Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

So reverse image search - if it comes up with no results for a pic is that good or bad?

I'm chatting to a guy I can't work out if he's dodgy!!

How did the date go today cold? Wondering if it is still on going

Queenofthedrivensnow Unfortunately reverse image search won't bring bring up a lot of stuff, especially if it's locked down. What makes you have suspicions?

Well I survived! Date was lovely - we met in a wet and windy cafe, and talked for 3 solid hours until he had to leave.

First impressions - he's not exactly my type looks wise, and bless him he was a bit nervous because I think he was well aware that he's punching above his weight (sorry, that sounds so arrogant - but I'm being honest) So I thought... hmm don't really fancy him, BUT we got on so well and had such a lovely chat I really liked him.

He has since messaged to say he had a lovely time, thinks I'm lovely and would really like to see me again. So I've got nothing to lose.

I'm so battered and bruised from my recent heartbreak, that it's just lovely and refreshing to have fun banter with a charming respectful man. I'm enjoying that.

@Queen - if your spidey senses are telling you he's dodgy... listen to them. Whats set them off?

cold Mr Roses isnt my type looks wise but he has so much going for him that i cant get enough! Id say enjoy the good chat etc. My exh was pretty good looking but he became so unattractive because of what he was like on the inside.

Hello
Can I join?
I’m in London and late 40s so pretty sure I will have chatted to some of the same men some of you have!
I’ve been on Bumble (Met a lovely man but unfortunately my anxiety got the better of me and he understandably ran a mile), then on OK Cupid. Had a couple of dates from there but they just didn’t go well, despite promising chats beforehand.
I’m now having a break because after a while I find it a bit soul destroying.
I might try Guardian Soulmates next.....

shit I dated a guy a couple of years ago like this, he seemed normal ish, I didn’t find him that atractive but I had a itch that needed scratching. In the bedroom her turned in to a dominating twat, I wasn’t allowed to do anything, touch anything and it was all a bit odd. He has continued to pester me asking for another chance, in the end I got quite angry with him and told we were not compatible in the bedroom and that I felt very uncomfortable. I hate it when a man thinks he can do what he likes to a woman he’s just met and expects her to not do anything back. If I was you I would run for the hills, sounds like a potential abuser to me

Being 99% tomboy, all my photos are natural, well one of me with slap on when I went out, but then still not filtered. Feeling a bit anoyed with myself this morning, Mr Cheekybanter hasn't been in contact for nearly 24 hours (I sent a good night message that has been delivered but not read) which isn't like him....so now, my mind is going to the negatives and I feel like I should have slowed down as I am only 95% healed from 20 years of abusive twatishness with STBXH....

shit I do think it’s porn related, I have had it happen a couple times. I prefer the guys who discus things first, the ones that ask what I like and don’t like. I’m up for trying most things but rather it be with someone I had been with for a while and feel comfortable with, not someone I have just met who’s acting like they are trying to act out a porn movie.

shit Urgh, sorry to hear it wasn't fun... but, at least you found out now before you waste any more time on him.

When will men learn - being kind, responsive and communicative in bed is waaaaay sexier than acting out a porn movie and waaaaay more likely to get them more sex. Sigh.

@ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway he's allergic to the telephone. Mind you my last date chatted for an hour and was nothing like that in person!

Oh God shit that sounds horrible. Id have felt the same like gtf off me beast ....

I really like confidence in the bedroom but that have to be coupled with gentleness and consideration. I know what I like and font like as I hope they would too but it's about being together, considering the other person. I hate all the rushed bang bang bang stuff, throwing you around like a doll when I'd rather be kissed until I'm spontaneously bursting out of my clothes like the hulk

Mr Roses better not be like that I'd be surprised because his chat is just so bloody amazing. We did have a bit of chat about sex last night, just confirming that we are both feeling the same but that we should get to know each other a bit first. Get a bit of hugging and kissing done! Can't wait I'm meeting him late afternoon for date no. 2!!

So shit are you going to give him a wide berth? Or try again? Maybe it was a nervous thing? Over confident to cover?

Hi hopeless don't give up. It's a numbers game. There are good guys out there I'm sure.

scotgal hate when that happens and you start all the negative thoughts. Just put them to the back of your mind, he could be busy with anything, get a long soak in the bath and remind yourself he's lucky you're interested in him!

@shit That sounds awful. I went with someone once who was so gentle and modest but after a few drinks!!

He was that rough with me I ended up crying that he was hurting me, that it wasn't sexy at all. I'll never forget that I was choking back the tears in despair of there being any men left without porn brain.

He was remorseful but next day my breasts looked like I'd been in a car accident and bruises all around my thighs.

It's a horrible memory. The following day after hearing nothing (fucking cheek) I sent him a stinking message that I could report him for assault I was that angry.

azzizam that is the saddest story I have heard in a long time. How horrendous. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I think reporting him would have been completely appropriate. I can't imagine how bad I would feel if me having sex with someone made them cry

Thanks inmyshoes I won’t give up altogether, but I do find it a bit demoralising at times. Still got a few irons but not gathering any more at the moment!

Azzizam god that sounds awful.

I think porn has ruined many men, younger men seem to think it’s the norm now to act out rough porn.

Mr Tinder (iron from earlier this year) put his hand around my throat the first time we DTD, when I said ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ His answer was ‘women like that kind of thing’ ,yes some might but don’t you think it’s best to ask first?
There are nice respectful men out there, Mr Marathon was amazing in bed, very respectful but such a shame out of the bedroom he wasn’t so honest and kind.

I still live in hope that I find a man that’s perfect in and out of the bedroom.

Welcome hopeless. I'm sure we have all spoken to the same people given we are quite alike (natural women it seems!!).

scotgal I hate that second guessing stuff. Really does my head in. Hope he gets back to you one way or another!

My fwb who had a gf and now doesn't isn't going to be a fwb again. We have agreed to just remain friends. I think that ship has sailed for us both but I am seeing him tonight for dinner and a catch up. He is back on bumble again though

hopeless look outside the box. Honestly Mr Roses had no photo showing his face but neither do I. I've ad this before and typically they were 'married but not a good match ' whereas this guy like me just didn't want his face on Tinder for whatever reason but not because he wasn't single. He isn't typically my type but we have the most amazing chemistry.