Help needed - emotional affair with married man

[CrimsonCloverHoney]

For the past few months, I've been involved with a married man from work (a man who is considerably older than me). It's never gone any further than kissing and is very much an emotional affair - he's told me that he's in love with me and I'm sort of unsure as to whether I feel the same way or whether it's limerance/infatuation. I know I'm going to get flamed for this and I don't expect any sympathy but I'm in a really shit situation and I feel desperate for advice or just people to talk to who don't know me.

I'm still young, a single mother, but I find myself obsessing over him and waiting (forever waiting) for his next call or text. I see him once or twice a week outside work and I find myself wishing my week away so that I can fast-forward to seeing him. I crave the attention and the feeling I get when I'm with him. But as soon as I'm not with him I feel dreadful and at times, I've felt suicidal and like I can't see the point in carrying on. Before I got involved with him I was generally OK, despite some anxiety issues, but I never felt the way I do now.

We've ended it a few times and I always go running back. I've dated other people at the same time but they never compare, and I find myself hoping that the dates I go on are bad so that I don't have to end this affair. How fucked up?

I don't know what I'm asking for here. I just need to talk and hear opinions from people who aren't inside the mess that is my head. Sorry if this thread offends anyone - it's not my intention.

Djnoun, I'm so confused as to why you continue to give the OP advice when you are doing the same thing...except you've take in one step further and decided to bonk someone else's husband. I'd understand if you were out the other side.......but how can you give advice now? It would be like me telling someone how to be vegan whilst munching on a lamb chop.
Also, I hope you all use protection 

@EvePolastriSorryBaby

Because I'd like to try and help the OP without being filling the thread with purposeless judgemental whining. Perhaps you could try it.

Husky I don't know whether your predictions about him having a micro penis are true but it's made me burst out laughing for the first time today so thanks for that.

I'm feeling stronger and in a better position to put an end to this shit. The more I think about it, the more things pop into my head about the things he's said and the way he makes me feel. In the beginning he was full of compliments and made me feel amazing but as the weeks/months have passed, I've realised that more negative stuff is coming out of his mouth and he's making me feel less and less good about myself.

I don't think you are helping....just giving your situation a trendy twist and making it seem as though you are so worldly and know exactly what you're doing.
In all honesty, you're shagging someone else's husband, he's most definitely still in love with her or would have left and I guarantee- despite your denial, you'd rather he wasn't still in love with or making love to, his wife.
You can make it sound fluffy and nice by saying that's how you want it but if that was the case and you just wanted a whole load of different people to shag with everyone being in the know- you'd choose polyamory.
I don't think that the main problem is the fact that you have multiple partners, just that not everyone in the Bodily fluids sharing group, knows how many people they are sharing bodily fluids with.

As for the OP, she is playing herself off to be utterly pathetic and manipulated.
She will never have all of this man and never trust him.
Better to walk away now before getting heartbroken.
And maybe send a postcard to the wife....she should know what a dick her husband is.

@ElectricMonkey

You think people with autism are incapable of giving advice to other people. That's a fine bit of disablism for you. I would report you, but I'd rather people could see for themselves what a piece of crap you are.

And yes, I do think I've been oceans ahead of you in being supportive to the OP. And I think that's quite plain to anyone reading.

@EvePolastriSorryBaby

I'm afraid you haven't enough detail of the situation to draw those conclusions vis-a-vis the fluid sharing. You're imagining things that aren't actually happening. But thanks for your concern.

@ElectricMonkey

Do pop off, you silly old bean

That is not what electric monkey said at all,, she suggested that your position as an ow in someone else’s marriage meant you weren’t a suitable person to advise. Her post is clear.

I'm afraid you haven't enough detail of the situation to draw those conclusions vis-a-vis the fluid sharing. You're imagining things that aren't actually happening. But thanks for your concern.

Oh...did he tell you that he's not shagging his wife still...tenner says he is. And probably his other girlfriends.

@Newerversion

I think her position as someone who is so incensed at the mere idea of extramarital affairs as to be quite incapable of stopping launching continual personal attacks that are nothing to do with the OP, the OP's situation, or the OP's benefit doesn't put her in a very good place to be providing constructive advice, if we're going to bring that up.

Do pop off, you silly old bean

Profound

I think @ElectricMonkey has been extremely clear and concise. I would say that much of her opinion would relate to the OP and yourself.
In short.... DONT SHAG OTHER PEOPLE'S HUSBANDS.

I disagree entirely. I think the advice given in this thread by many people who see the moral bankruptcy in knowingly sleeping with a married man/woman or in cheating on your partner has probably been very much the most useful to the op.

My post was in reply to djnoun

To ElectricMonkey why are you still posting?? You have constantly bashed and insulted both the OP and Djnoun - what are you getting out of this? You have made your point - what do you want blood??!!

Newerversion - a lot of it hasn't been advice has it though - it's just been abuse.

OP I think you should genuinely text him tonight and break the whole thing off. After the way he treats you, he deserves to have a crap weekend.

And don't meet him again. Ever.

Ever.

Abuse is a big word and I wouldn't say it applies here.

OP irrespective of how you chose to define your relationship with this man (emotional affair/physical affair/whatever) the basic fact is that it is not in any way enhancing your life.

He is abusive and from what you say here an absolute fucking arsehole.

A PP up thread had very good advice - treat this like you would any other relationship... would you generally continue with a man who treated you this way?

If it's like this after a few months & you aren't even really together how bad do you think it's going to get if you keep going?

Cancel Monday, tell him there will be no further meetings and leave this complete waste of space to his poor wife - or better still tell her & let her get rid of him because it's a guarantee he's an abusive arsehole to her too.

I would say it does EvePolastriSorryBaby and I'm including you in that too!