Shall I assume my date is off tonight

[ijustcantdate]

Been seeing s guy a few weeks, been in contact about 7 weeks but seen him 3 times in last 10 days, pretty much in constant contact been bit more quite this week as he's been on a course.

Anyway arranged to go out tonight and he asked me to book he was messaging as usual last night until 11ish I then went to sleep and woke this morning to 3 messages from him just saying night and hoping I had nice evening etc.

Anyway messaged him this morning telling him I had booked table for 7.30 he read it at 11.30 and to date hasn't responded, unusual as I always get a good morning message etc and he's been online a few tones since then so really do reason to not confirm. so now idea if he's picking me up etc or what time, reluctant to get ready and starting to get the hump... I really don't want to message again as hate the thought of chasing him.

WTF do I do? Give him till 4 and if not heard just assume it's off?

I’m with you, OP.

Your gut is telling you something. Then again, this early, it’s ok for each of you to be a bit unsure. And the messaging and knowing exactly how much time someone has been online is a nightmare!

So don’t overthink, now, just keep going with your gut.

Have a lovely evening!

This guy is actually very different to my usual type, took my friends advice as yes I did always go for the same sort of guys, so far I like him a lot and up until today haven't doubted him

I think he is fine - just maybe busy!

Regardless of how busy he is, it takes seconds to reply "see you at 7.30" or whatever. It's basic manners and you shouldn't have to chase for it.

Hope you have a good evening op

I agree with you that something is still off. Hope I'm wrong but I think he's going to mess you about. I have so much experience of this.

This has happened to me. Made plans and then the day of the meeting they go silent. With about 30 minutes to spare they cancel. Hope you have other plans in place by now?

I'm convinced Whatsapp turns us all bonkers with those blue ticks...

This would send alarm bells ringing with me. On the face of it yes you could say it's only been a few hours not speaking etc etc. But, it's a sudden change of behaviour, ignoring a message that would take seconds to reply to, whilst being otherwise active online....hmm. Personally I would cancel tonight and take a step back, but if it goes ahead op I hope you have a nice night and all is well.

So are you going? Or not?

This would send alarm bells ringing with me

What would? Nothing happened. He didn't reply immediately to a message that didn't need an immediate reply.

We all see things through the filter of our own life experience obviously, but I just don't get what he's done wrong.

You could be right and he could be a wrong 'un, but I honestly think judging someone for not replying to one text message enough just doesn't make sense to me.

Are you meeting him?

It's the change of behaviour that worries me. But I hope I''m wrong

Not replying would be fine if he hadn't been online all day. It's not like he is saying 'been so busy, haven't had chance to look at my phone all day' and it would take two seconds to reply with a time for picking OP.

That said, everyone has a bad day occasionally so I wouldn't pre-emptively chuck him for that. I'd keep an eye out for it happening again though.

How can you know he's been online all day?

In all honesty, if 7 weeks into a relationship (or at any point really) someone was following my online activity and judging me on how quickly I replied to text messages and so on, rather than actually judging my personality and the way I act and treat people in the flesh so to speak, I'd run a mile.

Why ring over text?

Because sometimes people don't receive texts. Sometimes I receive them but get no notification that they've arrived, for example. Or people read them, get caught up in something and forget to reply. Or the text doesn't send properly.

If you're going out with someone and need to confirm a meeting time, why on earth wouldn't you just ring instead of agonising over text messages all day?

He's backed himself into a corner. The first time he doesn't text back immediately or text Good Morning, everyone is piling on that it's a red flag and the OP starts monitoring his online activity.

@SheGotBetteDavisEyes What would? Exactly what I wrote in the rest of my post. He hasn't done anything wrong no, and if he was just busy fine. But they've supposedly got plans that she's trying to arrange, he's ignored her message whilst being active online, which is at best rude, and it's a shift in behaviour which has made her gut feeling something is wrong. From experience that would send alarm bells ringing.

Why all these games, second guessing and online stalking? Just call him.

“Just call him” crew.

Um, if he’s not responding to their main form of communication, why on earth do you assume he’d take the call?

Call hiiiim. She does. He doesn’t answer.

Now what?

She’s feeling like even a bigger idiot.

Hope you're on your date and all is sorted

Let us know how your date goes op

I hope it is going well. I watched first dates hotel this afternoon and this so sweet girl cried all through her date. Don't. Do. That. (Lighthearted)

he's ignored her message whilst being active online, which is at best rude

And at worst, what? .

I don't respond to messages immediately all the time if I'm busy. I reply to the ones I absolutely must and if something doesn't need a reply, I'd just clock it and think, 'cool, table booked.'

Like I said, I'd run a mile if someone was assessing me and judging my personality like this over something so small.

Anyway, different opinions and all that!

@ektomarie You're assuming he's not texting back because he's ignoring her. Maybe he was tired, or busy, or didn't get the text?

But I also don't understand why ringing someone you've been seeing for seven weeks would result in you feeling stupid if they didn't answer?