Seduction advice needed

[EleanorLoves]

Hello,

I really need your help. I am very attracted to a man at work. He seems interested too but I'm not 100% sure. I feel like the sexual tension is building up between us.

My office has a very strict no relationships policy but fortunately he is leaving in early December for a new role elsewhere.

I'm looking for some sneaky tricks to get into his mind and under his skin. I already told him that I had a dream about him, and that seems to have helped. But I need more sneaky, slow burn ideas please! Little mind tricks...

Obviously I don't want things to peak too soon as I have over 2.5 months to fill.

Thanks in advance.

P.S. Ultimate aim is to make him mine, long term.

Thank you Bluntness100. I needed to hear that. You are totally right. I need to pull myself back a bit.

@EleanorLoves Have you read The Rules books? Love them or hate them, they always come true. What you're describing here perfectly describes the "fantasy relationships" they talk about in one of the first books.

In short: a man doesn't exist until he asks you out on a date! This speculation feels harmless to you - even a sweet little boost to your working day - but really, it's a waste of your very precious time.

The minutes you spend here starting threads about this man are minutes you're not spending on other things: a fulfilling hobby, studying, online-dating, reading a cracking book, watching a wonderful film... Engaging and participating in real life.

I just had an open evening at my younger son's prospective secondary school. Walking round the classrooms dedicated to each subject, I could've kicked myself for not once beating more in my lessons! The world is full of such fascinating, absorbing activities - there's so, so much more to life than men and dating. I've wasted years mooning about various men and I regret them.

Get in with making your own life as brilliant as you possibly can and the right man will find you.

But the time you spend plotting to try to get a crumb of affection from men like this - who aren't making any tangible effort to secure a date with you - is all wasted.

I hope that's not harsh. It's said with a lot of love, I promise.

I could've kicked myself for not concentrating more in my lessons, that should say 🙈

That’s a great post whats and one I could learn from too.

WhatsGoingOnEh, I read the original Rules religiously when I was younger but I had forgotten that. It's very wise and true. I have also been forgetting that I am the prize (not him!). Believe it or not I actually have a very fulfilling life otherwise. For the first time that I can remember.. I love my job, I am really happy with my appearance, I have a wonderful family, incredible friendships, I live by my values, I genuinely really like myself, I feel fulfilled. The only gap in my life is having someone to share emotional, physical and sexual intimacy with. I felt like he had the potential to be that final piece of the jigsaw. I didn't imagine I would meet him. In fact I was going along quite happily with my life, not even noticing the 'X shaped gap' in it. But now that I have met him, I want him to be a part of my life.

Also I worked hard at school and am doing my dream job. I realise I am incredibly lucky.

You need to bide your time is all. I reckon he'll ask you for our an innocent coffee when he leaves.

what a great post WhatsGoingOnEh. op, you did your best, just get on with your life. if he asks then he asks, but he may not.

WhatsGoingOnEh
What fantastic and oh so simple advice! I wish I could go back in time and tell my 20 something self that! Oh the heartache I would save!

Hey Eleanor, how is it going? Any further forward? Did you go for a drink or text?

Hello 1unhappymum, thanks for thinking of me. We went for our drinks. It was nice but he was stressed because of something work related. Not much flirting and I couldn't do the leg thing as we were perpendicular to each other!
We're working on a project together this weekend. It's all going very well. We're having lots of lovely chats about everything under the sun. I just think that maybe he doesn't think of me in the same way. He is full of mixed signals. Also, he talks to me a lot with his arms crossed, which I presume is a bad sign.

And I just want to lean in, give him a kiss and peel all his clothes off!

Somebody has probably said this but do you think r has told you the work thing as he reads your signals and is not interested

Pieceofpurplesky can you say that again, I didn't understand. Thanks

Unfortunately I agree with piece, he has told you that he never mixes work with pleasure to signal that he's not interested. If he was interested, he'd have done something about it by now and wouldn't care about mixing business and pleasure!

You're most probably right GloomyMonday but I think I'm just going to continue being great friends with him and see where it goes. Worst case scenario I will gain a lovely friend.

Crossed arms is closed body language generally but he could just be protecting himself. It’s difficult to say. Do you normally work weekends or is he going out of his way to work the weekend on this project with you?

I wouldn't read too much into the crossed arms. I stand like this because I feel like a lemon if I'm talking to someone and they are just hanging by my sides.

I snared the hunk in my office many moons ago by using lots of prolonged eye contact, general conversations,making him laugh and then on a works night out after a few drinks running my foot up and down his leg..... we were in a relationship not long after that. Maybe I'm a good rubber

tell him your going on a date, when he asks what your doing next weekend, and carefully observe his reaction, whilst saying 'a date with my girlfriends from school, we meet up every now and then' - or something along those lines, I think it could tell you all you need to know x

He's not interested and trying to be gentle as he is a nice man. He is saying he doesn't get involved at work to spare your feelings and hope you don't make a move on him