Shall I assume my date is off tonight

[ijustcantdate]

Been seeing s guy a few weeks, been in contact about 7 weeks but seen him 3 times in last 10 days, pretty much in constant contact been bit more quite this week as he's been on a course.

Anyway arranged to go out tonight and he asked me to book he was messaging as usual last night until 11ish I then went to sleep and woke this morning to 3 messages from him just saying night and hoping I had nice evening etc.

Anyway messaged him this morning telling him I had booked table for 7.30 he read it at 11.30 and to date hasn't responded, unusual as I always get a good morning message etc and he's been online a few tones since then so really do reason to not confirm. so now idea if he's picking me up etc or what time, reluctant to get ready and starting to get the hump... I really don't want to message again as hate the thought of chasing him.

WTF do I do? Give him till 4 and if not heard just assume it's off?

Jesus. Just talk to him.

Does the restaurant have your credit card number? If not I'd let it ride and see what happens. If they have and will charge you then I'd cancel now. Anyone'd know they should get back to you even just to say 'OK, see you later'.

I may be missing something but I don't see anything in your message that requires a response from him? You've already arranged he's going to pick you up, you let him know the restaurant is booked for 7pm - what else do you need to know? I suppose to be absolutely doubly sure you could message to ask exactly what time he will pick you up, but honestly I don't understand why you are assuming he is cancelling.

I would send one more message. Thats not chasing him especially when you have been in contact so much recently. If you don't get am answer then presume it's off and don't message him again.

I would send one more message. Thats not chasing him especially when you have been in contact so much recently. If you don't get am answer then presume it's off and don't message him again.

I’d be inclined to do what PP poster suggested and do nothing. You’ll know where you stand. Feel for you though- hate hanging around anxiously waiting on someone else.

Stop wasting time here and ask..
Why wouldn't you?

"Are we still on for tonight?"
Easy..

I'd text him once more asking him if he's still coming tonight, if not you'll make other plans. If he doesn't reply don't go and don't text again.

I would need to know before I got ready.

You do seem to be over reacting to this. I often don't respond to somebody who is just telling me the time for something.

All you need to do is text and say, was it 7pm you were picking me up, can't remember what we said ?

I think anything beyond that will come across wrong.

I don't understand why you are assuming he is cancelling.

He's not cancelling, he's not doing anything. My understanding is that a relationship is based on reciprocity so OP messages table booked, he replies accordingly, something like 👍😊. He did nothing even though he's seen her message. Why chase?

I am in the camp that arrangements have been made. It is not like he has gone off the grid she was in contact with him last night.

I'd call or message. What have you got to lose?

Maybe this shows my age, but the texting thing is way out of control. It's a phone. So call him. We've evolved over millions of years to communicate by voice and so much is told by tone of voice, the give and take of conversation, etc.

If he doesn't answer and doesn't ring you back there's a message in that.

Ring him like others have said . You are thinking the worse .
If he has for some strange reason woke up this morning and decided he has had enough of you ( why would he? ) then he could cancel and make a excuse up . Your being daft you know you are , come on pick the bloody phone up and dial his number and speak to him .

Do you have a back up plan? So you could still just get ready and go out an have a good night anyway?

Just ask him, either by phoning or text.

I'd say don't call him.
You run the risk of him not really wanting to come out and giving in to be polite. Or he won't answer .Neither are what you need from a potential boyfriend. You want someone who's prepared to risk a bit. You are worth it.

What are you going to do this evening?

FWIW, I get that some people wouldn't send a text back after plans being set, but i'd have to just to say I was looking forward to it, or just to say " great I'll see you ..." such a time. But I appreciate that's just me

Hard to say whether it's going ahead, but i'd probably send a little message and take it from there, either way I'd get my answer

Whatever happens OP, I hope you have a lovely evening

Text and ask.

So you'd agreed you'd go out tonight and you'd agreed where you were going and that you'd book? You've done as agreed and told him the time. I'm not sure I'd feel the need to confirm, he already did that yesterday.

Don't be playing games. Either turn up as arranged or contact him to check. I don't think you need to (or should) assume it's off

Why don't you just ring him?

My thoughts exactly but always far too simple for Mumsnet!

Why play games, you want an answer to a question, so ask the question. Just send a quick text something like "just checking, are you are still OK for tonight at 7.30?"

Dear God how does anyone ever get to relationship stage if this is how it is with people assuming it’s all off because of lack of response to one text?

OP are you at the stage of sending chit chat texts yet? If so then can you send him a general chatty text and see if he responds to that?

I would presume off. I wouldn’t go.

If he doesn’t go, you’ve not lost out (other than “losing” an inconsiderate horrible twat)
If he does go, you respond “I didn’t get any response from you so presumed it wasn’t on”.
His response will tell you whether he’s a keeper or not