Just received a DM from a pregnant OW

[sadnessinseattle]

Sigh. Just that really.

H has form for cheating. I thought that was all in the past. We've been so good recently.

Just opened up my Facebook messages and I have a message (in Spanish - DH is Spanish and goes back for a couple weeks sometimes. I sometimes go with, I didn't this summer)

"The family in Spain is growing by 1 🤰🏻

What lovely little surprises he brings when he comes to stay 🧚🏻‍♀️❤️

I've used a fake profile to send this message but don't worry he will tell you everything soon..."

Seriously. With the emojis too.

I'm in bits.

Just confronted him as it's his day off and he was sleeping and he's denying it completely, saying he's got nothing to hide, he's not worried, it's someone crazy trying to break us up, etc.

I believe it. I've just had what felt like a panic attack in the shower.

I don't know what to do next.

What do I do?

We've argued and he's gone out acting al upset because I don't believe him.

When we were first together I know he was seeing someone from back home and she used to send me messages saying she wanted him back, she wouldn't stop at anything etc. I think it's her.

We've been together for 6 years, married nearly 3. No kids. I don't work as we moved away and it worked best for us like this. I've always been here to look after him and be a "good wife". If we divorce do I get nothing because we have no kids?? He's a high earned. I want to rinse every penny out of him. I can't stand him but I love him and I just wish it wasn't true but I feel like it is, it has to be.

What do I do?

He has two kids from a previous relationship that live with their mum in Spain but I don't think it's her. She surely wouldn't use all the emojis. The emojis seem cruel 😢

She refers to them as 'family' so it could well be the mother of his first two children.

I'm so sorry. I have a Spanish husband and it hasn't ended well. They are VERY sexist IMHO. She will have all the rights here, if she lives in Spain, that is. Sending you But, is she really pregnant? Sounds dodgy to me.

What a shock. Terrible message to receive. Well done for knowing it's over. Now you need legal advice. Speak to a solicitor or go to citizen's advice. Stay strong.

When you say he was seeing someone from back home, do you mean he was in a relationship with her when you got with him? So she probably sees you as the OW. I don't know, this should have given you a clear indicator of who he was when you first met him. Shit situation though and if he was innocent he wouldnt have gone out in a strop, he would have sat down with you and talked it out.

You have no kids, seriously, I'd leave him to it

I'm sorry, OP, but I think it must be her if she's using the expression 'the family is growing.'

What a pig this man is. You are still entitled to a share of the family money, no matter whether you have children or not. Channel your energy now and go to see a solicitor.

It could’ve someone who knows them and not necessarily the mum of his kids but referring to them. If I were you I’d get a job, rent a flat and serve him with divorce papers.

Her use of the word family makes me think it is the ex too.

When you say he was seeing someone from back home, do you mean he was in a relationship with her when you got with him? So she probably sees you as the OW. I don't know, this should have given you a clear indicator of who he was when you first met him

No it was more overlap on a casual relationship. She even admitted it was just sex to me. Sending me messages asking if we could "share"

Hollow talk is right, the wife normally gets half in Spain. Children the rest. But you have to have resided her and get divorced here. Have you?

I honestly don't feel like it's the mum of his two others. She's fair, she's sensible. If she wanted to tell me she would have done it from her own profile, not hiding who she is.

They had been split for two years before we got together btw, on her terms. I wasn't OW

No we have only lived in the UK

How do I find a good divorce lawyer? I'm googling but how can I tell who is good?

She said she would stop at nothing... are you sure it’s true?

If I got a message like this about my DH I wouldn’t believe it for a second - the fact you do suggests serious issues in your marriage already. I’m so sorry

Exactly. My first thought was that it was true. I've never truly trusted him since the beginning when I found out some shit. I should've cut my losses then but he's so fucking convincing.

Should I reply to her? Ask who she is??

That's a really bitchy message, it's intent is to hurt.

I would suspect it's not real due to its phrasing. Although he is likely to have been sleeping with her.

With only six years together, married three, no you wouldn't be entitled to much if any spousal maintenance.

Reply to her telling her he has denied it all. Said that she is 'crazy'. Tell her to away and stop bothering you with her nonsense. See what happens then...

Yes, I'd ask who she is and for more details. Tell her you don't believe her so unless she can prove it you'll carry on as you are. Then you might get the proof you want.

So sorry for you. Don't let him manipulate you and twist things. Good luck

Play her at her own game.

Reply something like...

‘In your dreams ☁️ We are massively in love 💕 our life together is wonderful 💝 we have never been so happy! 💑and our sex life is amazing!!

She will have to reply to that. See what she says.

Obviously you’ll carry on with the divorce, but get all the ammo you can. Then use adultery as the ‘reason’.

Hang in there, you’ll be FAR happier in the future and wonder why you didn’t do it sooner 🌷

You are in a panic and I don't blame you . I would ask her to provide you with proof e.g. maybe dates when he was there with her ? Ask her to reveal who she really is - cool message back saying you don't deal with anonymous people. Be vigilant though - something has been going on .

Your husband is a lying cheat. Just bin him, find someone more worthy.

So sorry OP what a horrible bitch to send a message like that. If there's nothing to it then he shouldn't have gone off in a huff and played the victim in my view. He should be rationally explaining himself. How grim.

Just as an aside. Husband is getting a huge bonus at the end of the month. Like 6 figures.
Could I claim for half of it and then just sod off. Clean break kind of thing?

Have just reread the message

She used these -
🤰🏻👶🏼🧚🏻‍♀️😍😍❤️❤️❤️

So she's either 12 or a really spiteful bitch.