Dating Thread 139: clowns swiping left to me, jokers to the right...

[Pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@RaspberryGirl - I'm also late thirties but have all the kids I want - so I think the lack of that pressure contributes to the 'meh'!

@raspberry I find the same..re:.the big texters vs the less frequent texters

@sky I agree with others. If he's also middle aged then his former partner, current partner etc will all have middle aged bodies. It won't be that. Unfreinding you on fb etc just sounds really petty and uneccesary.

Woop, I have a date arranged for Monday after work. Pretty excited, I'll call him MrQuiet, doesn't use his phone much, which I think I really like about him. He sent me a selfie and he is even more gorgeous than his profile suggests. So we shall see how we get on in real life.

Woohoo @Cakecrumbs! Everything crossed!

@sky, that will have been nothing to do with you. Men don't get to the point of going to bed with you unless they want to and they can see your shape clothed! That's more his own embarrassment. The FB thing is annoying And childish. 'Oh we best block her before she kicks off. Gritted teeth !

I agree 're the mega texters. I was dating one who was so intense and then broke it off after 6 weeks! I missed the texts more.than him I think.

I have a date this evening. I think! Don't really know much about him
But he's local.and I have no Saturday evening plans so why not.

@cake woohoo! What's the plan, coupla drinks?

I'm supposed to meet someone tonight, call him running man. But last night I went to a freinds games night and inevitably it turned into a drinking games night. Bit of a sore head but I really dislike making dates and not following through so I'll go and maybe just keep it short.

@supercali you'll probably be feeling fine by later and Saturday dates are like gold dust !

I'm meeting a date for a drink this eve. We've not chatted loads on text, maybe twice a day which is perfect. I am wary of the over texters. He's keen but not too keen.

Had a tricky situation with an ex this week and my FWB has told me he's finding things a bit tricky on the feelings front so I think sadly out time might be out soon :-(

@cool I was hoping for a disco nap but unfortunately I've had to clean my old flat all day before handing keys over. Wah. Hope your date goes great!

I've been on and off these threads a few times now but am back on the dating sites so I'm going to join in and share my tales.... I've joined Tinder and Bumble so far. Never used Bumble before so thought I'd give it a go. Have one chat going on there and a few on Tinder but find I can't have too many or I get confused!!
With some though it's like pulling teeth.... why do people bother joining dating sites if they can't make more than a one word reply effort? How do they ever expect to actually get as far as a date?!!

@supercali how was your date?

Mine was lovely, lovely guy and perfect gent but no spark on my side. Felt bad as he put me on the spot a bit and asked me out for dinner before we left.

@cool ah I hate that, it's all perfect apart from that elusive ingredient. What/who have you got lined up Next?

Yeah mine started quite meh. Conversation was stilted. Got the feeling he was nervous. After a few drinks though it got easier but actually I didn't fancy him at all until I walked him back to the bus station. We walked arm in arm and chatted and laughed like old freinds. We had a long kiss before he got the bus and I hailed a cab. Funny old turn of events. I'm still not sure I properly fancy him but I'm intrigued. We've a lot in common and the last bit of the night was perfect. I have a second date tonight so maybe that'll help by comparison?

@supercali sounds like a date of 2 halves! Sounds like he's worth a second date to check on the fancying?

Who's the date with tonight?

Yeah our chat last night was good if a little earnest (I was boring myself lol). I rarely find the chat hard as I do alot of small talk in my job. I'm feeling like I need to let him know today as he's said he wants to take down his profile.

I'm supposed to be on a date Wednesday but he's gone quiet on me so will leave that. Chatting to 2 more, one definitely looks like my type. I wonder if I'm being too fussy, these are nice guys that I'm meeting but you either fancy them or you don't.

All my irons are currently cooled off....
I decided to try a few new ones today And i received this message '..... has chosen to only accept messages from upgraded users'
Is this a new thing?
Or just coincidence?
I'm not paying 🤣🤣🤣

@cool yeah I'd go on a second date with him to see. Tonight is Mr differentcity. Opposing childcare schedules too. It would be tricky long term but there was instant spark there so just testing the waters.

Good luck letting him down, it's an uncomfortable thing to have to do. And yes on the fancying front. No point trying to force it, though for me if it isn't a definite no I will do a 2nd date just in case.

