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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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I KNOW SOMETHING I DONT WANT TO KNOW.

173 replies

WOMANTALK · 28/10/2018 18:39

I know a close person to me is having an affair on their husband (it's my partner's aunt and uncle) the uncle is my partner's mums brother.. so the auntie is by marriage. We will call them Susan and John Well.... I know that Susan is having an affair on her husband who is my partner's uncle by blood. We are both close to them , nearly more so me than my partner even is. There has been several things to suggest for CERTAIN she is.. several people have also heard of it even some of their neighbours. I don't agree with this sort of behaviour atall clearly, they have a family oldest son is 19, he could even hear this out and about.
I don't want this to happen and I don't want news to travel back in an even more hurtful way. So ... I asked Susan to my home when I was by myself, and I confronted her about it. I told her that several people have been talking about it and she denied it? I told her that maybe she should still say to her husband that there are rumours so he doesn't hear it from someone else and maybe get the wrong end of the stick. She was looking me right in the face and really didn't seem put out by what I told her.. at the beginning I thought maybe everything is blown out of proportion maybe all the details are wrong.... But nah... She was TOOOOOO calm. There deff can't be any other explanation for the goings on. So I'm gutted she lied to my face. I said im just giving her the opportunity to beable to tell her husband before someone else did and she said oh absolutely and hugged me and then said "I will go straight up to the house now and tell him". .. well she never went straight to the house? She never came bk until several hours later... She didn't tell him!! So now.... Do you think the information should be passed on to John? It's really going to devastate him, but then... She should've thought about that before she done this.

OP posts:
Dadaist · 29/10/2018 08:06

OP - if this was about John having an affair and whether you should tell Susan - the responses would have been completely different and there is no way you would have been flamed as you have by some posters.
You should tell John what you have said to Susan - and his reaction will be enough.

NotTheFordType · 29/10/2018 08:23

"Having an affair on him" is the funniest thing I've read since Terry Pratchett died

Littlechocola · 29/10/2018 08:48

Ignore the vultures op.
Hope everything works out.

EmmaGhostGhoul · 29/10/2018 08:59

To be fair, John and Susan may have an open marriage. Particularly if she's not being exactly subtle about her extra-curricular activities. I can appreciate your concerns but no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors. I'd keep quiet, and offer support if everything goes tits up.

Gingerlover2 · 29/10/2018 09:53

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WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 09:57

I can't believe people are still going on about my paragraphs spelling blah blah.. Im not doing an assignment, I don't have to do all that I'm on an app on my phone. I don't really care what my spelling is like or if I used paragraphs. I have a degree in biomedical science, not exactly uneducated!

OP posts:
WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 09:58

GingerLover2 your comments are irrelevant at this stage, your horrible.

OP posts:
WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 09:59

Sorry *YOU'RE Confused

OP posts:
WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 10:03

Also. "Having an affair on" is a commonly used phrase used in my area.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 29/10/2018 10:08

Look OP it's done now, just be a friend for support but other than that it's none of your business.

It's obvious you're talking of little else whether on here or IRL. Find something in your own life to occupy your time

gamerchick · 29/10/2018 10:09

Why people get so obsessed by other people's sex lives is beyond me.

NotTheFordType · 29/10/2018 10:11

Burngreave?

Gingerlover2 · 29/10/2018 10:20

Have you considered taking up a hobby other than drama ? Grin

Gingerlover2 · 29/10/2018 10:21

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WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 10:23

Have you ever thought of taking up a hobby also instead of trying to intimidate and bully people on the internet?

OP posts:
greendale17 · 29/10/2018 10:24

There seems to be a lot of idiots on this thread who condone cheating.

OP- I would definitely have told John. You have good intentions.

Gingerlover2 · 29/10/2018 10:30

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wrongendofthestick · 29/10/2018 10:32

Try not to think about it and put it to the back of your mind. There is nothing you can or should be doing about this.

Distract yourself - you must have plenty concerns of your own to get busy with, surely?

wrongendofthestick · 29/10/2018 10:35

Sounds like Susan and her lover are doing a little biological and physiological studying of their own Wink

WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 10:37

Nothing was over the top I explained the situation.. that was all. You on the other hand thought you could comment on other things even unrelated to my question.
Sorry to tell you the internet is for everyone, but no matter where you are or where you're typing it's not ok to talk to people the way you do!

OP posts:
ILoveHumanity · 29/10/2018 10:37

Wow this thread if full of women thinking to have an affair or done so already and are intimidated that if this did/would do, someone like OP would be feeling sorry for their DP.

Otherwise why they getting so worked up about an innocent query is beyond me.

ILoveHumanity · 29/10/2018 10:38

*is full of women

  • if they did/would do.
ILoveHumanity · 29/10/2018 10:39

Womantalk im gonna report the bullies. Plz do that too.

Likeshyt · 29/10/2018 10:40

OP it’s common knowledge that if you respond to trolls that’s them winning.. Stop replying to the twats man. They’re the ones who love the drama... or they wouldn’t comment and wait for a response to reply to cause more drama 😱🤔😂 and who ever commented about if the affair was on the woman, the response would be different is spot on. Poor guy.

WOMANTALK · 29/10/2018 10:49

Yeah thanks @LikeShyte and @ILoveHumanity , I shouldn't have to worked up to their comments, felt attacked almost. I won't be responding again to them. And just to say They don't have an "open marriage" I think I would know this by now. It's me who they come to regarding their problems with eachother, I know for a FACT that John would've been devastated. It's a sad day for their family and it's even more sad that Susan isn't even been given a chance now at all to explain her side of the story as his family aren't willing to even give her a chance to explain.

OP posts: