okay i need opinions guys as certain things I'm thinking are taking up too much headspace. as this is the first guy i have met since my marriage ended and the first time I have been in the dating world i may be missing things that scream "red flag" or "that's so obvious!" to others. Also just to add, my grandad passed away yesterday but we haven't been close for a long time so i don;t think it's just being emotional due to the circumstances.
Okay, i have posted a few times about Mr cheekybanter. this post may get TMI and some people may disagree with my actions but i'm (now after abusive ex) a firm believer in doing what feels right, going with the flow and picking myself up and dusting off if it doesn't work (heck I did it a million times or more in my marriage)
Anyway i'm rambling but this may be a long post. As said before MrCheekyBanter messaged me first on POF. He did not have a photo. His first message wasn't the generic hi so i replied and said he sounded interesting. He sent me photos and although not a looker the conversation flowed (although he was quite sexual from the off). I sent him some photos of me and he said I was exactly what he wanted etc. We arranged to meet, and the first time we sat in his car and talked for 2 hours straight. It was very natural and he got a cheeky snog at the end of the evening. he kept saying i was more beautiful than he thought and I made him nervous ina good way etc. Also just to mention, we talked briefly about kids, exes etc but he did not say much about his recent ex except that she had gone off with a guy. He said that he had had a stalker in a previous relationship and that he had been in an abusive relationship himself so knew where i was coming from )i know from MN that this can be a red flag).
I went home and we kept messaging. he suggested moving to Kik, to whch i said, i've heard that Kik is only for married men wanting hookups and he said no, he uses it all the time. We moved to Kik...wasn';t long before i got videos of a certain part of his anatomy......at this stage I was fine to just go along as we had met in person and we did click. he wanted to meet again 2 days after initial meeting, so we met same place and time, again 2 hours in his car....but I had told him some of what he waqs saying made me uncomfortable (which I had posted about here) and that i wasn't naive. he said okay well, you can go and then put his case to me to say he wanted to still see me. None of this was done in an aggressive way which was refreshing after constant arguments with ex. We had a few cheeky snogs at the end of this date.
Since then as posted, he has been very sexual and we arranged last week for him to come to mine. he did and we DTD and it was great. When we are in person it is natural and as you would expect a dating couple to be (laughing, joking etc).
I;m now struggling as he seems to have backed off and I'm not being "lovebombed". On Kik our messages are very generic and sexual....there is very little conversation from him about anything else and I don;t want to bring it up over text. It's got so generic, he even sent me a video of his anatomy that he had sent me a week ago, so now i'm beginning to wonder if he isn't as single as he is trying to make out? he says he shares a flat with a guy.....
Really, I understand i really don;t know much about this man but I'm beginning to wonder if I ever will and whether he is just getting his kicks with me because he can get away with it. There's been no suggestion about meeting in a public place (especially near where he lives) even for a coffee, so am i just a FWB? I don;t have a problem with this as long as I know that that is what we are....he says he isn;t "dating" anyone else but I really don;t know if that is true...he says he wears his heart on his sleeve but anyone can keep things a secret couldn't they? we live an hour apart and can't see esach other every few days so it's a tricky one...I decided to send him a message to say "am i not getting a video this week?". He has said he will send one later and I'm waiting to see if he sends a previous one as i think if he does I'm just going to end it there and then. It;s strange, but he sends love heart messages, all his messages end with an x and have done since pretty much the first time we met. Part of me is trying to convince myself that a married man wouldn't bother himself with the xx's or love hearts and wouldn't be sending sweet messages interspersed with the sex talk, especially now that he has had his itch scratched. honestly, i'm just tying myself in knots at the moment. I think if it doesn;t end tonight, next time I see him i'll be having a frank talk with him to get more info about him and his relationship history.... (he knows about mine really). any/all opinions/input greatly appreciated and sorry this post is soo long! p.s tried not to drip feed!!
PPS obviously if I find out he isn;t single he will be gone before you can say Lying bastard!!