I just added myself to fb chat with dh and ow

[MissMarpleMyArse]

I'm fucking fuming. I posted recently
About dh's suspect WhatsApp activity. It all stopped but I have been keeping an eye on his phone. This afternoon when he went to the toilet I clicked his apps and saw messenger was open. I've just had the chance to snoop again while he's in the shower and found messages between him and our friend (we aren't that close with her. - well I'm not). Loads of sexual stuff. I just added myself to the conversation and said 'wow I don't see that coming'
I'm upstairs now. Neither of them have read it yet.

Let your mum look after you for a bit.
You are both amazing.
It is tough but you will get through it.

Never forget or minimise this: he let me think I was going mad for months. Cruel evil bastard.

That is textbook gaslighting, and it is evil. It's as big a sin as his cheating (whether it got physical or not)

Oh OP your mum is bloody amazing.

Go mum. Both you and your mum are awesome!!

Be strong. It will be alright and you are better if without a cheating arsewipe

So the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Ballsy mums make ballsy daughters! Well done both you're amazing.

he let me think I was going mad for months. Cruel evil bastard
They all do this.
It's sick. They are fucking scumbags.

Your mum sounds amazing.
I'd be doing the same for my DD.
I'll say it again - sugary drinks and keep hydrated!!!
Solid food may feel impossible.
I survived on ice-lollies and sugary tea for a month!
So don't worry about eating.
Soup might work or smoothies.

So many of us been where you are and we can all tell you that it does get better.
Not for a while yet.
Don't expect miracles.
Look after yourself and let your mum take on what she can for now.
Accept help and love and support. You need it and deserve it!

Your mum is amazing! I can see where you got your “take no shit” attitude from. She’ll be a brilliant support for you now.

waves at MissMarpleMyArses DM - well done for the amazing support

I'd be well annoyed if my mum deleted all my messages without giving me a chance to read them.

Op I am so so sorry you are going through this. I've been through some shit and thought I was strong but absolute hats off to you and your mum

ballsy mum's make ballsy daughters agree with this 110% keep strong and focused, the crash will come again but just keep reading back on this x

Both you and your mum are amazing, OP. What a total shit of a husband. You deserve better. Sounds like your mum will keep you strong if you have any wobbles about this being the right thing to do.

OP I am so sorry. Glad your mum is being amazing.

I often think when someone cheats, it's not the physical stuff. Its the lies, the letting you think you were mad or insecure, the deceit and gas lighting that is harder to take. The physical cheating almost becomes a secondary issue. The other stuff is harder to deal with.

Your dm rocks!!
With her supporting you things will be more than fine!!
He has messed with the wrong ones!

Your mum is amazing you are amazing , keep strong xx

Did your mum give you back your phone just to let you update Mumsnet?

Glad you have support, her response is fantastic.

It's irrelevant if they ever met up physically, don't forget that.

No words of wisdom OP but felt compelled to send you my love & support .. I admire your strength, I fully understand why you handled it the way you did & would have done the very same do not feel guilty for telling her husband he deserves to know what a bitch he's married to. Your mum sounds amazing & so glad you have her to lean on.. How you handle things from now on only you can decide despite him saying nothing physical has happened I'd always wonder if it would have had you not found the messages.

What a wonderful Mum you have. Stay strong, OP. What a woman you are 💪🏻

Both you and your mum are awesome. Thinking of you OP xxx

Agree with everything MadameButterface has said.

I'm not close to my mum so who knows. But she wouldn't get to dictate when I can use my phone or what I respond to even if we were!

The amount of sycophantic cheerleading on here is nuts. Its like people got caught up in a soap opera are waiting for the next cliffhanger.

Op you mum is amazing, clearly where you’ve learnt such strength.
He’s a test and you deserve better.

*twat.

MissMarple you should be so, so proud of yourself. You’re brave and dignified and you deserve so much better than that shit stain

Ps - your mum ROCKS

Strumpet! Bang on! Oh OP i hope you laughed at that. I said to my DD I want to be there for her like yours is there for you. Let your mum take care of you for a bit x