Dating Thread 139: clowns swiping left to me, jokers to the right...

[Pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

So my potential online date date has said we could go to a bar together on our first date with music etc, or he has thrown out the suggestion of joining some of his friends who he is staying with? We have been getting on well on the phone and via the site so I was happy to say yes to the latter, just for a night out, but my friend thinks it’s weird. I suspect he just wants to make the night as relaxed as possible. Amy thoughts?

vet so exciting! Really happy for you

cake I've never done casual before. And never dated someone so much younger.
Having struggled to find anyone on OLD willing to chat to me, never mind date, I'd given up on the idea of dating anyone. Then along comes this guy, who seems keen but only on a casual basis. And I don't know what to do! I don't think I can do casual because I get too attached to people. But it would be good to have some fun.

May I join you please? I've been lurking and following vet's wonderful updates and it gives me hope!
I've been on Match for 3 weeks and had 6 dates but nothing butterfly inducing yet!
Irons at the moment: Mr Nice - pleasant but very dull, Mr Corporate - money driven, which is not me. My problem is that I'm a bit alternative and today's date hasn't filled me with much confidence by saying 'they say love is blind - I'm sure you'll find someone'! Kindly meant but...!!

Eesha do what you feel comfortable with. I’m not a very sociable person so I prefer to go for a coffee for a first date, meeting someone’s mates on a first date would be too much for me but that doesn’t mean it’s not ok for you to do it.

@cake oh yeah it was good. I was instantly attracted and he smelled great. But there are issues with childcare weekends and distance but he's coming over this side on weds night. Not sure what to do? I want to see what he's like when there's not so much pressure to talk across a table at one another. Was half thinking escape the room??? Is that a bit mental ?

@cake how's your foray into pof going (besides your ex being on there)??

super I suppose you have to decide if how often you could potentially see each other would be enough. Would it just be once a week maximum?
POF is being very unkind to me, no irons at all, thought I had one that seemed a good match but he has obviously found someone he deems a better match as is still online but not replying anymore.
I do have a scammer that just messaged me though so I might just have some fun with that instead!
I just pray for one nice guy that I actually fancy but so far nothing at all.

@cake yeah. Tbh I'm not against irregular/minimal contact at the mo. After my last LTR I felt pretty strongly that I didn't want to live with someone again. I dunno...im pretty jaded about relationships period. But it does rule out spontaneity.

Hehe. I agree have fun with the scammer. I've had really dead periods in there and then it's hopping for a bit and then dies down again. Part of the issue will be not being bang in the city....have you thought about changing your location? People have their max radius settings so that makes it harder if you fall outside of there

IdontknowwhyIcallhimGerald I LOVE your username,bike is one of my all time favourite songs!
That guy who said love is blind? What an arse!
Someone said to me once 'you're not to everybody's taste' unrelated but he is dead now....
I don't want to be everybody's type. I tried to be when I was at school and failed dismally. I tried again when I was married and had severe post natal depression. It nearly killed me.
Nowi prefer to be myself. It might like.it my scope when it comes to dating but at least I'm not settling for boredom.
I don't want to be alone but also I don't want someone who doesn't'get' me and I want someone who's a bit quirky themselves, but not too quirky.
Bloody Nora.
People keep telling me once I've past menopause I won't care about sex or partners, bring it on!

Ok stupid question!
What does irons stand for??

@dragonflyflew thank you! I totally agree and glad to hear that you're embracing your inner quirk That's the liberating side of getting older!
I have a new iron (in the fire @wheresthehope) who I'm calling Mr Tuba. He's the first to want a chat on the phone, which I haven't agreed to because I don't like giving my number to people I haven't met, but we're meeting on Sunday. No extended messaging - I've learnt that lesson!

VetonCall- please could you tell me where your MrCanada thread starts from as I want to read it from the beginning. You both sound amazing - so dreamy!!

Mr Beard is coming over at 12, feeling stupidly excited but nervous. I have to control myself and keep reminding myself that it’s just FWB (which isn’t that hard as I wouldn’t want a relationship with him).