@supercali, I would possibly go on a second date with the guy last night if he wasn't so keen. And my keenness isn't matching so will just be tricky!

dragonfly I've seen that before. It means they don't get innudated with messages from people they don't want to talk to. They can just message anyone they like the look of. I can kind of see why but it does mean you potentially miss out chatting to someone you haven't noticed.

After a long chat with a friend about my dating history, relationships and potential FWB, I decided to give Mr 37yr old a chance to see what happened. What happened was a disaster! I don't know whether to laugh or cry. We were supposed to meet for a drink then go back to his place. But it was one of those evenings where life is against you. Little things like lost keys, flat tyres etc etc. I won't go into the details because some of it is quite personal but we both had a series of things go wrong which led to a very awkward meeting at his place. More things went wrong there, so I just had to excuse myself and leave.

I doubt I'll hear from him again. All I wanted was a bit of fun and it turned into something like a bad Mr Bean movie. Don't think I'm meant to be dating right now, if at all.

Update on the texting with my date from Thursday. It seems to be going well, she was out with her friends last night and texted me at 2am to see how my evening was and we had a text chat that lasted for 45 mins. We've been messaging each other this morning too. She seems really sweet and lovely too.

Really looking forward to our next date tomorrow. She likes Thai food so I'm going to take her to a lovely one that I know in Fitzrovia.

RunsforCake -that sounds a bit uncomfortably familiar. I am not sure that it means you shouldn't be dating though!

supercali - good luck with the date, maybe first date nerves will have gone and it will be lovely?

Grobags - you just have to give it a go, I guess. I feel like everyone is a bit "so what" at the moment; not sure if it's me or them.

I am IN THE ACT of being late for a coffee date with a guy I've been sexting / phone sexing. I will go, I'll send a text in a minute and explain I'm setting off late. I nearly cancelled yesterday; I said I am not as confident or experienced as I probably seem and I only want to meet for coffee, no mad sexual immediate encounter. he said sure of course we'll get coffee and have a chat by the river, no pressure, etc etc etc. I am not sure how I feel about it but I guess I'll go and get coffee and get a look at him. I'm not shaving though! - haven't got time now. so no clothes are coming off for sure. If he's nice, a kiss would be nice. If he isn't: off home

On Friday night, whatsapp records inform me, I spoke to Lovely Friend for nearly an hour, twice (with a 2 minute break in between which was when I COULD NOT NOT PEE A MINUTE LONGER). One of the things I really like about him, in general, is that he is very relaxed talking on the phone and it usually doesn't matter in the slightest that he isn't physically there. On friday it really did suddenly matter a bit; you know what though HE IS NOT MY GUY

YeahCorvid hope your coffee date goes well.
Last night should've been like that - relaxed, meet for a drink and decide if we want to go any further. Had we been seeing each other for a while, then we could've just laughed it off. But for a first date, it was just too awkward to do anything.

This was the first bit of interest I've had from anyone in months and I blew it because of embarrassment. If I thought there was any chance of finding someone else to date, I would, just to put this behind me. But no one wants to chat never mind ask for a date.

richdeniro exciting! So your profile was fine after all! X

RunsforCake14 ah I see, kind of useful as I'm inundated with people I don't want to talk to.
Lots of messages from people from my past.
And young men.
And people who clearly haven't read my profile!

right I'm going in. COFFEE IS GO

Good luck @yeahcorvid!

@yeah good luck! Hope you get a bit of a pash 😀

@runs oh man, so there was no coming back from the situation then? Ugh bloody nightmare! What did he say about it?

@ cool oh yeah if there's an interest mismatch it's a no go.

Just about to set off and get a new top, maybe a perfume? 2nd date is a comedy club tonight which I do like. Tbh I always love a invite to their house or my house on the second. Gives the option for more intimacy. Not necessarily dtd.

I've got myself into a bit of pickle and need advice please! Had a date arranged with Mr Tuba for today. Yesterday Mr Corporate messaged wanting a second date. First date was 2 weeks ago, I was interested but not blown away. We went out yesterday, it was fun, I stayed the night. I got the feeling that no strings fun was all he wanted and I was good with that. He knew I had a date today and this morning was very full on - it had obviously moved on in his head. I was non-committal but happy to leave things open to maybe meeting again. Met Mr Tuba this morning and he was lovely. Instant spark, lovely kiss, really nice person. Now I feel like I've behaved badly. I got out of one man's bed and went on a date with someone who is gorgeous. I feel ashamed. Now I've got to extricate myself from Mr Corporate. I feel awful, like I lead him on.