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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My Date Last Night. Help me make sense of it.

228 replies

Conway007 · 25/10/2018 15:18

I recently met a guy on OLD. After a few messages, we exchange numbers and spoke on the phone. He then texted to ask if he could take me out on a date. I agreed, he booked a table at a very posh restaurant (his choice) and the date was last night. I arrived before he did and was taken to our table. When I asked where he was, he told me that he was stuck in the traffic but on his way. He was one hour late!

I was expecting an athletic, tall and good-looking man as described in his profile and the pictures that he sent before we met. Instead, a fat, short bald man walked towards me - I tried my best to keep my disappointment to myself. He was scruffy and before sitting down said he was going to the toilet (nothing wrong with that). I could not understand why he would conceal his disability before we met, not that it would have mattered.

As soon as he came back, he started eating the bread which was on the table - he was eating so quickly. When our main course came (went straight for main as I wanted to get out), he ate using his hands and sometimes cutlery, he was dipping bread into all sorts of things. After he had completed his own food, he asked if I had finished, I told him that I had had enough. He asked if he could taste. In the end, he took my plate and polished everything. When the waiters took the bread away he demanded that they bring the bread back.

If that was not embarrassing enough, I returned from the toilet to see him counting carefully folded notes all over the table. The money was folded up in a little plastic bag. I suggested him that we should share the bill. He agreed and asked him to stop counting the money as I would pay the balance on my card.

We paid and I couldn't wait to get out the place quickly. I think he asked if I wanted to go to the cinema.

Why would a person conceal their disabilities? Why would a person lied about what they look like if they actually wanted to meet?

OP posts:
Conway007 · 25/10/2018 18:02

@Summer, I was happy with the water. Besides, I did not want to drink alone.

OP posts:
Mooey89 · 25/10/2018 18:03

This is absolutely brilliant.

Conway007 · 25/10/2018 18:03

Yes, he had a fruit cocktail. I don't drink fruit juice. We had water on the table and we shared that as well.

OP posts:
iklboogiemanunderthebed · 25/10/2018 18:03

I took fruit cocktail to mean a non-alcoholic drink / mocktail, not a dessert.

Conway007 · 25/10/2018 18:03

Fruit cocktail as a drink not dessert.

OP posts:
Conway007 · 25/10/2018 18:05

@IKl, yes. I don't drink any fruit juice whatsoever... it's just me. I prefer to have some wine or water.

OP posts:
Womanlikeme · 25/10/2018 18:05

Did I miss if you saw a photo of him?

SummerGems · 25/10/2018 18:06

Maybe he’s teetotal? Would you have an issue with that and should he declare that along with his disability? After all, it stands to reason that if he goes out and gets legless when drinking he might be teetotal.... Grin Wink

Conway007 · 25/10/2018 18:09

@Woman, he sent to me a very cute photo of himself, tall and athletic - so when this man walked towards me, I was saying to myself, "that's the wrong man..."

I was facing the door and was observing people coming in and going out. Definitely not the in the photo.

OP posts:
VincentVanGoughandhisear · 25/10/2018 18:10

Actually dying here Grin

BlancheM · 25/10/2018 18:10

Hang fire, so the notes of cash were folded to oblivion, had been in a plastic bag, and he walked in like john wayne? Did you see him take that money out?

Conway007 · 25/10/2018 18:14

@Blanche, I came from the toilet and the plastic was out - I think he had more than one. Taking £5 and unfolding it slowly and spreading it on the table.....

I don't want to think about it. He only put the plastic of money away when I told him to stop counting.

OP posts:
NotANotMan · 25/10/2018 18:14

There is a lesson here - never meet a man in a nice restaurant for a first date and never wait more than 20 minutes for an OLD

Womanlikeme · 25/10/2018 18:14

If you saw a photo of him I think you could have said, are you sure that was you in the photo? Or something like, I thought you said you were tall.

WipsGlitter · 25/10/2018 18:30

Not looking like your photo is pretty standard in OLD I think.

I had an OLD once who said he looked like George Clooney. Think more Fr Jack.

Courtney555 · 25/10/2018 18:34

You'll laugh at this next week and strike it up to experience.

I once spoke to someone very intensively over the course of a week online and on the phone. We were hooked. His photos were amazing. Our first date, he booked us a first class trip to Thailand, I shit thee not. I went to Heathrow looking eagerly around for this gorgeous 30 something adonis, and what I can only describe as his clinically obese, 5ft 5, grubby (white scarf thingy that had gone brown around his neck), dad came mincing round the corner. His breath could have woken grandma up, and he spat repeatedly on my face as he spoke. He'd used multiple fake images. I pretended to have forgotten my passport and text my friend who had dropped me off to come straight back and get me.

I got really abusive calls and emails after regarding the money he'd spent in good faith (until I blocked him) which I replied to, explaining that he had masqueraded using false photos, and that I had agreed to go on a trip on the basis that that person was was turning up, and that his abusive comments about me being concerned with appearances, were comically hippocritical coming from someone using a fake image to attract a date, instead of their own. If you're deceitful enough to do that, you shouldn't expect the person you've been fooling up to that point to give you the time of day.

Bluntness100 · 25/10/2018 18:36

Oh op, I'm sorry, I've no idea if this is real or not, but to be honest it sound very comical. I'm sorry you had a bad night though.

And I'd agree, maybe he went a bit too far in over exaggerating on his profile...😁

On a more serious note, was he the man in the photo? Maybe he still sees himself like that if it was.

TheHoundsofLove · 25/10/2018 18:39

Sorry if you didn't mean it to be, OP, but this is the funniest thread I've read for ages... 😂

Conway007 · 25/10/2018 18:41

This is not a fake story, I have the receipt from last night. The credit card copy - not sure if I am allowed to post this here.

OP posts:
Coconutspongexo · 25/10/2018 18:46

Not sure how that would prove your story isn’t fake though 😂

wishywashy6 · 25/10/2018 18:46

This is one of the best threads ever 😂

OP I'm sure you'll be able to laugh it off in the future

Online dating is a numbers game, some dates go well, some go terribly and some are just meh. Others are hysterical for all the wrong reasons and I think this just might fall into that category

Sorry you had such a terrible time, I think I'd have found the whole experience so funny I'd have just had to live stream it on Facebook or something 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

Hoping you have a better dating experience next time!

AllStevesPals · 25/10/2018 18:46

This has made my night. I don't even care if it's not real 😂

upsettraintraveller · 25/10/2018 18:51

Op, he sounds familiar to me. I think years ago I may have had a date with him too. London based also. Give me a hint about the profession..... or PM me!

Brandnewshit · 25/10/2018 19:00

Do you have a picture of his shoes taken under the table?

ravenmum · 25/10/2018 19:10

You don't need special shoes if you can simply get another pair of feet that fit normal shoes, surely?

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