Shall I assume my date is off tonight

[ijustcantdate]

Been seeing s guy a few weeks, been in contact about 7 weeks but seen him 3 times in last 10 days, pretty much in constant contact been bit more quite this week as he's been on a course.

Anyway arranged to go out tonight and he asked me to book he was messaging as usual last night until 11ish I then went to sleep and woke this morning to 3 messages from him just saying night and hoping I had nice evening etc.

Anyway messaged him this morning telling him I had booked table for 7.30 he read it at 11.30 and to date hasn't responded, unusual as I always get a good morning message etc and he's been online a few tones since then so really do reason to not confirm. so now idea if he's picking me up etc or what time, reluctant to get ready and starting to get the hump... I really don't want to message again as hate the thought of chasing him.

WTF do I do? Give him till 4 and if not heard just assume it's off?

I still can’t quite understand why people don’t ring...
It seems that only text will do these days.

All those saying “ringing”

Why ring over text? Surely if she asks an explicit enough question - the mode of communication is irrelevant.

If he doesn’t respond to her question it’s the same as him not picking up her call.

Ring or send another message either:

1. and most likely he thinks he has sent it and hasnt or has forgotten to and another message will solve

2. He is angry at your lack of response - huge red flag

3. he is now ghosting you

It will either all get sorted or end the relationship but at least you know

Because if you ring you get an immeadiate answer rather than waiting indefinitely for a response

I think it’s far riskier not to turn up. Why not simply text and say you haven’t heard from him is he on for tonight? If you get no response then that is your response. I hardly consider one small top chasing. It is communicating.

OP what have you done and have you heard from him?

Ffs be a grown up and just ask him. Too much game playing these days

blardy ring him

I think you should be completely upfront and real about it. Just text and say - 'Hey, I haven't heard back from you about tonight and just want to check we are going ahead, before I make other plans? X'

If he is a decent guy he will respect your honesty and lack of game playing and respond. If he's a waster then he won't but you'll have your answer.

Don't start a new relationship off on the basis of not being upfront and clear in your communication. Women always do this game playing on WhatsApp and it is so unhealthy for you. It sets off the dynamic that he can leave you hanging. Just ask.

God, this all sounds like such hard work.

All this game playing is fine if you're 14, otherwise just act like adults and talk to each other.

Ring him or text him and just ask him what time he's picking you up.

Can you imagine the response if a woman posted here:

“I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks, we’ve met up three times but have been texting loads etc... been away for work this week but still been in touch. Anyway, we’d arranged to meet tonight for a date but I asked him to book the restaurant as I’ve been busy. We were texting plenty last night and this morning he text saying that he’d booked the restaurant. I’ve been busy so haven’t had a chance to respond, but I turned up for the date an hour ago and he wasn’t there, wen I texted he simply replied that as I hadn’t responded to his text about the restaurant he’d assumed the date was off and hadn’t bothered to come.”

Do those thinking the OP should just make those kinds of assumptions think that posters would be telling an OP in the opposite situation and who had been stood up in those circumstances it was her fault for not texting? Nope, they’d be declaring the man an arsehole and telling her she had had a lucky escape.

Hoping the lack of response from OP means date is on and she’s getting ready :)

Right. I'm now invested emotionally in this and I NEED to know if it's on or off.

OP? OP?

Surely its still on?

Has he text back?

I’ve been busy so haven’t had a chance to response

I’d say “bull shit you were too busy to text three words. “See you there””

Cancel.
Don't chase him.

Grow up and phone him! At least you'll know!

What sort of place have you booked?

Phone him. Or if you don't want to do that then go to the restaurant and take a book. If he doesn't turn up then you can at least have some food and read your book.

Then tell him to get to fuck and delete his number.

If he does turn up or answers a call then speak to him.

I understand the lack of wanting to phone. There's the fear that they'll tell you it's off and you'll have to carefully control your voice to sound all cool and breezy instead of hurt. With a text, bad news doesn't get a visible response so you can take your time to compose a reply or choose not to reply at all. Cowardly perhaps, but emotionally safer. But OP, come on, don't keep us in suspense!

Need to know now, overinvested

Me too. What's your plan?

Have you rung him?..