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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I just added myself to fb chat with dh and ow

999 replies

MissMarpleMyArse · 19/09/2018 21:15

I'm fucking fuming. I posted recently
About dh's suspect WhatsApp activity. It all stopped but I have been keeping an eye on his phone. This afternoon when he went to the toilet I clicked his apps and saw messenger was open. I've just had the chance to snoop again while he's in the shower and found messages between him and our friend (we aren't that close with her. - well I'm not). Loads of sexual stuff. I just added myself to the conversation and said 'wow I don't see that coming'
I'm upstairs now. Neither of them have read it yet.

OP posts:
queenjosephine · 19/09/2018 23:11

Keep going OP. Hope he wine is helping, darling.

RatRolyPoly · 19/09/2018 23:12

Mate, respect!

And Flowers

BeUpStanding · 19/09/2018 23:12

Good for you! It's going to be a rocky road ahead but you've set off on it magnificently. Glad your mum is arriving with wine Wine

EmmaGrundyForPM · 19/09/2018 23:13

You sound amazing OP

Nowthefunbegins · 19/09/2018 23:14

Full of admiration for you, well done - wish I’d been as brave 💐

UnicornSparkles1 · 19/09/2018 23:15

Fucking hell OP! They picked the wrong lady to mess with. Go you! Pair of dirty, sneaky cunts.

I'm so glad that you have your mum with you. Turn off your phone so you don't have to deal with his bullshit later when he starts trying to wriggle his way out of the net.

yorkshireyummymummy · 19/09/2018 23:15

You really are a great example of what a strong woman is.

You didn’t sit and cry, listening to his crappy lies where somehow his affair ends up being the OWs fault ( “ she did all the chasing and got me drunk”) and your fault ( “ I feel second best since we had the kids- you always put them first and don’t have time for me and my sexual needs anymore “) did you? No, you took control, ensured that the other cuckold partner was informed of their tawdry affair and told him to sling his hook - you have a backbone of steel and a fair helping of pride - thank God he hasn’t taken that from you.

By the time you read this I expect your eyes will be red and your heart will be breaking - I hope you still hold onto some of that anger though.
You have some tough times ahead but your mum sounds like a peach ( she must be one hell of a woman to have raised a strong daughter like you) and I expect she will give you lots of support.

There will come a point when every day starts to feel a bit better.

But in twenty years time won’t your kids be proud of you! What a superb example you have set to them - that a woman does not have to stay in a marriage where her husband has cheated and lied to her. Good for you darling. Like every other woman on this thread, I am very proud of you and your courageous and rather dignified behaviour.

Pebblesandfriends · 19/09/2018 23:17

I hope your mum's there now. You rock op Wine

DreamingofSummer · 19/09/2018 23:17

Another MN member signing in to express total respect for your bravery.

With that courage and with a mum with wine you can do anything.

More power to you!

C0untDucku1a · 19/09/2018 23:20

Well done op. It will probably get worse before it gets better. Just stay strong x

Brenna24 · 19/09/2018 23:21

You are a legend. Well done for keeping your dignity and dealing with it so directly. Well done for letting her husband know too. Your Mum must be pretty amazing too to have raised you and to come straight over with wine. I have been roughly where you are - thankfully no DC for us - and it hurts and takes a long time to sort out and get over from, but I am so glad I am living the life I am now. Flowers Wine I hope that you get to this point quite quickly.

SemperIdem · 19/09/2018 23:24

What a pair of bastards! You have handled it so, so well. FlowersWine

DPotter · 19/09/2018 23:25

Respect MissMarple
I want you on my team when the shit hits the fan

amymel2016 · 19/09/2018 23:26

You’re amazing OP Flowers

Mummyoftwo91 · 19/09/2018 23:26

Your bloody amazing WineThanks

EthelThePiratesDaughter · 19/09/2018 23:28

Bloody hell, OP.

I hope your mum is helping. FlowersWine

ohdeardeardear · 19/09/2018 23:30

What a warrior of a woman. Well done. What a pair of fucking bastards.

Cjl1 · 19/09/2018 23:30

Sometimes the only thing that can help is a 'MumHug' I'm so glad she is racing her way to you op. X

maddjess · 19/09/2018 23:30

Can I just say you have handled this like a fucking warrior. Excellent. They deserve everything they get

ChishandFips33 · 19/09/2018 23:31

Bloody hell OP what shits!

glad you've got some RL support Wine

teacherspets · 19/09/2018 23:32

You are a legend.

ovendoor · 19/09/2018 23:32

Wow!
Well done for calling them out. You sound so strong!
Sending love x

Pieceofpurplesky · 19/09/2018 23:34

You have been so strong OP. Keep yourself with company as you will go through every emotion in the coming days. Hug your kids extra hard and remember all of us are here too x

IDoLoveToBeBesideTheSeaside · 19/09/2018 23:34

Keep strong MissMarple ThanksWine

Newyoiker · 19/09/2018 23:35

I'm so sorry Thankswhat a dick

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