Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@inmyshoos, your guy sounds great and like you are really compatible in terms of lifestyle and goals!

I've yet to meet anyone where the interest has been equally matched. Either they are mad about me or I am mad about them. Not really come together yet. I am living in hope !
My current chat with Mr music is good fun and good banter. No whiff of any sex chat, thank the lord.

Ha so carrot cock was an early dating disaster when yes it was shaped like a baby carrot and very pointy! The perils of not asking for dick pics. Let that be a warning to all 😂.

Oh man the kiss with Mr Geek. Well we had date three and I was keen to get a snog in as I'm on the fence about him. Oh so awkward. Like 2 teenagers having a first kiss. Think teeth and nose bashing with no actual snog. Just pecks . I'm pretty sure at one point I was stood there smooch ready. The shame lol.
Anyway he commented on the dreadful kiss when he got home.
He's a lovely person and good company. But not sure the chemistry is there on either side.
Not sure what to do.. probably nothing until the mention of a date comes up.
Thoughts?

@cold, oooh your date sounds promising! Check in with us later :-). So hard to tell on the fancying isn't, until you meet them. I often fancy people based on other stuff, sense of humour definitely for me can often win ! Yeah so odd that guy just disappearing. That would have really thrown me when I first started OLD! I'm so grateful that my first proper thing on OLD was with someone decent who is still a good friend and FWB even now. This thread hugely helps me with not over investing !

So I have no dates lined up for 2 weeks, mini breather will be good.

Oh poor Mr Carrot Cock! I still wouldn't want a dick pic though.. .what would you say? No, sorry your dick is ridiculous, I won't have coffee with you.

As for Mr Geek... well if you enjoyed his company I would persist with it, you could become friends? Nothing wrong with chatting to someone and meeting up for the odd coffee. Doesn't have to turn into sexual chemistry.

Loving all the happy dates. Had a few messages from MrItalian. I told him I had a child and thatbid understand if that didn’t suit him. Supposed to be meeting next week. Took longer than usual for him to reply and said it wasn’t an issue. Anyway, will let him come back to me about meeting - suspect it won’t happen.

Please can someone explain whey blokes post their wedding pics?? I can understand pics of kids but actual wedding pics? Some appear like a family album. Just weird.

Please can someone explain whey blokes post their wedding pics

Because some blokes have very few decent pics of themselves and they think they looked their best at their wedding so they think that's fine.

They could also be pics of them as best man at a wedding though, not necessarily their own wedding.

Personally I'm put off by pictures of men holding their newborn child in the hospital just after it was born. It's such a deeply personal and important moment in their life, and I can't help but think of the poor woman who is behind them in the pic having just given birth probably having her bits sewn up or some other such painful and traumatic experience. Not exactly the most enticing image.

Or the pics of them with a baby where they say "The baby in pic 2 is not mine"... well why bloody post it then, and also does the mother of that child know you're using it to try and pick up women?

So true. I swipe left on all profiles with babies and “child not mine”.
Anyone hazard a guess at what a “classy lady” is? This seems to be common too.
I absolutely hate the phrase “I’m 7ft 2 as height seems to matter.”

@cold, yep I agree, we could just be friends. It's more I don't want to waste his time. He's mentioned weekends in January so I'm just wary.
That said, we haven't kissed yet or discussed what the situation is so I know I don't owe him anything.

Milo having looked at lots of women's profiles on Tinder (to research the competition) I found that many women are also stating their height. And that they like a taller man.

From my Tinder research, I also found that there are many, many women on there in their 30's. Quite a few in their 40's, with a lot aged 46-48. And almost none who were 50+.
This probably explains why I get very few matches, as men have a huge choice of women younger than me.

@runs interesting research. I’ve contemplated doing similar. It’s a lot easier to do on Soulmates as you don’t need a picture. I have been wondering what the London competition is like on Bumble...

Milo I used a friend's photo for tinder (with his permission).
Filters were widely used. Very few 'normal' looking women, with every day blemishes, wrinkles etc.

The best profiles had a few selfies plus some outdoors doing sport, casual with friends or on holiday and also a full length photo.

I found it useful to look at the competition although it doesn't really help me as most were younger than me. So I think if I tried Tinder again, I would pay to hide my age.

I'm having a break now until the new year. I'm just too busy to squeeze in dates.

The fancying in real life is a funny thing. Mr Roses (yesterday morning coffee date) is such a decent bloke, friendly, funny, fit and no sex talk at all which is quite refreshing.
He isn't what I'd normally be attracted to physically at all but he is hugely attractive just based on all those other things. I'm already over thinking this (I know I know... the rules...) and wouldn't be surprised if ended up being keener than he is.
It's typical that the one guy I dated before I wasn't bothered about so much. I genuinely liked him but if he had called it a day I'd just think ah well... Already with Mr Roses I'm thinking please let this continue. He's just so different.

