Dating Thread 139: clowns swiping left to me, jokers to the right...

[Pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I hate that cool...

Or I get asked a lot "what are you looking for?" On pof, where you state your intent... read the profile 🙄I think they're just hoping I say "dick no strings attached".

Daff wish I was. You’re mixing Vet and me up as we were going to run off together if we didn’t find anyone up to our extremely exacting dating standards (ie a normal, sane man, possibly of above average intelligence, who doesn’t have a profile photo taken in a toilet)
But now she’s actually found one, the lucky beeyotch, so I’m reduced to swiping left on Bumble once more. Woe.

I could probably do with a man’s view of my profile actually, if that’s on offer still. I’m getting fuck all message wise on POF now I’ve set the initial message criteria to over 50 characters and Bumble’s been throwing up (how apt) a slew of unmatchers before I’ve even sent the first message. That’s probably the “swipe on everyone” brigade though. Their loss

I’m starting to feel everyone’s punching above their weight online. Maybe I am, though I do avoid the obviously buff and tanned with their sharp suits and perfect facial hair arrangements.
I am only searching 40-50 now, mind. As the actual 50+ men are lying anyway and the online 50+ are clearly drawing their pensions. And not spending any of it on dental hygiene.

Will try for a proper catch up later. Got a couple of chats on the go, but you know......meh.

cool I do ask people that sometimes as some people are only on it for sex or hook ups whereas I am definitely not so like to determine that early on so I don't waste my time!

cover I'm searching 42 to 55 and probably getting a similar type to you unfortunately

I am interested to hear if this person who lovebombed/ghosted me is the same as (sorry forgot name and can't scroll down) on thread. Be wary if it is! I went back today and read the messages to see if I was mad - I held back the ENTIRE time (which is good to see in retrospect) but I can see he was planning to do stuff with me in 3 weeks time etc. It was actually extraordinary. He is on bumble and is 53/54.

Mr Music is still messaging sporadically and wants to meet up this week but there is something just not right and my spidey senses are very rarely wrong. Let alone the unreliability thang.

Deep back into work from tomorrow and this will cool off.

haven't got back to Mr Northern1 re date 3, just too undecided I think

I agree cover, I do wonder if we're all guilty of waiting for the perfect one but then again, it does happen (look at vet!)

Vet! This is so exciting!

Does anyone understand how the hell OKCupid works? Is the app really glitchy, am I doing something wrong, or just thick?

I have picked up a handful of new irons and I have half promised a few of them we'd chat tonight. I'm just back from a crazy day of external meetings at work and all I want is to drink tea and watch Dietland. There is a complicating factor....

"Friend" is on my mind. So much that about 3 or 4 times an hour I tell myself firmly (outloud if I'm driving, alone) "he's not your guy."

He really isn't; I honestly do not want a. a boyfriend b. him as a boyfriend and c. he doesn't want me. But when he's sweet, he's so bloody sweet, and I can't get him out of my head. I wonder if I would have more enthusiasm chatting to these chaps if not for him.

Don't say "just go for it". honestly, the right answer is shutting it down, not ramping it up.

I could probably do with a man’s view of my profile actually, if that’s on offer still.

Happy to glance my eye over your profile if you'd like Cover

We actually chatted for a few weeks at the start of the year.But he was still sorting his life out after divorce and confidence issues and I was dating someone on and off ( many oldies from here will know as Mr Fuckhead-he really was hard work but delicious! )
I finally ended it pointless on/ off fling with Mr Fuckhead in March and this one ( Mr Beard) suddenly, got back in touch and asked me for a date at the beginning of May.
We finally went on a date and ......the rest is history!
We have been completely into each other ever since. Had a couple of weekend away together and we see each other as much as we can. We get on SO well!
have both got teenage children and both had long unhappy marriages.
We both have similar level management jobs and do shift work and our own places so lots of equality..... Which I think is SO important .
It just works..... And I can't get enough of him

Oh Lost that all sounds so lovely.

oh lost I am so happy for you x

That's so good lost 😊

Thanks guys, at the moment I am very happy. So OLD does have its
Successes
I'm not naive though and I know hoe easily it can all fall apart. My divorce has definitely done its damage to me and my self esteem.

