What to make of this?

[Saturdaynightthoughts]

Received a text today after no contact from DH all day - He's been out with friends.

It states:

I'll never understand why you want me to go but I'm at the station for another 30 minutes x

Is it me or does this seem a little... weird/strange/random? No contact as I said since he left this morning and I anticipate he's probably drunk

What?!

Who is saying this?

Can it really be possible timelinewise?

Really sorry for you - you must be devastated . As will your children & PILs
That explains where money is going.
If it was me, I'd have to know as much as possible.
As he's your husband, wondering if he's also married to the O.W.? Bigamist, or just straightforward Adulterer?
He's a nasty, deceitful man.

I'm not sure if I believe it - I suspect he may have been having an affair for a while. Not sure it's possible there are other children, but then how could I know, I never knew he was having an affair.

He was working late, went on nights out at least 1/2 nights a month if not more. Sometimes not getting in until crazy time. But children, another family for so long? I don't know.

His best friends sister is the one who said it. Where it originally came from I don't know. Hoping for the children & in laws sake that it's lies.

:(

Wow.

I hope for your children's sake it's not true, but wow. What an absolute scum of a man he is.

Wow.. I truly hope for your sake and your kids that it isn't true! What a shit he is

Dear Lord, OP, I’m so sorry. What an absolute arsehole!

You on the other hand are bloody amazing!!

Talking to a friend earlier, I said it sounds like a really bad soap drama or even a boring novel.
I'd like to see the soap drama, just so I can see what waits ahead considering I never imagined any single step of this journey I've been thrown on

I don't know whether I'm angry, sad or shocked. The man I thought I knew has turned out to be a stranger. Even if this is all lies, the man I thought I was with would never have abandoned his children like this.

It’s like Dr Foster on steroids. Flip sake op, I hope it isn’t true too - but there is rarely smoke without fire.

oh wow - im so shocked OP.

if it is true, it does explain how he can not be bothered about seeing his children. if he has other children that he only sees a few times a month he must be good at compartmentalising.

would you meet with the OW and let her know about your family? i doubt she is aware of your family.

but then again, the first text message was strange. “ill never understand why you want me to go” hmm.

hope you’re ok OP.

What the actual fecking hell !!? Really ? No, surely not. Oh god OP no one saw that coming !

Right if this is true now is the time to sort your finances ASAP and get thee to a solicitor love, you need stability financially and the arse wipe needs to provide for his family.

Sending hugs and and

Omg!!!!! Have you tried to make contact with him? I am so sorry, that must really hurt.

Hope u are ok op

I’m sorry. This is very sad. I wonder if the rumours have come from him being seen on and off with another woman who has children.. and people have gossiped and decided that they must be his.
Hopefully they are not. So he can concentrate on your kids. It does sound like a classic case of “thinks the grass is greener” though.

He will fall down hard eventually op. Karma is a bitch

OP you are doing such an amazing job right now! Raising a family after a can, no barrel, of worms has been opened.
The bf sister wouldn’t say that without any sort of knowledge-it’s just too shocking. I just can’t believe this man! He needs to start answering some questions.
I’m glad you have a good relationship with his parents but they could be about to learn they have other grandchildren, it’s going to be a rollercoaster for them too.

As always, take one day/hour at a time, be kind to yourself and your kids

I'm so full of admiration for how you're dealing with this x

I'm so sorry this is happening. His parents must be so disappointed in him too. The whole thing is shocking.

Bloody hell!!!!! If all that is true then he bloody needs to start talking and giving you some answers!!!! Whether he likes it or not.
Tosser.

OP - that’s insane and I really really feel for you. I know some men do this, it is rare but it happens.

If this other woman has been the side bitch for 5-6 years, whether the kids are his or not, she’s either a giant mug or she’s desperately/cynically using him for the money. She can have him now but as she “always wants him to go” I think he’d end up with egg on his face. What an utter prick.

Oh god op... I really hope for you and yours that that rumour isn't correct. I can't believe he still hasn't given you any sort of explanation. It's inhumane behaviour.

Caught him in the act of removing the things I'd packed for him (I don't want any of his shit in the house now).
He wasn't willing to give many answers to anything but apparently he is 'dating' now and has 'met someone really nice' - had the bare faced cheek to tell me my DC would love her.

I can not legally stop him introducing anyone to them but I will not be allowing him to just waltz in and take them out with her. Apart from saying they'd love her, he never once asked about or mentioned them at all. When asked why he didn't contact his parents to arrange seeing them, he said he was busy.

Thankfully DC are doing okay. Settling in well at school and haven't asked the last day or two when he's coming home or if they can speak to him on the phone (I text him end of last week saying eldest was going to call - he didn't pick up)

What...the bare faced cheek and lack of compassion is staggering! saturday you are doing so well. But how you managed not to thump him one I don’t know..he’s “met” someone and is dating ..already? It’s been a week? Seriously lovely get yourself to a solicitor and get everything boxed off now while he’s loved up and distracted he’s a total bastard.
So had Dc have stopped asking and that they are settling well in school. Kids are resilient.

If I was you I’d tell his parents what he’s told you so you’re all on the same page with his crap behaviour

I despise this creature! How can he be so callous, so self absorbed, so beyond awful?! In the space of what, 10 days??

Although he's obviously been these things for much longer, but now he also has absolutely no shame?

You are so well rid of this walloper.

Oh I made sure to phone his parents - under the disguise of letting them know he was alive (he's still avoiding them!). During the conversation I tried to tell them everything he'd said whilst here (which wasn't much, he loved the phrase ''none of your business'')
Let's just say they are even more unimpressed with him than I thought possible.

His parents gave quite a large cheque over the weekend. I haven't banked it as I don't desperately need the money at the moment and it's not their responsibility, it's their son who should be supporting his children. The fact that they cared so much to give it meant the world.
It's lovely to see that even though their son is a twat, they will make sure they at least keep in contact with the children.

I've seen a solicitor and everything is in motion. I thought perhaps not having an address for him might have been difficult but my solicitor said he can contact him via his work if he needs to.

The last 10 days have been a rollercoaster and a half. I'd like to get off it now.