Added myself to dh and ow fb chat - part 2

[MissMarpleMyArse]

My first thread received so much support that I've been advised to make another one due to the number of messages. I knew my dh was up to no good, added myself to their Facebook chat and blew it all up.....

Wow you are so strong. I'm glad he was contrite today, I hope he stays that way and makes what is to come as easy on you as it can be.

You're so strong

Bless you, when you wobble....remember
He cheated, he lied, he deceived you, he broke his vows, he hurt you, he hurt his children

You are doing so well.

Glad you had a good night and hope the hangover eases.

How are your girls doing?

To tag, just put an @ at the beginning of the name (with no gap).

Thing is he couldn't separate it from his real life could he, because he gaslighted you and made out you were crazy for being suspicious. He was cruel and dishonest. Whether he laid a finger on her is irrelevant. He just doesn't get it does he?

As others have said, he's only sorry he got caught.

Hope your hangover has gone

Even though the message about her fish fingers did make me laugh - purely as it was so unexpected - delete her number now and don’t look it up again. Be the bigger and MUCH better woman.

He was angry he got caught.
Now he's sorry he got caught.
But he's not really sorry, is he. He's been at it for months ...

Keep that in mind every time you waiver.

Glad you have supportive friends. I hope your daughters are doing ok with everything that's happened.

I think if I was in your position it would be really hard not to forgive him. People make really stupid mistakes sometimes. I know mums net is all for leaving your partner but I really don't know what I'd do. I think you have handled it as all really well though

Stay strong op

What a cockwomble

Of course he wishes he hadn't started this "thing" because now he has to leave the comfort of his home, the love of his family and the security of a happy life. All for the sake of a slow wank and a fish finger. What a sad sack of shit.

He's minimising. All part of the cheater's script. "She meant nothing and was just a cheap thrill"..... a slow wank and a fish finger.....months of it.

Not such a 'cheap' thrill now, is it?

For the months before my ex kicked me out - he was cold, distant, scornful and selfish. I tried desperately to make our relationship work. All the time he was cheating but gaslighted me to believe it was all my fault. He was verbally and physically abusive at the end.

A week after I moved out he came begging to have me back. I tried to blank out all his cruel behaviour and totally blame the evil OW who'd 'preyed upon him' -his words. I wanted to believe in him desperately. I wanted the family to be together and I wanted our home back.

He minimised everything he'd done wrong and his apologies were always full of excuses blaming me. I thought I had to try again for the sake of our child but also I believed staying together was the easier option. I was scared of being on my own.

I wasted 2 more years with him - he carried on cheating and was even more disrespectful to me - after all, I took him back once after he treated me like shit - why would he stop?

He was never the person I believed him to be. A decent man does not behave this way. I first came on MN for advice at the time. Everyone advised me to not get back with him. I ignored the advice.

Well done OP! Stay strong, remember HE did this and you are taking the only sensible option you have in ending your relationship.

Glad you got some real life support from your friends too. How are the girls holding up?

Good you have support. Hang in there. Hope your dc are ok.

OP, you are an absolute trooper. Hats off to you for the way you're handling this awful situation.

Remember your old life was one of ignorance but not bliss as this wasn't his first time being deceitful. You were being disrespected and not cherished, you just didn't realise.

Keep going. He's had his second chance and blown it. You did everything you could.

Glad you could unwind with your friends. H is now experiencing consequences and not enjoying it.

Stay strong op

Stay strong op

Just put @ in front of name to tag!

He's just sorry he got caught, stay strong.
How are the girls doing?

That’s hard, him coming round unexpectedly when you’re feeling shit and saying all the things you want to hear.

Well done for not caving in. You’re doing so well. I think this thread should be saved as an example of how to handle this shitstorm with class and grace.