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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I just added myself to fb chat with dh and ow

999 replies

MissMarpleMyArse · 19/09/2018 21:15

I'm fucking fuming. I posted recently
About dh's suspect WhatsApp activity. It all stopped but I have been keeping an eye on his phone. This afternoon when he went to the toilet I clicked his apps and saw messenger was open. I've just had the chance to snoop again while he's in the shower and found messages between him and our friend (we aren't that close with her. - well I'm not). Loads of sexual stuff. I just added myself to the conversation and said 'wow I don't see that coming'
I'm upstairs now. Neither of them have read it yet.

OP posts:
Jaxtellerswife · 19/09/2018 22:55

I'm glad your mum is coming. I'm sorry for all you're going through

Bobbiepin · 19/09/2018 22:55

Try to get some sleep tonight OP. Tomorrow will be tough. Eat whatever and whenever you can.

whereiscaroline · 19/09/2018 22:56

So sorry this has happened to you OP Thanks but you are brilliant. So strong. Well done.

Belindablinks · 19/09/2018 22:56

Can you turn your mobile off tonight? I suspect he will be messaging you later once he's come up with a plan and you won't want to hear his miserable weak pathetic 'excuses'. Hope your mum is with you now.

PeachFamily · 19/09/2018 22:58

Well done! This is probably the bravest thing I have ever read in mumsnet.

royalton · 19/09/2018 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laine21 · 19/09/2018 22:58

Do you have joint accounts, he may now try to take out money to cover his 'extra expenses' get there first is my advice.

Belindablinks · 19/09/2018 22:58

And yes, tomorrow is going to be a rough day. You will get through it, I promise you. Take it one minute at a time and be as kind to yourself as you can.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 19/09/2018 22:59

Oh my god what an absolute pair of shits. You are amazing. I know you probably don’t feel it right now and you’re probably in bits but you are so strong and brilliant to have handled it the way you did. I’m so sorry this has happened to you but you can get through this. He never deserved you x

gottastopeatingchocolate · 19/09/2018 23:00

If there is one thing better than Mum at a time like this, it's Mum with wine!

Just want to wish you all the best for the future. Flowers

Sparrowlegs248 · 19/09/2018 23:00

Bloody hell OP. What a magnificent way to handle a really bloody awful situation. Well done for being so on the ball. I'm glad your mum is coming, and I hope you don't feel too dreadful once the dust settles . What a pair of arseholes.

RobinHobb · 19/09/2018 23:00

Well done OP

Faster · 19/09/2018 23:01

Fucking hell OP. You are fab!

shuthefrontdoor · 19/09/2018 23:02

What an arsehole! Hope her husband has chucked her out an all!! Well done OP! X

Cantgetthisshitoutmyhead · 19/09/2018 23:03

Well done you. Magnificent x

badmgr · 19/09/2018 23:04

Hope you’re ok op. And well done for handling it so well. Amazingly quick thinking. Nice you have your mum there for support

DeadButDelicious · 19/09/2018 23:04

What a pair of bastards.

And well done you. I'm glad you have someone with you for when the adrenaline wears off. It must of been such a shock.

Stay strong. He's a cunt. You deserve better.

Beacauseisaidso · 19/09/2018 23:06

💐

SausageSimon · 19/09/2018 23:08

I'm glad to hear your mum is on her way, and that bastard is gone! I can't imagine how you and her husband are feeling right now Thanks

honeysucklejasmine · 19/09/2018 23:08

So sorry op, that's really shit. You've handled it marvellously, well done.

shelikespinacalada · 19/09/2018 23:08

You go girl!
The nasty, gross specimen of a man I had the misfortune to be once married to had an affair too.
When I found out about it, I drunkenly put something on fb, after I had sent messages to any member of her and her husbands family I could find. My best friend privately replied asking what it was all about (as a so called bf I'd of been on the phone and round hers like a shot)
I told her I found out he was having an affair.
There was no reply, ever,
The shit bag was actually having an affair with someone else, but she thought I'd found out about her and him!!!

I got rid of the two low life scumbags sooner than you could say 'Karma is wonderful thing'

I decided though not to ever say anything to her partner, wet drip he was too, I figured if she was so unhappy in her own relationship that she would of scooped so low as to want that vile cretin and do that to me, I would rather leave her there in that desperate unhappiness.

You will survive, you will thrive. So will your children, because of your strength.
They made their bed, let them lie in it, whilst you show them you are by miles and miles that you are so much a better person that they could ever be.
Well done, take care, ride the storm with strength, composure and true freedom.

newdaylight · 19/09/2018 23:08

You sound brilliant, and so does your mum

Sarcelle · 19/09/2018 23:10

Titanium Woman. We salute you.

SingingSands · 19/09/2018 23:10

Way to go OPWineThanks

(Hugs for when the adrenaline rush subsides)

NoFucksImAQueen · 19/09/2018 23:11

I'm so sorry you're going through this Flowers

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