Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Ok, I’m back (was just a quick one). He was actually much better than I thought he would be, really down to earth and just a normal guy. Not sure if there were any fireworks but he suggested meeting again and I said ‘I would really like that’ and then made a total tit of myself by saying how nice it was to meet someone normal 😂 Not sure what he thought about me, I didn’t put much effort in with dressing to impress, just went in my jeans, baggy jumper and dm’s. Anyway, have sent him my number and will see what happens.

that sounds great love! if he likes you when you don't make an effort, that's even better

I have had a text from someone I saw a few months ago asking if I'd like to go on another date with him. He was a really lovely man but was fighting a horrible custody battle with his ex at the time (she wanted to take the kids and move abroad) and he really didn't want to lose his regular contact with them (he has them 50%). We never followed up after the first date because I just thought he wasn't in the right space. He's said he's in London next week so I'm going to go for lunch with him :).

and first FWB who was off the list as he had a girlfriend has just told me he's broken up with his girlfriend so I'm actually hopeful we will move back to being FWB. I'm not missing the dating apps particularly but I am missing a bit of action. We have become such close friends I'm not sure whether it could go back to FWB but I'll try and figure that out this weekend!

Well done to all of you for all your irons! Am jealous :-)

@Moffa @DaffoDeffo we should really meet up :-)

How many dates would you or did you have before, he would come to your house for the eavning? Presuming children are in bed, what if you have teenagers who don't go to bed till late?

I now don't have anyone round till we are in a proper relationship

I found out early on it just wasn't good for the kids (and tbh a lot of the men I saw just wouldn't come round unless the kids weren't there early on which I totally understand).

DogDayMorning Wait..new whip?

Lovemusic33 great news, I think I need to take a leaf out of your book.

Loving the good vibes in this thread, hope you all have great dates of you're out this weekend!

Butterfly I think it depends, I have had men over after a few dates, I have 2 teenagers so I can no longer seek anyone in. I try and wait as long as possible before having anyone over when my dc’s are here but sometimes it’s just easier (I don’t like going out in the evenings in the winter, would rather stay in and watch a film).

I like @stapler’s theory too. I was 27 when I met my ex. And on splitting up with him decided to go back to all the things I did at 27 pre-him. The new boyfriend (who is not 27, but could just about pass for it despite being older than me) is exactly what I’d have wanted at 27 in terms of looks, personality and interests. 😁

@Butterfly555 I waited til I was sure it was a proper relationship before that. He’d been round while the kids were away before that.

DS1 is an adult and goes to bed later than me usually. He’s my free, live-in babysitter though.

Can ask opinions, please?
Match on Bumble yesterday. Exchanged a few messages. Around lunchtime today he asked if we can moved to WA as Bumble notifications are rubbish.

I agreed but said I was working so couldn't chat.
5pm Him: Have you finished work yet?
5.45pm Me: Just got home
Him: Are you busy this evening?
Me: I have paperwork to sort out then an early night as I have a 7am start tomorrow.
Him: Can I send some photos?
Me: If you want. But if they're dick pics you'll get blocked.

He then sends 4 photos of himself (no dick pic).
Him: Can I have some photos of you?
Me: My photos are on Bumble
Him: I'm not on Bumble any more

I looked and he is still on there.

He seems a bit too keen and a bit needy to me. What does anyone else think?

runs it's weird that he said he's not on Bumble when he is. Seems a bit sloppy. Maybe ask him about this?

DogDay he said he wasn't using it any more. I've never met him so I don't care if he's still on there.
I'm just finding him pushy. I said I was at work but he still messaged to see if I had finished. I said I was doing paperwork but he asked to exchange photos.
I'm not sure how to handle him.

runs I think a lot of men are stung by fake women. I've met 3 or 4 who got very hurt by fake profiles. So he might be just trying to ascertain you are who you say you are. But he should explain himself.

runs does sound pushy to me too though. If you pause Bumble, you still appear to your matches. I had to delete my account to come off there properly.

I mean you appear to matches and can still talk to them but you are invisible to anyone else. You just mark yourself as invisible.

To be off there permanently you have to delete it then you stop appearing to matches

RunsforCake14 It sounds like too much hard work at a very early stage to me? What are your first thoughts on him?

Thanks Daffo. It didn't seem like he was worried about a fake profile, more that he wanted me to have photos of him. I've sent him one of me from my profile. And predictably he responded with "you're so gorgeous"

I am fed up of men who think throwing around compliments all the time is having a conversation.

Eraser exactly that! Too needy and pushy.
But I needed a second opinion as other people might think that he was just being friendly

Hello, can I join???

Brief history, separated from ex husband 18 months ish a go. Met a guy on tinder about Dec last year. Was my only date and we saw each other until about 3 weeks ago.

Been back on tinder 2 weeks. Had 3 dates with 2 guys, 1 date guy was far too invested after an hour date. Telling me he thought he loved me. The other I had two dates with. Really liked him, message all the time but he seems uninterested now today. My kids are away so would be perfect time to have a date but he said he'll let me know. Chatting to a few more but I'm not sure anything will come of it!

Lydiathetattooedlady Hey, welcome to the thread!

@Lydiathetattooedlady hi there! And welcome :-)

@RunsforCake14 He does sound a bit full-on and like another poster said hard work for so early on.. what are you going to do?

midcentury I sent one photo. He said I was gorgeous. Then he sent another saying he really likes me.
I haven't replied. Not a lot I can say. We've covered the 'what are you doing this evening/weekend' earlier. It's hard to move the conversation on now and I can't say I really want to.

@shitwithsugaron Tell him to send the pic and say "meh, looks about average to me."