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Original poster

What to make of this?

394 replies

Saturdaynightthoughts · 01/09/2018 23:08

Received a text today after no contact from DH all day - He's been out with friends.

It states:

I'll never understand why you want me to go but I'm at the station for another 30 minutes x

Is it me or does this seem a little... weird/strange/random? No contact as I said since he left this morning and I anticipate he's probably drunk

OP posts:
ellav · 02/09/2018 08:09

Have you asked him yet?

Sounds like he's woken up, panicked, got his ducks in a row on his phone, and gone back to bed to avoid the issue.

subspace · 02/09/2018 08:13

He usually deletes call logs, texts etc, has his phone on him the whole time, with a passcode, has a load of work mates you've never met...

I can hear the alarm bells loud and clear from here OP. SadFlowers

NadiaLeon · 02/09/2018 08:16

Do not snoop or access his phone.
Just like on many other threads, this is a misunderstanding, and snooping will raise the temperature unecessarily.

Funicorn · 02/09/2018 08:20

NadiaLeon OMG what on earth ...

NotTakenUsername · 02/09/2018 08:23

NadiaLeon.

No. Just... no.

What to make of this?
Funicorn · 02/09/2018 08:24

It's a shame but only natural that you reacted and alerted him . Sorry but I would say from what you have said that he is having an affair .

PattiStanger · 02/09/2018 08:25

I'm not always one to be suspicious but in this case I can't see a reasonable explanation, sorry OP

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 02/09/2018 08:30

this is a misunderstanding

I really want it to be a misunderstanding but how? What is the innocent context that is even slightly plausible?

Original poster
Saturdaynightthoughts · 02/09/2018 08:31

NadiaLeon I don't understand how it's a misunderstanding?

I didn't understand what to make of the text because it made no sense to anything - I hadn't asked him to go / come home or anything like that so therefore it was totally random - there's nothing about misunderstanding there?

Haven't spoken to him yet. He's still in bed (nursing his hang over) but we now have bigger fish to fry as I asked him to hold the baby the morning and he pulled a face and did a 'urghhh' sound. Which I appreciate is probably because of the hangover but he knew he had kids at home & that he'd barely spent any time with them all week so should not have got himself in the state he's in that he can't even hold the baby for 2 minutes whilst I went for a pee!

I'm sure I'm probably overreacing to that due to the situation with the text but it just highlights how bloody selfish he is.

OP posts:
FlosCampi · 02/09/2018 08:44

I think you need to ask him straightforwardly to explain. If it is not totally convincing, and it's hard to imagine that it could be - is that really a standard response to a friend from work in any circumstances- then you'll have to say you have a bad feeling about this and you'd like him to unlock his phone and give it to you for the next few days. If he panics even a little bit, if he needs 5 mins first, or you can see in his eyes he is afraid or frantically planning, you know he's a cheat.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 02/09/2018 09:08

I dunno. My iPhone does some strange autocorrecting. He might have meant to put 'I know you will want me home but I have to wait 30 minutes for next train' or similar

MarthasGinYard · 02/09/2018 09:14

I don't think it was for you

I'd want to see the phone

SparklyMagpie · 02/09/2018 09:21

That definitely wasn't for you.

Funny how he got up so early first aswell

Forfuppsake · 02/09/2018 09:22

@NadiaLeon

Ehhhh?????!!! Confused

Are you OP’s husband by any chance?

HollyBollyBooBoo · 02/09/2018 09:26

I don't know how you've been so patient Op! I have zero patience and would have had it out with him straight away, the suspense would eat away at me!

blitzen · 02/09/2018 09:29

Could he have made a tit of himself with the people he was with and was asked to leave?

I do find it suspicious though x

rainbowstardrops · 02/09/2018 09:33

You're a better person and calmer than me because I'd have hoiked him out of bed by now and demanded an explanation!

SendYouUpInFlames · 02/09/2018 09:38

First thing i thought when reading that message was,

A woman has told him to go (probably because he was blind drunk as you say) and he is confused as to why, but letting her know he still has 30 mins until his train comes if she still wants to meet.

Sounds to me like the work friend is a female friend who he is familiar and in contact with regualy.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 02/09/2018 09:43

Could he have made a tit of himself with the people he was with and was asked to leave?

If he doesn’t put a kiss on his messages to OP it would be a bit weird to put them on messages to colleagues.

Original poster
Saturdaynightthoughts · 02/09/2018 09:57

He's up.
I showed him the text and asked him what on earth it meant.
He looked nervous/shocked and said 'wasn't for you' so I said I'd worked it out, who was it for. He then said he doesn't know, doesn't remember sending it.

So I said 'Someone wanted you to go or leave, nor something that happends everyday, you must know' and he's just pleading ignorance.

He's lying.

OP posts:
Queenofthedrivensnow · 02/09/2018 09:59

So sorry op

Bodear · 02/09/2018 10:02

Trust your gut op. I’m so sorry x

TubeTop · 02/09/2018 10:04

Sorry to hear that OP. I hope you get the truth out of him today.

MyOtherProfile · 02/09/2018 10:04

Ask him to show you on his phone then that will miraculously remind him who it was to.

Original poster
Saturdaynightthoughts · 02/09/2018 10:09

MyOtherProfile I asked who he'd been messaging before/after and he made a point of looking.. showed me there were no texts (he'd deleted them) and when asked to see the call log he said 'I deleted that too'

I questioned that as it sounded quite smug? and he said 'If I deleted texts, I'd delete the call log as normal' then went to talk to one of the children rather than talk about it anymore.

It's difficult with the children here to discuss it fully but there's no way I'm falling for the bullshit or ignoring it. I will be finding out today or he'll be going until he's prepared to talk the truth.

OP posts: