Just received a DM from a pregnant OW

[sadnessinseattle]

Sigh. Just that really.

H has form for cheating. I thought that was all in the past. We've been so good recently.

Just opened up my Facebook messages and I have a message (in Spanish - DH is Spanish and goes back for a couple weeks sometimes. I sometimes go with, I didn't this summer)

"The family in Spain is growing by 1 🤰🏻

What lovely little surprises he brings when he comes to stay 🧚🏻‍♀️❤️

I've used a fake profile to send this message but don't worry he will tell you everything soon..."

Seriously. With the emojis too.

I'm in bits.

Just confronted him as it's his day off and he was sleeping and he's denying it completely, saying he's got nothing to hide, he's not worried, it's someone crazy trying to break us up, etc.

I believe it. I've just had what felt like a panic attack in the shower.

I don't know what to do next.

What do I do?

We've argued and he's gone out acting al upset because I don't believe him.

When we were first together I know he was seeing someone from back home and she used to send me messages saying she wanted him back, she wouldn't stop at anything etc. I think it's her.

We've been together for 6 years, married nearly 3. No kids. I don't work as we moved away and it worked best for us like this. I've always been here to look after him and be a "good wife". If we divorce do I get nothing because we have no kids?? He's a high earned. I want to rinse every penny out of him. I can't stand him but I love him and I just wish it wasn't true but I feel like it is, it has to be.

What do I do?

That's a good POA. I think it's a trouble maker, my money is on the casual ex. She sounds a bit cray cray and already has form for messaging you.

"Please say you're kidding 😭😭😭
That's so weird because we have a very active sex life. If he's cheating on me then he's also cheating on you. A lot.
I'm so sorry you're pregnant to a serial cheater. How will you cope?"

I've done something similar and they broke up a week later. Obviously we didn't get back together because he was cheating. But it meant he lost everything as was alone.

Get the upper hand.

I definitely don't think you should stay with him even if it's not true - you deserve more than a relationship built on mistrust & there are people out there that would love and respect you.

Have a look at the CoatsProtectionLeague thread, OP. An easy way of squirrelling away cash is getting cashback everywhere, it all adds up.

Good grief, you don't trust him, he's got form for cheating in your short marriage already and your instinct is to believe the message.

Just end it.

Life is short. Don't waste your time waiting for proof. Living with someone you can't trust is bad for your mh.

Go back to work. Divorce. Stop thinking divorce should be punitive - what it is, is freedom from a relationship that's bad for you. You've already spent 6 years on him, move on.

As I read it, it might not be from the woman herself. Another family member maybe? How old are his kids, old enough to be trusted with a secret and a phone?
Some extended family member?

How awful for you OP. As others have said, see if you can entice her into giving more details by sending either a dismissive message or asking straight questions.