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Original poster

is internet flirting cheating?

90 replies

spogs · 08/06/2007 12:53

I have just found out my partner has been flirting on the internet he claims it is harmless and i have nothing to worry about and soes not see my problem with it .....help me understand it........if you can as i cannot

OP posts:
zizou · 08/06/2007 12:54

no it is definitely not ok!

zizou · 08/06/2007 12:54

I mean it is not ok; it IS cheating.

MamaG · 08/06/2007 12:55

No. Its out of order and disrespectful to you.

MamaG · 08/06/2007 12:55

I mean No, its not ok

(giggles with zizou)

Speccy · 08/06/2007 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 08/06/2007 12:58

Well, it depends what the 'flirting' is, I reckon. If he's exchanging explicit sexual messages on a site specifically for that purpose that's different IMO from a flirtatious post, or email remark, or RL remark. Unless you count all flirtation as cheating, which I don't.

Megglevache · 08/06/2007 12:58

Message withdrawn

smudgermumof3 · 08/06/2007 13:02

hi all , soz to butt in in im new. my ex husband used to flirt in line i used to get really angry with it but sort of put up with it i spose but he used to go out and meet the women after a certain amount of time chatting to them, it may start of harmless but it can develop i wouldnt want to tar everyone with the same brush as my ex he was always having affairs from the moment we got together only came out when we split up, which was better for me cos i divorced him quicker and took him for everything thing he had which is satifaction in itself oh and the white gloss paint on all his clothes his car and his beloved computer and golf clubs lol enough about me hope to chat to you all soon xxxx

Anniegetyourgun · 08/06/2007 13:02

It depends. There's flirting and flirting. Saying "hello gorgeous" to a number of people you only know through their internet personas is nothing. Getting to know them one-on-one and sending flirtatious personal messages is something very like cheating. Certainly if it makes you feel uncomfortable he shouldn't do it.

I've been internet flirting for about the last year with dozens of people I play online games with, and it can be tremendous, harmless fun, but I wouldn't do it if I hadn't already made it clear that our marriage is effectively over. For one thing it's amazing how easy it is to be lured into really caring for someone you haven't even met. I've been there and have the scars on my soul to prove it. Fantasy people are so much more attractive than real live ones...

CountessDracula · 08/06/2007 13:02

IMO if he is doing something that he is hiding from you that is cheating

mytwopenceworth · 08/06/2007 13:05

anything that you wouldn't do with your partner sat next to you is cheating imo.

so unless he is happy to sit with you at the computer next time, his mind is cheating!!

Speccy · 08/06/2007 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 08/06/2007 13:09

Good god, do none of you ever exchange a flirtatious glance with a fetching passer-by?

I have no idea what this bloke's been doing, though I suspect it is rather explicit. But I can't say that I would like every single glance/urge/remark I make to be known to my partner!

nattyp · 08/06/2007 13:09

agyg has made a really good point, even if you never meet the person, youve made a connection sometimes with that unknown person shared personal thoughts and feelings and been strangely intimate i reckon its cheating but i also know someone who lets her partner do it because she says they dont meet...each to their own

MamaG · 08/06/2007 13:16

MI, I agree with you, but as a divorce lawyer I see a lot of adultery stemming from flirting on the net

motherinferior · 08/06/2007 13:20

I do agree, MamaG (didn't know you were a divorce lawyer).

nomdeplume · 08/06/2007 13:22

mamaG I didn't know you were a solicitor either

[mamaG hiding light under a bushel emoticon req]

ahundredtimes · 08/06/2007 13:23

Hmm. I thought MamaG's line about it being 'disrespectful' to you is about right.
Not officially cheating, but definitely unecessary imo. I wouldn't like it at all.

Men can fool themselves that things ARE separate though, he may not be being duplicitous, he may just need you to point out to him why you don't like it.

Original poster
spogs · 08/06/2007 13:29

he goes on face party has anyone heard of it i have visited site and is crazy and far fom innocent

OP posts:
Original poster
spogs · 08/06/2007 13:30

he says he needs is to escape flirt and be made to feel good

OP posts:
Speccy · 08/06/2007 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
spogs · 08/06/2007 13:31

so i am best to walk away as he will never stop i have 2 kids one of which is new born such a hard decision to make

OP posts:
ahundredtimes · 08/06/2007 13:31

ooh sprogs. That's not very kind is it? Have you told him how it makes you feel?

ahundredtimes · 08/06/2007 13:32

x post - I mean not very kind of your dh to say that, not of you to walk away.

Original poster
spogs · 08/06/2007 13:33

your right he does he is 31 at least and has a family to think of

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