@subspace - yeah some kind of behavioural experiment to see how often you can waste someones time hehe. Damn...he looked a bit of alright though

@subspace - yeah some kind of behavioural experiment to see how often you can waste someones time hehe. Damn...he looked a bit of alright though

Oops, sorry for the multi-post

Well, I'm here on the world's furthest and longest first date and thankfully it's utterly amazing  So far it has been better than I could have hoped... I knew we had incredible chemistry on the video calls and it's even stronger in person. He's awesome and it just feels totally easy and natural but still exciting... so yeah, so far so good and we're both feeling really happy and really incredulous that this actually happened!! I'm here until next week and we've talked about what happens next, I'll update as and when we decide what to do but just wanted to give a quick summary for now! We're off to the mountains for a couple of days today so I won't be online much bit hope everyone has a good start to the week!

Vet, I'm so happy for you! I've been fairly quiet on here recently (I'm on the smitten bench!) but have been nipping on every now and then just to see if you've posted!
Hopefully this is the start of something wonderful

As the actual 50+ men are lying anyway and the online 50+ are clearly drawing their pensions. And not spending any of it on dental hygiene.

You are spot on there Cover.
I worked out I've had 10 first dates this year and 3 had some missing teeth. In one case it was most of his teeth.
And I reckon 6 or 7 of them were lying about their age.
This is I'm picky about who I will date now. Probably why I can't get any dates

wally i have sent you a message and I hope you are ok xx

Have followed this thread for months now . Never posted but v grateful for everyone sharing their stories on here ! Your tips and mantras ( we are the prize etc ) really helped me in the beginning as a newcomer to OLD ( bit older too ) Prepared me for what was to come ! I didn't have any really horrendous experiences so feel fortunate in that respect but yes I got ghosted a couple of times . I learnt to say no thank you and accept a no thank you too . I ended up meeting Number 6 - a guy who I am still seeing and who lives in the same town as me - 6 months down the line. We clicked from that first coffee date afternoon . So just wanted to say thanks again for sharing all your woes and fun and wishing you all luck . Incidentally it was through POF . Got a few through Match too but think the sheer numbers on POF is an advantage .

rolls about on the floor laughing

I've just seen a guy's profile. He has 4 photos which he has labeled "this is not an up to date photo (they look like either 10 years between each or just different random people) and 4 which he has labeled as "this is an up to date photo" and all 4 he has covered his face with a bag/his jumper/etc. Considering messaging him just to troll

Hi y'all, just come home from a first date from a pof hopeful. Very nice. He's much better looking than his pictures, really sweet, funny, lots in common, lived, worked and drank in some of the same places, know lots of the same people and enjoy very similar things.
He said he'd enjoyed himself and will be in touch...
If I was being a negative self talker I'd say he was too fit and good looking for me,he's really into his particular sport whereas I have disabilities which prevent me from being as fit as I'd like.
I had a good time too.
What happens next?
My first proper OLD since approx 2003!

I’ve loved reading the positive stories on here tonight. Vet your date sounds like a dream! It’s given me a real boost after my shit run of OLD luck!
I’ve got a first date tomorrow with an Iron from Tinder. I’m going to give it chance despite really not feeling the whole dating world at the moment and contemplating throwing the towel in until next year.

So after archiving Mr Not Ready Yet's chats on What's App and starting out the week with a fresh strategy for dating he got in touch with me this afternoon at lunchtime - asking if he could see me.

(This was the guy who needed to go away to his man cave to decide about what he wanted as it had all moved too quickly)

I told him to meet me at 7.30 this eve. We hadn't really spoken properly since he'd had his freak out so it was good to see him again.

Said he wanted to pick up where we left off, had time to think over things and said he'd really missed me. So, we are taking things slowly this time and just enjoying each other... ..

He said he was impressed that I'd given him the space to do his thinking and left him too it as he'd never had that before. So that strategy worked out well in the end 🙈 as painful as it was.

I am going to bed a happy lady tonight. 💛

@dragonflyflew congrats! What happens next is that you relax, let him be the one to do the running or jumping if necessary, keep searching and living

AsleepAllDay thank you!
I'm going to take your advice.
Whilst prepping for this date I have racked up a nice amount of messages from other guys (some dreadful of course) but it will give me stuff to focus on skin not fixating on him and putting all my eggs in one basket.
This thread is an invaluable learning tool!

Not sure where the random 'skin' came from above!