you would be an innocent party and able to support your friend.

WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 15:30

Yes exactly @iLoveHumanity , great advice thanks. If they were all like you there would be no problems. 🙌
thewrongsideofthisdick you carry-on thinking you are clever, witty and whatever else you think you are. You clearly think you are something to be able to talk to people this way. You posting on here is just absolute pointless.
Do something productive with your day!!

OP posts:
wrongendofthisdick · 29/10/2018 15:33

you're like a dog with a bone aren't you? A complete GF! Leave the OP alone, for fucks sake. What a nasty piece of work you are

Yeah, I've been swearing at the OP, calling her names... oh wait....no I haven't Grin

wrongendofthisdick · 29/10/2018 15:34

You posting on here is just absolute pointless

How would you know? This thread could be giving my life infinite purpose Grin

WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 15:43

Well if it is your life needs some adjustments🤔👀

OP posts:
wrongendofthisdick · 29/10/2018 15:44

Well if it is your life needs some adjustments

Nah, I'm happy the way I am, thanks. Never needed to start a thread in MN either. No problems here Grin

WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 15:49

I don't either 🤔... Sure why need to start one when you get so involved in other people's threads.

OP posts:
WitchesWeb · 29/10/2018 15:49

I'm not a child trying to interfere randomly in a Randomers business fucking deluded people.

Hmm

I think I would know this by now. It's me who they come to regarding their problems with eachother. IM ONE OF THEIR FUCKING CLOSEST FRIENDS OF 17YEARS

Well obviously not as close as you think since no one told you. Why are you shouting?

wrongendofthisdick · 29/10/2018 15:55

I don't either

That's nice, then. We have something in common at least Smile

Sure why need to start one when you get so involved in other people's threads

Yes, no need for my own thread with the time I spend on this one thread. Thanks for creating it Grin

NotTheFordType · 29/10/2018 16:05

Holy fucking shitballs.

FoofOfTheWalkingDead · 29/10/2018 16:11

OP: Should I do A or should I do B?
Responses: Mostly A's.
OP: How could you possibly say A?!? they're my besties, wouldn't you want someone to say B to you?
Responses: Still mostly As with a few B outliers
OP: Thank you B voters, you are truly caring . All of you A voters are horrible people with no lives who don't care and would probably crush puppies under your tyres for fun.

Hmm
WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 16:14

Well the thing is I don't even need anything answered anymore and people are still sending their comments in..
What's the point? Serves no purpose.

OP posts:
DBN1 · 29/10/2018 16:14

WOMANTALK don't bother feeding the troll, she's not worth the effort. Also, all the holier-than-thou others, sad people.

How's your husband's uncle? Do you know if his wife has talked to him yet?

For what it's worth, I think you were in an impossible situation - damned if you do, damned if you don't. Flowers

Gingerlover2 · 29/10/2018 16:15

I prefer kittens myself, they make a far better noise Grin

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