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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Added myself to dh and ow fb chat - part 2

505 replies

MissMarpleMyArse · 23/09/2018 20:37

My first thread received so much support that I've been advised to make another one due to the number of messages. I knew my dh was up to no good, added myself to their Facebook chat and blew it all up.....

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 03/10/2018 00:43

Sorry you've been so I'll OP. This sort of thing hits you so hard physically too. Be good to yourself.Flowers

CrazySheepLady · 03/10/2018 01:38

Just caught up with your threads, OP, and just wanted to say I admire how strong you're being in the face of what's happened.

Keep your head held high, be a great example of a strong, capable woman for your daughters. Who knows what the future holds, but at least you can be sure it won't involve that weak and selfish man.

strawberrisc · 03/10/2018 06:34

Aww get well soon and keep your cards close to your poorly chest!

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 03/10/2018 09:22

Q

Mummacake · 03/10/2018 11:16

Get yourself well OP and you can deal with the practicalities when you're better. Be prepared for the guilt and the sorry and all the rest. He'll do it again & you are worth so much more. This single parent road is not an easy one, but it's better than the alternative - syayong & wondering where he is/who with etc. It's no way to live & not what your DC need to grow up with. Wishing you well Flowers

bedknobsandbroom · 03/10/2018 11:46

this shock to your system has probably triggered this, if it has nothing to do with it we will blame that bastard and that slag anyway!! Rest up lovely lady ,you will come back fighting fit, and yes the guilt bit may come but don't expect that, guilt may not run through his veins ,he didn't feel guilty at the premier inn telling you he was having a early night. Also what you are doing is teaching your girls what's right and what's wrong and how not to be treated. Yeah it can be hard at times on your own but you will get there it's better than looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. Get well soon hugs coming your way

Loyaultemelie · 03/10/2018 12:31

I hope you feel better soon Thanks

Lauren0rder · 03/10/2018 13:31

Hope you feel better soon xx

XJerseyGirlX · 03/10/2018 13:59

OP, i hope your feeling better and taking care of yourself x

Charolais · 05/10/2018 05:27

I think it is awful that in the UK you have to have a reason or grounds for a divorce. I really thought all that had changed.

I was divorced 40 years ago in the U.S. and was told by my attorney I could get divorced no matter what my husband wanted or said.

This state is a “no fault” state, meaning the only legal grounds for divorce is the “irretrievable breakdown” of the marriage. Anyone seeking a divorce in the state will be granted one. It took only 90 days from start to finish and I didn't even have to go to court. We were young and didn't have much, just a car and household furnishings. I let him keep whatever he wanted because I just wanted out. I had full custody of our son with "reasonable visitation rights" for my ex.

I hope one day divorces will be easier in the U.K because, after all, you don't have to come up with reasons to get married do you.

Sunshineandflipflops · 05/10/2018 10:14

I couldn't agree more with the above poster.
I am currently 9 months into a 2 year wait to divorce 'amicably' from my husband. He had an affair so it's not really amicable but I don't want the bitterness and messyness of filing for adultery or unreasonable behaviour. The last 9 months have been traumatic enough and I don't want the reason for the end of our marriage to define the 13 years that went before, which were happy and created 2 beautiful children.
You don't have to 'pass a test' to get married or have children together so why does it feel like you do to get divorced?

sodabreadjam · 05/10/2018 11:43

Not wishing to be nit picky on the OP’s thread but it is not the same in the whole of the UK. In Scotland it is possible to divorce after one year with both parties consenting or two years without consent - and the grounds are irretrievable breakdown of marriage.

MissMarple - I admire your dignity and strength and I wish you and your family all the best.

Trinity66 · 05/10/2018 11:50

Wishing you a speedy recovery OP, you've been amazingly strong mentally through this, maybe that's manifested itself physically? Look after yourself and let yourself be looked after too.

Alfiemoon1 · 06/10/2018 17:22

Hope you are feeling better op

Conflicted1 · 06/10/2018 20:56

Hope you are feeling better Flowers

No real advice to offer that hasn't been covered but just wanted to say I've read both threads and I'm in awe at how you've handled the situation. I only wish I could have behaved with as much dignity when I was in a similar position to you, I took mine back only to realise that was the biggest mistake I was yet to make!

Don't lose strength, you're doing brilliantly and setting a good example to your DDs

Figgygal · 10/10/2018 13:00

How are you feeling op? Hope you're fully recovered

showmewhatyougot · 10/10/2018 20:49

Hope your feeling better x

flowerpot1000000 · 11/10/2018 21:40

How r you op?

NDNDNDND93 · 14/10/2018 16:34

You are a hero. Xxxx

Hushabyelullaby · 14/10/2018 19:46

@MissMarpleMyArse I hope you're ok and have recovered from Pneumonia. How is everything else at the moment? You have been so bloody strong, I admire your strength.

NoFucksImAQueen · 15/10/2018 00:09

just wanted to add to the chorus of thinking of you x

winecigsandchoc · 20/10/2018 20:16

Just caught up with this thread- you OP are amazing and a fantastic role model for your daughters. Stay strong x

DutifulDaughterWifeMother · 21/10/2018 14:26

Hi OP, how are you feeling?? Are you over the worst?? X

PlinkPlink · 23/10/2018 21:10

Hey OP, you OK? Hope you're feeling better.

Come back when you can and let us know how you are x

Pibplob · 15/11/2018 21:24

You’re very strong. Hope you’re feeling ok.

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