I'm seeing him tmrw late afternoon. Not sure what we are doing yet but I can't wait to see him. He's like catnip

cool my last guy was a bit awkward on the kissing at first. It did improve. He just wasn't hugely confident.

The carrot cock sounds hilarious... poor guy.

I hate profile pics with their kids. Cant imagine why anyone would want to puf their kids faces on a dating site.
I also look closely at what they are wearing. White trainers are always a deal breaker for me.

@inmy really love reading about MrRoses. 2nd date arranged?

Runs most of the men I talk too say POF is just full of photos that have filters on them and that there are not many ‘real’ looking women on there. I’m not sure why women feel the need to use filters, it’s not as though the guys not going to notice when they meet up. I don’t wear make up unless going out somewhere important (wedding, funeral), most of my photos are of me looking natural with messy hair.

Just realised I don’t even have a name for the man I met yesterday, I shall call him Mr Speedy (as it was a bit of a speedy meet up). Anyway he’s been texting me all morning and has suggested cook for me for our next date next weekend. It’s all feeling a bit too good to be true, I went yesterday expecting nothing, wasn’t really that bothered about going at all but I’m glad I did. Hopefully the 2nd date will be as good as the first, it’s so hard to tell as everyone’s a bit nervous and on their best behaviour when you first meet, I’m kind of waiting for him to put his foot in it and tell me something I don’t like.

@inmyshoos, I'm falling in love with Mrroses myself, the way you are talking about him. Love it, keeping everything crossed.

I know fine line for guys isn't it, he's obviously being respectful and now I think he doesn't fancy me. Sigh.
And then they come on strong and disappear !

@runs, really interesting to see your thoughts on the competition! I'm 42 and get alot of matches but not massively high quality. Also alot of older men pop up who have clearly lied 're age.

I've had alot of comments from people that my profile is very natural and honest. I don't have any filters.
Just a few head shot selfies, one full length shot and an honest description of myself and what I'm looking for..

stapler I love the theory, I've never heard it before but in my case it seems to be true.

Met my DH at 18 and we split up recently (I'm 37), I was going to say that unfortunately I am acting like I'm 18 but actually I think it is fortunate.

I'm having such a good time with no pressure from either side and its just what I need to take my mind off my marriage ending.
At the moment I have no plans to ever get into a relationship again.

One of my FB's appears to be moving towards something else but when I mentioned him meeting someone else for a long term relationship he said he had too much to do still like travel the world and he doesn't want a proper relationship and he's happy with what we have which appears to be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship without anyone having said so...…..
Either way I'm happy, he's a lovely guy, not my type at all but good in bed and embarrassingly wanted to see me again even after I went round for sex and ended up sobbing in his arms for an hour over my ex husband

I don't have any filters on my pics either, but I do always wear makeup (everyday not just for the profile pics so I wouldn't look any different if I ever meet anyone...)

I have no idea what other women look like on there, but judging by the amount of men that put "please, no daft snap chat filters on your pics", there must be loads of them.

Still chatting to MrOld who is a complete sweetheart and quite foxy at the same time (checks I get home from work safely, tells me he's been clearing out his gutters, then says something that gives me fizzy knickers .) Have another iron, MrSocks, who is a complete wideboy, but he is fun to talk to . He's my age and local, not sure why he matched with me on Bumble - he looks like he'd prefer a busty young blonde, but I'll play along for a few days...

I also don't see the point of filters - I only wear make up on special occasions although sometimes wear mascara day to day.

I want people to see my photos and know what I really look like, I don't think I am particularly photogenic and all the guys I've met say I look better in real life which is better than the other way round (not that they'd tell you that!!)

I've actually paused/disabled my 3 apps, I'm bored with it all even though I'm not looking for anything long term - I've gathered a nice collection of FB's and although I keep wondering if there is someone out there better in bed I realise there isn't and I just end up with shit sex so better to stick with what you know!!!

I recently uploaded a b/w picture because I was messing about on my phone and liked it. The rest of mine normal though.

There are so many profiles though where every single photo has a filter on. Not even subtle filters either, ones that make their eyes huge, skin flawless and overlay a giant pair of fake glasses

I had a black and white pic of mine also on my profile but it did look good. Rest were normal though. I feel a bit miserable tonight. Went out with my mates today and I KNOW they didn't mean it but they kept saying 'I can't believe you haven't been successful'. Sigh :(

Daffo I know how you feel! I have friends who always say that. Or other gems like "you only need to meet one right person" or "I'm sure there's someone out there for you".

DaffoDeffo Sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit down, I know the feeling.

RunsforCake14 I get that too. They mean well but sometimes it's like "It's just not that easy.."

Daffo Sorry your feeling down. Most of my friends are single and the married ones usually seem jelous that I'm single, no one ever questions why I'm single.