Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Good cuddles = can’t keeps hands to himself

mid not fussy, I could add to that list

Men holding a baby
Men holding baby tiger
Men smoking a cigar
Men that use a group photo so you don’t actually know which one is him.
Men taking selfies with a toilet in the background.

I am fussy

I'll add men putting on photos with the ex girlfriend/wife cropped out. Particularly bad if they are wearing their wedding suit...

@midcenturylegs I'm the same with swiping, I almost feel a sad sense of relief when there are no further matches, and then I realise I have no one!

Men holding kids literally just NO! stop doing that. You're not a male model on a poster. This is a damn dating site.

Men staring down at the camera. This is not a good angle for mere mortals and doesn't fill a woman with confidence. I wonder if they think it makes them look tall?

midcenturylegs That's pretty much my list, I'd add photos of them camping/hiking/at the gym/in bed.

I also judge their wallpaper, curtains and soft furnishings.

Can I add to the list?

Photos in bed
Topless photos
All photos in sunglasses

I camp, hike and gym so neither of those bother me as long as they are not flexing muscles in the gym.

Was going to say photos in bed or the bath are a no no. I would rather see someone doing an activity, love a man that surfs but not many men look good in a wetsuit.

Well I’ve swiped through the whole of London’s Bumble men for the reasons outlined. There are so few decent profiles.

Ok so cuddles is codeword for great in bed....

@Lovemusic33 I also don't mind photos of camping, hiking.. I like those too in moderation. Ex was a tour skier and ice climber though so that stretches it too far for me as I find climbers to be sometimes obsessive and it's an exclusive sport and I don't climb because I'm scared of heights. Ie being told I cannot join him for part of a month-long holiday because I wouldn't have fit in (even though I would have happily gone walking / scuba diving / reading in the sun without him).

I agree with the gym selfies though, eugh!

I have a disability that means walking/hiking are not possible for me, and sleeping in anything other than a proper bed isn't happening so I avoid men who are two outdoorsy.

Oh the education doesn't bother me. Some of the brightest and smartest people I know didn't go to university.

I don't like too many photos in Lycra (one is fine and enough), fish pics, bathroom pics. Gym pics are fine as long as it's just one and not all of them.

Also i avoid the ones on bumble where they have written nothing. I mean come on, just try a little?!

An instant no is men sticking their tongue out. Why?!

Haa haa kids or former partners with heads redacted with pineapples, unicorns or smileys. I’ve seen a fair few where the child is in the main shot and the guy is to side. Very weird. I also don’t like the ones of unattractive men with a stunning woman or famous person in the shot.

Argh why do I find it so hard not to overinvest emotionally?Really keen on Mr Weekend still and still
been lots of contact between us.We’ve made plans for 3 meet ups over the next week.

@koko well tbf it sounds like the feeling's mutual. Maybe the rule should be never invest more than the other person! Falling in love is basically overinvestment surely

I go for men who are outdoorsy but agree about climbers (I’m not keen on heights). I would happily live outside for half the year but when it gets cold I hibernate . I look for outdoorsy people, people that sit indoors don’t do it for me. This just shows that we all like different things and what might not be atractive for some maybe more atractive to others.

Mr Hippie asked for a date and has now disappeared, not sure what I said wrong, I just said “that would be good” and told him what evenings I was free and I have heard nothing 😐

feel annoyed this morning as very attractive man who says he likes bright women sent me a message this morning saying I clearly wasn't interested as I hadn't sent him a message for a while. He had said nothing to me, asked no questions, just responded with monosyllabic answers to mine. He unmatched me immediately! Men pah!

and MrMusic, who I have deleted 3 times yet we've found ways to get back in touch and said on the weekend we should give things a go and see each other regularly then cancelled our date, has said he needs a month to sort himself out. ARGH Me hanging on for him is stopping me connecting to other people and is a mare as I haven't felt as strongly for anyone as i have for him. Walk away, walk away!

I need saving from myself.

Date still on for MrEmail tomorrow though red flags are now appearing. He's said he's funny about money (?! for a first date? not like we're going to Claridges darling!!). Date with Mr6kids looking more promising for Friday though he keeps saying he's worried about missing last train which for a first date would quite frankly be a miracle for me, I'm normally bored of them in under 2 hours and trying to fit in MrBodyguard on the weekend, only because he's so bloody fit.

no new chats though actually was pondering stoking some old ones till that twat unmatched me.

dawned on me this morning that I have only ever matched with people on bumble who have liked me first. Not sure I've ever had a sporadic matching!

@Daffo - Do not give that man a month (Mr Music) - Block him and do not reply to him next time he 'finds' you - he will string you along endlessly like this - and it will as you say be keeping you back from finding someone who is reliable as well as intriguing/hot/funny. They're out there and nobody deserves less.

I will supercali. It's just frustrating as I'm so good at boundaries but for some reason, he circumvents mine ;).

I've got a really busy pre xmas diary so i won't be worrying about it too much, it's just frustrating!

@Daffo - I know....we've all done it, it's because they're usually charismatic bastards!

supercali you are so right! They always are!

need to focus on the ones that are actually emotionally available. All those ones never are. Bastards!

@supercali - that is some of the most supportive advice. Ditch that man @daffodefo he is 💯 playing you like a fiddle...... Go No contact for a month and if he is still pursuing you then by all means see where it leads but do not give him another second of your time!

yes and I didn't thank you. So thank you :). It's always good to hear advice like that. Especially when you know it's right and just need handholding to get there! x

@daffo, it's so hard ! I was smitten with someone earlier this year and it took me ages to let go. We had six weeks of whirlwind chemistry and he changed his mind..we then stayed in contact for ages.

We went no contact in July. He's blocked me I think but I've deleted all his details so I'm not sure.
My peace of mind took a while to come back but don't miss him now. It's hard I know.

I'm looking forward to my coffee with Mrtall. Fwb over later, let's hope he's in the mood 🙄