Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

inmyshoes I have never met any man who wouldn't use a condom. And I've never slept with anyone under 40 - they are all late 40s/early 50s. Doesn't matter how old you are, you use a condom!

I think you need to use a condom....I can't see how you get around it. How would you know he went for the screening for example? It's just safer all round till you've decided you are only seeing each other

cool I just think it's odd that I haven't heard from him for ages and now suddenly he asks me this. I just wonder if he got pissed or something and got dutch courage. Given I haven't heard anything further from him, I just wonder if I'm going to get a message saying sorry I made a big mistake, I'll leave you be. He's one of those men that scares himself I think. Only time will tell. If I haven't heard from him by tomorrow, I'll send a message about something light hearted and see if he responds. I hate all this second guessing, it's really the worst thing for me!

Daffo thing is even if we were exclusive and been together I wouldn't be happy having unprotected sex until he had been screened. It's just how I feel. I'm not worried about chlamydia etc more hiv. It's real and doesn't go away after 6 months of being exclusive. You just never know. Low risk isn't no risk.
Fwiw i hate condoms because they make me really sore even with lots of lube etc.
We will just avoid penetration but even then, oral sex etc carries a risk too.
I just can't relax about it at all!

daffo also with regard to how you'd know they'd been tested, you get a pin number to call for your results. It's an automated service. I previously worked as a sexual health practitioner so there's no way he would be able to pull the wool over my eyes! He wouldn't do that anyway, he is genuinely a decent guy.

With regard to your texted daffo i would meet him! Why not? Keep your guard, prepare yourself for the worst and you'll only be pleasantly surprised. I'd be totally frank and honest with him. Along the line of 'the sex was fab but I'd like more, who can blame me, but I don't want to get messed around!' See what his chat is and make a decision. Good luck. Worst case scenario some more hot sex is on the cards

I understand the worry of having unprotected sex, it does make sense. I do think it's a bit much to ask someone to go for a full screening so early on if I'm honest with you but only you can gauge whether they are the type of person to take offence from it.

I had one before I started online dating. It actually picked up I had bacterial vaginosis (I had no symptoms) - I had a blood test and a swab done. One of my dates asked if I had had one done and I said i had so he did ask if he could see the results but it had the bacterial vaginosis on it (under the swab results) and he totally freaked out (even though it's not like that!). So now I think they can all use condoms!

daffo jeez clearly an idiot freaking out over a bit of bv!! I think given that a full sexual health screen can be done with urine test and a blood sample its no biggy, it used to be so much more invasive.
He's a decent guy, we are extremely comfortable together and having amazing chemistry so hopefully this won't throw a spanner in the works!
It's mutually beneficial after all

Let us know if you hear back from the hot sex guy. Think you should meet up amd hear him out at least

@inmyshoes have you tried aloe Vera after? Yes, around the labia! It's amazing. I'm always sore a day after sex with condoms but aloe Vera (pure) is a god send

Wow, I've put my extreme height (5 foot 9) on my Tinder profile and it's weeding them out like no-one's business! No more awkward dates for me. Well, just no more dates maybe.

I'm talking to a guy who has said nothing even vaguely naughty in four days. It's very refreshing

Super i did once but it stung like hell. Is that normal? I could persevere if so.

dog I'm 5ft 10. I wouldn't even think to mention that? Have you had issues with height before? My DD will struggle in the future if heights a problem as she is as tall as me at 12!

Inmyshoos, it's completely my problem - I don't fancy men shorter than me, and I've had awkwardness in the past when the height thing has come up late in the day. It just seemed fairer to put it in my profile so no-one's wasting any time. It does reinforce the suspicion though that men don't read profiles until after matching. See how they run.

My 23 year old DD is 6 foot. She now has a lovely bf (6 foot 1) but it took her a while. Luckily her generation seems to be taller than mine in general.

I would prefer someone my height or slightly taller. My exh was 6ft7 and actually it becomes annoying!! Gets in the way of so many things!!!

@inmyshoes yeah it stings a little right after you put it on but it heals the whole area

Yeah I put 'bugger off short arses'

No I didn't. I put my usual spiel, including signing off with a kiss, then just said 'oh and I'm 5'9". They can make of that what they will

My way of suggesting I wanted someone quite a bit taller than me without being mean (I'm only 5ft 6), was to say 'would like a guy to be able to rest his chin on the top of my head whilst cuddling me'. It's worked so far, never been messaged by anyone under 6ft. I love tall guys.

I'm sat here feeling pants about my situation. Had been seeing Mr BTO for 7 weeks, seen each other one a week on av and spent 3 whole weekend together.... All gong well if slowly. He's been away for work and I was away with my kids over half term. We spent the last free night we both had together. He's now been on the other side of the country for 1.5 weeks working. He said he'd send the "odd carrier pigeon"....and laughed when I said my womanly insecureties would surface if I didn't hear from him, he said he didn't think I had any insecurities and regards me as a "strong". He's not a texter and doesn't use social media at all, even when he's at home he'll text mainly only to make plans or the occasional "hours it going". Texting every 3-4 days is usual - he initiated convos a few times last week, lovely funny texts at intervals. He sent a text on Sat finishing with "more later xx" as he was working.... I've had nowt since and really don't want to look needy and reach out to him. Gah. Am an over invested fool.

I literally go weak at the knees over tall men.

Is it mean to mention height restrictions though? I see lots of men's profiles demanding outrageous things of women. Bet they don't think it's mean, just their entitlement

@coldlocation
I mean this in the nicest possible way but - WOMAN UP!!
You ARE a strong woman, and a strong woman would take the bull by the horns and send a quick message just checking in and asking how his weekend was/ when he fancies meeting up next/ or something witty and wonderful.
It's not a sign of weakness or neediness to take the lead unless you start bombarding him with 100's of messages.
Better than sitting watching your phone waiting on a man.
If he's not a great texter, what about a phone call?

@cold, just text him. It's been 2 days since you heard from him, hardly needy

I love tall men too, ideally 6 foot plus which is a bit greedy as I'm 5'4. The last guy I dates was 6'4 and he carried himself really well. We probably did look hilarious together though 😂.

@daffo, just keep your wits about you I guess with the guy who's come back. I hate second guessing people and end up being really direct which then usually freaks them out. Hey ho . The search continues for a strong, straight forward man.

#wishywashy# I'd sent first text on Sat... So feel next if I initate again, I don't usually! And phone call.... We have never spoken on the phone - I'm not a fan of phonecalls and that might freak him totally! His job is slightly unusual and he might be working til gone 11 or he might not.

wishywashy even.... Always get my # and * muddled

@coldlocation sorry if I sounded harsh, I meant it in a lovely way ☺️
I'm very direct generally and never paid much attention to who sent what text first as I really don't think it matters. If however you feel like it's really unbalanced and you're the one putting all the effort in then perhaps just stepping back and focusing on yourself for a while is the best option.
When is it likely that you'll be able to see him again?