Mr VW keeps messaging me and I have had to tell him that I’m out with a friend later so he doesn’t message when Mr Beard is here

Milo I'm actually not sure! It was only 5 weeks ago that we matched on Tinder and it all started so it must be on the last thread before this one. I'm not even sure how much I said about him at the start as I didn't think it would go anywhere with him heading back to Canada just a few days after we matched! I'll have to have a read back too

super I don't actually think it is location, although I know that's an issue for some men I don't want to pretend I live somewhere I don't. I get lots of messages but just not from anyone I'd be interested in, then the ones I'm really interested in don't message me back so there seems to be a mismatch. I am guessing I must be punching above my weight or something, harrumph. I am probably not looking for someone totally mainstream, although appearance wise I look mainstream, if a touch unglamorous, I am looking for quirky, I like quiet types but then I find they struggle to give me the connection I need as they tend to be quite solitary creatures. Maybe I'm searching for the impossible.
I did think about making my profile a bit more 'normal' but then that would probably be pointless really as I'd be attracting the wrong types. Anyone fancy having a little look at my profile?
love have fun with Mr Beard!
vet we all need to know your secret now! Maybe we could all just move in with you and MrCansda and feed off the excitement 😂

Runs Do you think you could try it once without getting attached? If so, it would not only take the edge off things but also give you a new perspective to consider.

Love you only need to control yourself when you're not with him - let loose at midday!!!!

Cake male perspective of your profile available here if you want it.

Runs I think casual only works if it’s with someone you know you could never be in a relationship with. If it’s someone your likely to have feeling with it’s not going to work. I’m always a bit wary as I get attached easily. Other than Mr Beards looks there’s not much else I am attracted too, the fact he has a very young child (which he didn’t tell me about) means I wouldn’t have a relationship with him. He’s also much younger than me which isn’t my usual thing. I have done FWB a few times and it only works for a short time before I get fed up or start having feelings so end it. It has also worked the other way where they have feelings for me and I don’t have feelings for them. I’m looking forward to today.

My Kayak has just messaged to arrange a date for tomorrow, I hope I’m not too tired after today’s date with Mr Beard. Mr VW also messaging and he seems super excited about meeting me Monday. I have stayed off POF as I can’t handle any more irons until I have met Mr Kayak and Mr VW.

bloke1 had a chat with me and doesn't want to do FWB any more as he's getting attached which is a shame as he was so fantastic in bed :) and we were fantastic together.

seeing MrLoveBombGhoster on Friday night. He has found someone - I knew he would quickly and I am delighted for him. He is a real catch and we will have a chat about how our friendship works going forward.

MrMusic, who I deleted, re found me and we may see each other when he's back from his trip. No expectations here given previous (!).

MrNorth1 due date 3, will try to arrange this weekend. 2 new irons but I've actually pushed them to meet me as neither of them are suggesting meeting and I just can't be arsed with long chats. It may intimidate them but then they were never right for me.

cake also happy to look at your profile

Wow amazing happy vet news, lovely.

I had first date mon night with Mr Bit Too Old - it was lovely and lasted till the next afternoon. We didn't firm up a next date but said sure we'd find a time and he said to text.

But now what?
I texted to thank him for date a couple of hours after we parted, he replied saying he enjoyed every min & wishing me luck for a sports fixture. I replied to that with a breif thanks, yesterday he texted enquiring about sports result and inviting me to pop round for to his for a cuppa Friday eve. I thanked him for lovely offer but said had to decline as I'm busy Friday eve (away sports fixture). I was quite busy at work and explained I was and didn't add "another time" or anything to my reply. That was midday yesterday, have heard nothing further since.

Am assuming I've just been massively played and he's just not really that interested. Sigh.

Feeling very stupid and naive. He'd chased me from thy outset even following up when I'd sent him an initial thanks but no thanks message on Pof. Grrr.

MrLoveBombGhoster .... He is a real catch

Erm.... I sense a huge disconnect

MrMusic, who I deleted, re found me and we may see each other when he's back from his trip

Give your head a wobble!

Good luck with the others Daffo

Kinunir do you fancy having a look at mine please?
When I was OLD before I had written loadswigh loads of pics but nobody seemed to read it so this time have pared it right back, still getting loads of messages from people who are the complete opposite to what I want!

Sure Dragon

doesn't matter what I think about LBG or Music as neither relationship potential :). Both FWB and as I've lost one, wouldn't mind finding another.

Will see MrNorth1 on Sunday, MrPub next week....MrInteriorDec at some point. MrLocalish was a non starter. MrMusic seems terrified by my request to meet (fgs) so that's a write off.

sorry MrMusic2. Not MrMusic1 ;)